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Trouble with kindergartener


Momof2miracles October 7, 2012

My 5 year old kindergartener told another student to f*** off and received a disciplinary report. This is the first time this has happened but we do not want it to happen again. So I was wondering if there is anyone that has had this happen and what steps you take to make sure it doesn't happen again. We remind him every morning before he leaves for school to behave and not say things he know isn't acceptable at home or at school, but I still sit on pins and needles all day while he is at school. How can I help myself to relax and not worry as much also.

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franswa October 8, 2012

I am assuming you have covered tracking down where he heard such language and eliminating that source, it can be hard sometimes. From what you posted I am left to assume that this is not the first dealings with this issue since you said you are reminding him every morning, or is it just since the disciplinary report? At any rate my take on this is that he is receiving more attention for the bad behavior. It may be time to redirect EVERYONE'S thinking from home to school and beyond (little buz light year there). My suggestion would be a traveling journal for school that the teacher can communicate to you that she caught him making good language choices which you then reinforce at home. If this happened at recess, it's really hard to monitor and he is probably doing it for effect around other kids. Good luck, I hope this helped.


TeacherParent October 8, 2012

If it's the first time it happened, sometimes that's a powerful learning experience especially for young children. These days children can hear that harsh expression almost anywhere and they don't know that it won't be well received at school. Now that he's said it, he knows that school doesn't accept that kind of language.

Why does one incident make you sit on pins and needles every day? How did your son respond when both school and you told him in no uncertain terms that such language is offensive and unacceptable? Was he embarrassed? Was he apologetic? Or was he defiant?

The steps you take to discourage this kind of language can be to explain to a child that though there are people who use harsh language casually, you don't want him to be that kind of person. You can explain that your family has certain standards of behavior and that harsh language does not meet your family's standards of behavior. You can also point out that harsh language is seen as angry language and anger doesn't solve a problem - it only makes problems worse.

I ask my own children and my students this question - do you want to be a part of the problem or a part of the solution to the problem? Speaking courteously to other children in school is being a part of the solution.


Sarapostale October 16, 2012

I saw this happen, it was a mommy and me thing and this girl shoved a kid drawing and the girl said he was a b****h. Normally, kids learn from tv shows, viral videos, and sometimes grown-ups and their own parents!! Does your kid use computers and watch a lot of viral videos or is around older kids?? If it the first option, You might want to download and app called log me in, it can track what your kid is doing right from your smartphone, iPad, iPhone, or iPod touch! If you see your kid watching something innapropriate, you can actually force turn-off the computer and speak to your child. If it is tv shows, quietly walk into the room and take a glimpse of what they are watching, if it something horrible, sneak behind their shoulders and tell them what they are doing, if they hesitate, turn off the tv and have a good talk. If it older kids and you, make sure your kid is around friends,teachers or nobody and if they learn from you, (Lol it happens), try not to say bad words, yell, make fights obvious or get mad too much. If it is none, you still need to discipline! take away toys, no tv for a week, no play dates, anything! Don't make it 1960-70 school by beating your kids with rulers and throwing them in locked rooms lol!

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