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"Get a Life" the teacher said...


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i_am_pauls_mom November 20, 2008


My son is 10 years old and his teacher told him (in front of the entire class) to "get a life." She emailed me about it and here's the email. I have not responded to her email, however she also called me as soon as I walked in the door.


Here's her email:






Ms. ********,


By the time you get to read this you will all ready have talked to Paul.  I think I embarrassed him really badly and it wasn’t meant to, I just wanted to tease him a little.  Apparently he was whining in Mr. *******’s class about wanting the toy car that one of the speakers brought in for the students yesterday. It was to the point that my class had to be interrupted by a student to come and get them.  I told him jokingly “to get a life” and he shouldn’t have been obsessed with that all day.  I feel badly because he looked upset and that wasn’t my goal.   Please call me. **********


I’m sorry. Miss **********

So I ask you here what would you have said to this teacher?




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i_am_pauls_mom November 21, 2008


tropicgal:
I hear ya. However regardless of what my son DID or did NOT do is irrelevant. This is a TEACHER talking to a STUDENT. I'm going to see how the apology went today. I want to see how my son FEELS about it. However I think it's important that the administration KNOWS what she did do.

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debrasuefitzge November 21, 2008


i agree with you i-am-pauls-mom.

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i_am_pauls_mom November 22, 2008


Update on this issue.
The teacher did apologize to both classes (morning and afternoon) and sent me an email acknowledging this. Here's her email:

Ms. *******,

I apologized to Paul in front of both classes today. I wanted to let you know again how sorry I am. Paul had a great day today for me. He worked very hard and didn't get one warning during class time. I hope that you have a wonderful Thanksgiving break with your family.

Miss ******

Note: His teacher LIED about his day. He 'did' get "warnings" several times for "calling out" - however she is saying he didn't. I have no clue as to why she would say he didn't get "one warning during class" when in fact my own son said he was warned several times. Gessssssssh...I'm thankful that she did the right thing by apologizing.

I asked my SON how he felt since she apologized and he said that he was fine with it. He said one of the kids in the afternoon class did laugh, but it was because the way the teacher explained it. She said that sometimes we wish we had a net to grab words and take them back. We can't.

Final note: She owned it. In other words I will bet she will watch "how" she speaks to ALL students now.

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debrasuefitzge November 22, 2008


I'm glad she apologized to the class and your son

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eccentric November 22, 2008


Wow! Congrats!
Your son's teacher is a very smart lady!

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emmacarter November 30, 2008


"Ms Jones, I think we both realize at this point, your response was both inappropriate and ineffective for Paul. Can you kindly discuss this with him?

In addition, I would like to meet with you regarding this situation so we can all clear the air and Paul and I are feeling that the channels of communication are between all of us make sense again.

Thank you.

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emmacarter November 30, 2008


I don't get it.

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cwtaylor December 31, 2008


As a former teacher, I think the teacher's comment was a little over the top in a classroom. My 10 year old has experienced the tease of "get a life" at home when she excessively whined about something, but in a classroom, it would more likely have the effect of humiliating her than anything else.

When I had a student who excessively whined to the point of disrupting the class (as happened in this case), some disciplinary action was always in order --the student either respects the teacher's authority when they are repeatedly told to stop whining or there is a consequence. A 10yr old is WAY too old to continually whine and to disrespect the teacher's authority. While all my students whined or groaned over something at one time or another, it was almost never a problem because they knew for certain there would be a negative consequence.

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mothermember January 8, 2009


Since my children have been in school, I've heard alot of theses little comments some teachers have made, some I've heard and some, my oldest has told me.I'm always shocked by what I hear!I had something like this happen to me, when asking a teacher was it ok for me to bring cupcakes, for my daughters birthday. It was the very first of the year,and I had no clue there would be about four more kids in the class room this year, and the teacher of course didn't let me know. I go to the school drop the cup cakes off in the class room, were I was given the cold shoulder like she wanted me to leave, so I did. My daughter came home from school and let me know I didn't bring enough cupcakes, I told her I was sorry, and that I didn't know.Then she tells me that in front of the whole class the teacher saids "well that just isn't right if your going to bring cupcakes , you need to bring them for everyone"that made me mad, so I go to the school the next day to talk with the Principal, and my daughters teacher was present also. I told her what my daughter told me, and I told her I thought she was very rude to me when I came to the school to drop off the cupcakes.She denied all of it, so I really didn't trust this women to teach my daughter, and knew she was someone I didn't won't to deal with, so I ask if my daughter could be moved from her class, she totally took the teacher side, and told me my daughter needed to learn how to deal with different personalities, and I shouldn't bail her out. I was lucky I was moving and able to change schools for my daughter, and I did! Let me add thats not the only problem I've had with theses teachers.Since I've changed her school she has done great, it's a wonderful school!I would speak your mind about anything that goes on out of the way, don't know what good it may do, but don't let the ones who do it slide. But since your sons teacher did send you an email, and apologized I wouldn't worry to much about it.

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i_am_pauls_mom January 11, 2009


UPDATE:
I never did talk to the Principal about the behavior of his teacher. (however I've kept the emails - just in case something like this comes up again)
Anyway...after her apology to the class my son was satisfied and went on with school as usual. I "acted" like I was fine with it also. (keyword: acted)
Can't help it..but I guess the Momma Bear in me thought "teachers" were held to a higher standard than just 'normal' parents and/or people. Had this teacher not known that my son was very sensitive in the first place I don't think it would have impacted me so much as it did.
Never fear...I took the high road and never spoke of it again to her or to my son. I've spoken with her numerous times after this and I just act like it didn't happen. I mean...she is his teacher. I think SHE learned a very valuable lesson and so did I. My lesson: NEVER EVER hold a 'teacher' to a higher standard. Her lesson: insert foot and apologize.
As for this impacting my son's life forever...not sure about that one. I'm sure when he has children he will be telling his children a story about "once upon a time there was this teacher that was very rude" (that kind of story.)
Anyway...thanks for all the replies/responses on this issue.
I 'wish' my son had RESPONDED as soon as she said it, but the other children were laughing their heads off, so he was embarrassed. I know now that if this should ever happen again...he will speak up and let that person know how inappropriate the comment and/or action was. Believe me...I've practiced with him. And I find that SHAMEFUL to have to practice with my child about how to handle an inappropriate comment from a teacher! My son let me know that if it was just one of his friends then it wouldn't have been so bad because he would have made the same kind of remark to them. This wasn't his friend though. It was his teacher.
All is good now. Onward we go.



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