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a boy pulled down my daughter's pants at school. Her underwear came down too and all the kids laughed including the boy. What...


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luvmom May 2, 2011


My daughter who is 8yrs old was so humiliated and embarrassed when a boy in her afterschool class pulled down her pants and underwear in front of everyone. This happened on a Friday right afterschool when they were outside standing in line ready for an afterschool program to begin. This afterschool program is a partnership program with my daughter school and is held right there at the school. Her private area was exposed to the whole group and all the kids including the boy all laughed at her. Her afterschool teacher saw her crying and asked what was wrong. When she told her what had happened the teacher brought the boy over but he denied doing so. My child was left then on the side bench crying and panting of embarrassment while the boy was sent back to join the rest of the kids inline and the teacher went back to lead her students inline. As they normally do on every Fridays when kids are inline, the director and the teachers play some sort of games with them before they go inside. They went on with their games while my child sat on the side still crying. My daughter said she cried the whole time. She finally stopped and followed them in when they were all done playing the games. When I picked up my child later that day her teacher informed me of what happened and that she talked to the boy's father when he picked him up but the boy denied doing such. When I approached the director about it he knew nothing of it. When I went to look for the school principle she was gone for the day. The director apologized and assured me he will take care of it on Monday. I emailed the school principle over the weekend but have not heard anything back from her. I am very upset that I'm shaking. I'm afraid I'm just going to blow up at school tomorrow. I am so upset the afterschool program director was not notified at all. And how can he not see my child crying on the side when all the kids are in line? How can this teacher dismissed this like it was nothing. I should had been contacted right away. I wanted to call the police that friday but did not. I want something done. I want this boy suspended. I want his parents to be advice of what their son had done. Please let me know what you think and what is your advice?

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justames72 May 4, 2011


Wow, what to say? I for one would also be highly upset. I feel you have done a great job of reporting this to the School and yes you deserve some action. Your child was assulted and the child and teacher should have to answer for this. The teacher who just let your child sit there probably did the most harm. She/He should have consoled your daughter and called you because this is just a horrible act. I do understand things happen between kids and yes he should be kicked out of the program but the other person who should have to deal with this is the teacher who left her. She needed support and was given a bench. I'm so sorry your child had to endure this. You should maybe explain you will handle this and not make her feel she will have to endure anymore heartache because of it. Meaning, if you are ranting and raving she may feel like she cannot say anything in the future. Just calmly handle this with the adults and tell her mommy will make sure it's taken care of...good luck to you both :)

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kwardsworth May 5, 2011


I have a 2 year old daughter and this scares the daylights out of me!! I know this is very hard for you and your daughter but I pray something positive stems from this terrible incident!

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earthangel141 May 5, 2011


While I wholeheartedly agree that you must stand up for your daughter and demand justice, I must say that joeparent9 seems to be quite angry at someone. I don't believe you have to be ina "low income" or "inner city" environment for this type of thing to happen. Yes, there are kids from those areas with behaviors similar to what you described, but I am from an upper middle class neighborhood with one of the best high schools in the country just around the corner and last year a boy held down my son while another boy spit in his mouth. I will not go into my story because I get angry everytime I think about it, but these two boys were supposedly from good homes and had a good upbringing. So, obviously not what joeparent9 described. Basically, I am bringing this up because it is very easy for people to get caught up in stereotypes and nonsense when in fact we should be focusing on the individual. Otherwise, you walk around with anger and a chip on your shoulder just waiting for a certain group of people to act a certain way or say something, just so you can point the finger and say AHA! So you are on crack, a thief, a junkie, a hoodrat, thug or whatever else you can think of. It's 2011 people, let's wisen up shall we.

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calypso1004 May 5, 2011


I agree with joeparent9. To protect the safety of your daughter the other students in the school is to call the police and the CPS. This behavior is considered a potential predator. Regardless if you have settled this with the school. It is also mandated that the school contacts the correct authorities to take care of the situation and check in on the child's welfare and where he has learned this behavior and why he finds it appropriate to do it to others. There is definitely something going on and needs to be taken care of before this boy does it again to your daughter or decides to target another student or child.

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sanemom May 5, 2011


I also joined to reply to this question. This is an emotive subject and clearly many of you feel very strongly about it. I absolutely agree that the way the program mishandled the situation warrants investigating but calling this behavior sexual battery, calling for the boy's dismissal etc etc is way over the top. Imagine if it was a girl who had pulled down a boy's underwear would you all be so quick to call in the cops? This young boy did wrong but to label him a sexual predator is ridiculous. The program has to address the whole bullying culture- zero tolerance to any teasing or harassment that causes distress.

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slombardo103 February 3, 2013


I can not believe that the instructor did not see your Daughter crying. They have to know where the students are at all times. The fact that the Instructor did not tell the director shows how concerned the instructor was. What make this even worse is the Principal failed to make contact with you. The school Board needs to be told of this. This is appalling that the school downplayed this. The boy should have been suspended .

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patchgirl February 4, 2013


lawyer up. How would you feel if someone did that to you? Aren't we teaching for life?

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4boysandagirl February 5, 2013


I have to agree with sanemom. I realize this is a sensitive issue and your daughter was truly humiliated but this falls on the responsibility of the adults. The boy who did it is not a sex offender, he is a little boy who needs some serious guidance and direction from the responsible adults around him so that he can make better choices in the future. The teacher should have given your daughter all of the love, protection, and attention she deserved at that terrible and humiliating moment. The boy should have been immediately excused and sent home until the after school program could align with the school to deal with the situation. The fact that the after school program teachers left your daughter there to cry and moved on with their activities is where the problem lies. Your daughter will heal, especially with the guidance from you to rise above and overcome the incident rather than catastrophize it. Resilience is a huge factor associated with success!

PS Lawyers are a large part of the reason that people grow up to be 25 and still think they can treat others the way this boy treated your daughter. There is always someone who will defend this "boy" for a good dollar. This situation calls for a loving, strong mother/father, not a lawyer...come on people...really!

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Candy001 February 5, 2013


I too signed up just to answer this post--I have a daughter and a son. 4boysandagirl and sanemom, your mindset is on the little boy not the girl--feel sorry for her too. Sexual harassment is sexual harassment whether it was done by an adult or a child--she was violated and if they were both adults, he would be in jail without a doubt. Children have committed heinous crimes everyday and without guidance, he's headed in that direction. Being a child does not make it okay nor does it change what he has done to his victim, the little girl. Yes, he needs guidance and part of that guidance is him being punished for what he has done so he knows never to do it again. The school should be held accountable as it took place on their premises with a company they've partnered with. They should discuss the no tolerance for bullying to all their students. I like the bullying paper scenario - you can crumble a paper up and treat it badly but trying to smooth it out will never remove the wrinkles (the scars left behind from being bullied).

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lal123 March 11, 2013


File a police report. It is harassment!



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