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Should there be mandetory seperation for twins and higher order multiples?
Twinsplusus July 16, 2008
I have twin girls who are 9. My state (FL) just recently passed a twin law which gives parents of multiples a voice in deciding whether or not their multiples should be seperated or kept together.
Many states have similar twin laws. My questions are:
1. What you think about this issue?
2. My famiy is moving to TN this month. If you are from TN, does TN have a twin law? Or is there mandetory seperation for multiples?
Twincerely to you all~
rkuntz January 1, 2009
We are the parents of 11 year old quads, 2 boys & 2 girls and this our experience and our philosophy.
Our History to date:
Kindergarden - all the the kids in one class - no problems.
1st Grade - same school but problems - The Principle unilaterally decided that the kids would be broken up into seperate classes. Our Parental wish was to play it year by year until about the third grade when we thought splitting the kids up would be more appropriate. The principle was both non supportive and non responsive with my wife (the "Good Cop") so the first week of August when we got their class assignments after a summer of administrative silence, Dad (the Bad Cop) called a school board member expressing displease, prior to making an appointment with the Superintendent to discuss the issue. At this meeting I politely but firmly presented our position buttressed with the very limited research on the issue that my wife an Elementary Ed major at the time had been able to discover. I wasn't completely unreasonable, I did point out that in the face of supporting research, as opposed to unsubstanciated opinion, that we were open to compromise, but that without countervaleing facts our position as parents would prevail. - No problem the kids stayed together for the 1st Grade.
2nd Grade - We utilized a different Elementary School in a different District - No problems at all out of the box. The new Principle, who didn't know us from Adam, asked us if we wished to have the kids in different classrooms and if so how split did we wish to split them up. We opted to but one boy and one girl each in two seperate classrooms based on my wife's opinion as to which pairings would be best. Interestingly one of those 1st grade teachers was half of an identical twin set and she was horrified to discover that our previous school would break a set in so cavalier a manner.
3rd Grade - New job, new town, new state, new school system - No problem - The Principle here had the same attitude as the one at the school where our children attended 2nd grade did.
Our issues now are revolve around inducing our kids middle school to implement the Gifted and Talented requirements of them, this is proving to be far more difficult. Bureaucractic inefficiency and delays, Meetings > empty commitments > followed by more meetings to deal with the lack of progress. It's unfair to say that the following scenario is the plan, but it's functioning as though the idea is to delay, delay, delay, i.e. "study the problem to death" after all it'll all go away when these parents graduate out of the system with their kids in a couple of years. Sorry no it won't.
Our Philosophy:
Consumerism - We are the customer, buy buying their product, we pay their salaries and build their buildings, they work for us. So we have a (big) say in the rules if we choose to exercise them our rights.
As Parents we're responsible for our kids 27/7/365 for a lifetime, schools are not. Schools do not have legal, moral authority or voting rights in excess of ours and the rules they have are not absolute. Our rights and obligations trump theirs. In their hearts good educators know this, because if the aren't parents themselves they had parents.
We practice NO patience with the bureuacracy. It's got to be right the first time. Our kids are 11 year old 5th graders only once and you can't roll the clock back and do it over again. They, the schools have to get it right for all of our kids now, not just for the next class or the one following or one ten years down the road. They have to do it NOW (for our kids) not later for next years kids, we insist no excuseses.
Having our wishes honored because we are liked and respected would be ideal. But as Parents, if push comes to shove, being disliked, respected and having our wishes honored also works. As Parents part of our job description is to fight for our kids.42124
Mari5210 January 5, 2009
I am a identical twin and do not believe that twins should be separated unless they want to, even then their parents should consider this issue individually. This should not be decided by parents thinking that it would be wise or for the better benefit either. It could be very tramatising for them. Twins have a different relationship than brothers or sisters. We were in the same grades until late middle school. Please be careful when you do this. I think that all schools leave this up to the parents as to whether their twins will be in the same class or not. I am in TN and I know that this is how it is in my elementary school where my daughter goes. My sister and I are 52 and still very close. Her husband asked her who she loved more him or me and she told him that ? did not even deserve an answer. I know the answer though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!42125
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