Pat is a middle school teacher in Rockford, Illinois. When her son got ready to apply to college, he knew just where he wanted to go: Southern Illinois University, where his best friend was. Despite encouragement to fill out more applications, he applied only there. The summer before college, he discovered his friend had dropped out. They scrambled to get an application to Northern Illinois University instead, closer to home.
His good grades and high test scores got him in with no problem, and he's happy and successful at Northern. But Pat says she'll encourage her daughter to fill out more applications. "I would advise anyone to apply to a range of schools," she says. "You need to give yourself options."
Applying to college can be a stressful time. This is likely the first decision your child will make that has such lasting and important consequences. With more than 3,000 schools to choose from, knowing where to start can seem impossible. The school your best friend attends can be a valid option, but it's just one among many.
Your guidance will be crucial, but ultimately, your child must make this decision on her own. Still, it can be difficult for parents to resist asserting their own dreams and wishes. But pushing a child toward a school she may not want to attend, such as an alma mater, can result in resentment, even failure or dropping out. Parents want the best for their children. In this case, as Charles Shields, author of The College Guide for Parents points out, the "best" is the place your child will be most successful.
Still, ask a teenager what he wants to do in life or what he's looking for in a school and you're likely to get a blank stare. So, how to help your child determine what he wants and select a school that will provide it? Here are some concrete steps you can follow.
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