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"Get a Life" the teacher said...


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i_am_pauls_mom November 20, 2008


My son is 10 years old and his teacher told him (in front of the entire class) to "get a life." She emailed me about it and here's the email. I have not responded to her email, however she also called me as soon as I walked in the door.


Here's her email:






Ms. ********,


By the time you get to read this you will all ready have talked to Paul.  I think I embarrassed him really badly and it wasn’t meant to, I just wanted to tease him a little.  Apparently he was whining in Mr. *******’s class about wanting the toy car that one of the speakers brought in for the students yesterday. It was to the point that my class had to be interrupted by a student to come and get them.  I told him jokingly “to get a life” and he shouldn’t have been obsessed with that all day.  I feel badly because he looked upset and that wasn’t my goal.   Please call me. **********


I’m sorry. Miss **********

So I ask you here what would you have said to this teacher?




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MagnetMom November 20, 2008


I probably would have said nothing, because whining in my house gets laughed at or ignored (I have absolutely no tolerance for it), and I guess I can't picture how saying "Get a life" would be life-altering, but I admit we have a pretty dry sense of humor in my family.

I think the thing to note is that the teacher DID actually contact you, and the teacher wants to apologize. I think we ALL make mistakes, and I'm not going to hold teachers to a standard they can't possibly live up to.

If you'd feel better, go with your son to receive the apology, and then let it go. If your son needs to practice a few times what he wants to say to the teacher about how he felt, let him practice on you, but let him talk to the teacher.

Good luck, and keep us up to date on what happens.

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i_am_pauls_mom November 20, 2008


MagnetMom:

I don't think it would have been so bad had she not known that our son is very sensitive AND she did this in front of an entire class room full of children that found it very, very funny.

Kinda strange that I DO hold teachers to higher standards. Guess that's where I should take a step back and look.

Why in the world would a teacher say this to a child for ANY reason? She wouldn't tell her OWN child this. Yes..I'm very pissed!

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MagnetMom November 20, 2008


I had a roll-with-it kid who's now in college and I am still parenting a very sensitive one, so I do understand that aspect of it.

In a perfect world, of course, I want my child to be taught by incredibly sensitive, thoughtful, perfect teachers. But I've been in the classroom when the teacher lost it and yelled at a kid or kids who were disrupting the room. That's certainly humiliating, too.

Support your child, and go with him to hear the apology (or if it's already happened) ask him he's ok now. If your emotions are already involved, maybe Dad would be a more neutral party to attend.

My only suggestion is try to get your feelings in check so that you can talk to this teacher in the future without tainting your son's opinion of the teacher, since it'll be a long year if he feels violated over this one incident.

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eccentric November 20, 2008


Well, I will agree with MagnetMom. The fact that the teacher E-mailed and apologised should be enough. We all make mistakes and let's not forget that teachers are also humans!
Having said that, I can understand how your son felt so let him write an E-mail back or have him go talk to the teacher. This won;t scar him for life. I can;t help but adding that if it was my son, and if I had already received an E-mail form the teacher, I would've laughed it out with my son. It's only as big (or small) as you make it to be!

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MSMomm November 20, 2008


I agree with the other posters: the fact that the teacher sent you an email apologizing for what she said is good. Take your son to receive her apology and let it go.

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i_am_pauls_mom November 20, 2008


The teacher sent the email at 3:11 and called my home from her cell phone at 3:13. SCARED is what she is! Rightfully so because I do not intend on letting this go. The administrator needs to be aware of her behavior because what OTHER children is she talking to this way? My 25 year old daughter (his step sister) enlighted me to that fact that this teacher might have done this in the past. Thanks for all your replies.

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eccentric November 20, 2008


I know you won't like my response, but I will still urge you not to alienate the teacher, and even worse the Principal! Three people said the same thing in their response, do you think the Principal would think differently? Think what would you really achieve from going to the administrator. I would suggest that if you really want to go to the bottom of this, first ask other parents if they had experienced something similar?!

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i_am_pauls_mom November 20, 2008


eccentric,
I did ask others (not teachers nor administrators) and here's the responses for you to see.
1-I would tell her you don't appreciate her speaking to your son that way. I would also forward the email to the principal and the school counselor.
2-I would report her to the school board...and I would save that email as proof of what she did (maybe even forward it to the school board. That lady should not be teaching...ALL children are just tender souls that need to be built up!
3-Wow... I would be pretty upset too. The one thing I will add is that it's surprising she stepped up and admitted her wrong doing. It seems lately, teachers act badly and defend themselves and even the principal doesn't support the parents. We all do make mistakes... even as parents, we say things we regret. I hope she's learned a lesson from this and there is some sort of punishment. But I'm not sure she should be fired over it.

NOTE: seems like others do feel the way "I" do. Thanks again for all your replies and/or suggestions.

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1seremen November 20, 2008


I agree with others, but these questions keeping on coming to my mind. Does this teacher crosses the line? How will I react if this happens to my 'ten" year old boy. Why didn't' she uses many positive options available to all educators? Is this teacher a whiner or complainer? Who is really this teacher? Will this teacher behaves the same way toward her child, or another child in her class, or her spouse? Does her job description, teaching? Is she familiar with playground culture and pre-teen boys?

What would i do? I do not know, but I do know that, her email will be forwarded to the principal and superintendent. In my school district, she will be nearly out of her job. My school district have zero tolerance for this kind of behavior from a professional teacher.

I hate whiners, but some people are and sometimes they get away with it. I hope your son's teacher read more about the emotional and social aspects of pre-teen boys and do her job, TEACHING.

Do what is in the best interest of your son and your family.

Good luck!

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tropicgal November 21, 2008


Unless she has a history of this type of behavior, or she does it to your son again, I would accept the teacher's apology. She was adult enough to bring it to your attention. Whether she was scared or truly concerned about your son's reaction, we don't know. Escalating it up to the district and school board and getting her fired is overreacting, in my opinion. I also wouldn't forget the fact that my son's behavior had a part in this, too.



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