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My daughter who is 8yrs old was so humiliated and embarrassed when a boy in her afterschool class pulled down her pants and underwear in front of everyone. This happened on a Friday right afterschool when they were outside standing in line ready for an afterschool program to begin. This afterschool program is a partnership program with my daughter school and is held right there at the school. Her private area was exposed to the whole group and all the kids including the boy all laughed at her. Her afterschool teacher saw her crying and asked what was wrong. When she told her what had happened the teacher brought the boy over but he denied doing so. My child was left then on the side bench crying and panting of embarrassment while the boy was sent back to join the rest of the kids inline and the teacher went back to lead her students inline. As they normally do on every Fridays when kids are inline, the director and the teachers play some sort of games with them before they go inside. They went on with their games while my child sat on the side still crying. My daughter said she cried the whole time. She finally stopped and followed them in when they were all done playing the games. When I picked up my child later that day her teacher informed me of what happened and that she talked to the boy's father when he picked him up but the boy denied doing such. When I approached the director about it he knew nothing of it. When I went to look for the school principle she was gone for the day. The director apologized and assured me he will take care of it on Monday. I emailed the school principle over the weekend but have not heard anything back from her. I am very upset that I'm shaking. I'm afraid I'm just going to blow up at school tomorrow. I am so upset the afterschool program director was not notified at all. And how can he not see my child crying on the side when all the kids are in line? How can this teacher dismissed this like it was nothing. I should had been contacted right away. I wanted to call the police that friday but did not. I want something done. I want this boy suspended. I want his parents to be advice of what their son had done. Please let me know what you think and what is your advice?
I just posted then reread your story and I want to add this. The principal is not going to respond right away because they are doing damage control. They undoubtledly realize the seriousness of this and they are trying to point a finger somewhere. Be ready for some BS....Light some fire and demand a response by a certain time....or else... have lawyer ready! Please, take care of you and your daughter. 82700
I would definitely pursue legal action..especially against the afterschool program. This was a serious situation that was grossly mishandled. Immediately, that young man should have had his parents called and you should have been notified as well. Your daughter was totally violated and it was dismissed. Did they seriously think that the boy was going to say ,"yes, I did it." By then, he realized the seriousness and said what he needed to say to stay out of trouble. The intial responder should receive consequences as well. Find out if she followed protocol when handling the situation..(I'm sure she did not). Everyone around the situation should be appropriately questioned. The afterschool program are hoping you just go away...but stay at them, file a police report. Let the program know you will be harshly pursing this matter. That was nothing but sexual harassment. In what day and age did they think this was acceptable? If someone makes a complaint about another to the police, the police will arrest and ask questions later. They do not go the defendant and say, "did you do it? and let the person go if they are denied. I am so against bullying and I firmly believe that the boy needs to be aware of his negligence and given a substantial punishment. Please, let your daughter know that you are with her in this every step of the way. It's nothing like the protection and love from a parent when you really need it. Make sure you keep emailing to maintain a paper trail. This way you have all responses in writing. Have a parent advocate or lawyer with you. Know procedure and protocol so they can't just pass down nonsense to you. Tell them to provide you with a copy of their procedure and protocal so that you can document what they are saying. You have a serious legal case. She was forcibly exposed. Sock it to them. Let them know you are not playing. If you are going to be irate, be knowlegeable. Protect yourself and your daughter. I hope this helps. keep us posted. p.s. if you have to pull the media card do so(you will expose them). These people are hoping that they are dealing with an apathetic parent. Let them know better. Please stay strong!82699
Although some kids think that pranks like this are harmless it is sexual harassment and could hold very serious consequences. If the school is not addressing the issue and taking appropriate action there are things you can do to ensure your child's safety. I don't know what state you live in and it does make a difference, but here is a helpful website that can give you some useful information http://capsli.org/ This is a very serious situation and needs to be handle as swiftly as possible. Do not let your school tell you otherwise.82691
I too signed up just to answer this post--I have a daughter and a son. 4boysandagirl and sanemom, your mindset is on the little boy not the girl--feel sorry for her too. Sexual harassment is sexual harassment whether it was done by an adult or a child--she was violated and if they were both adults, he would be in jail without a doubt. Children have committed heinous crimes everyday and without guidance, he's headed in that direction. Being a child does not make it okay nor does it change what he has done to his victim, the little girl. Yes, he needs guidance and part of that guidance is him being punished for what he has done so he knows never to do it again. The school should be held accountable as it took place on their premises with a company they've partnered with. They should discuss the no tolerance for bullying to all their students. I like the bullying paper scenario - you can crumble a paper up and treat it badly but trying to smooth it out will never remove the wrinkles (the scars left behind from being bullied).82413
I have to agree with sanemom. I realize this is a sensitive issue and your daughter was truly humiliated but this falls on the responsibility of the adults. The boy who did it is not a sex offender, he is a little boy who needs some serious guidance and direction from the responsible adults around him so that he can make better choices in the future. The teacher should have given your daughter all of the love, protection, and attention she deserved at that terrible and humiliating moment. The boy should have been immediately excused and sent home until the after school program could align with the school to deal with the situation. The fact that the after school program teachers left your daughter there to cry and moved on with their activities is where the problem lies. Your daughter will heal, especially with the guidance from you to rise above and overcome the incident rather than catastrophize it. Resilience is a huge factor associated with success!
PS Lawyers are a large part of the reason that people grow up to be 25 and still think they can treat others the way this boy treated your daughter. There is always someone who will defend this "boy" for a good dollar. This situation calls for a loving, strong mother/father, not a lawyer...come on people...really! 82407
I can not believe that the instructor did not see your Daughter crying. They have to know where the students are at all times. The fact that the Instructor did not tell the director shows how concerned the instructor was. What make this even worse is the Principal failed to make contact with you. The school Board needs to be told of this. This is appalling that the school downplayed this. The boy should have been suspended .82375
I also joined to reply to this question. This is an emotive subject and clearly many of you feel very strongly about it. I absolutely agree that the way the program mishandled the situation warrants investigating but calling this behavior sexual battery, calling for the boy's dismissal etc etc is way over the top. Imagine if it was a girl who had pulled down a boy's underwear would you all be so quick to call in the cops? This young boy did wrong but to label him a sexual predator is ridiculous. The program has to address the whole bullying culture- zero tolerance to any teasing or harassment that causes distress. 69650
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