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my eight year old


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asnann2 December 8, 2012


I am dealing with my child who has been in trouble at school everyday and has not been listening been mean to other kids cant follow directions and cant sit still last week she decided to stab another 2nd grader in her class with a pencil in the hand I was scared of what she could do next Her doctor seems to always just want to put her in counciling and she has been going since kindergarden and it seems not to help her see seems to get worse as the years go by I just dont know what to do when I just go to talk to her about what she does wrong she burst out into tears for no reason IAM JUST LOST FOR WORDS CAN ANYONE HELP WITH WHAT I SHOULD DO....

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bloodbrother January 14, 2013


Hello,
Very sorry for what I am sure is very painful as a parent (I have a six year old). I am not an expert by any means but there are some obvious things to me that make a world of difference. Just from what you wrote, it "seems" like she is acting out, wanting attention? Is there a strong bond between the two of you? Do you feel that she is confident of your love for her? How is her relationship with your fiance'? It seems to me like there could be an emotional need? Not saying I am correct but it ceratinly would be worth exploring some of these questions honestly. I am definetely not a believer in medicine until all other avenues have been addressed. I hope I am coming across in the way I intend; I'm not making any accusations about your parenting, but merely bringing some thoughts to light that "could" and "would" play a role if there was a problem. Hope this is helpful.

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live4tea January 14, 2013


My daughter was struggling with a few learning issues at age 9 and what really changed things for her was vision therapy. I had her tested by a reputable eye care specialist and we found her eye muscles were not strong enough to stay focused. She was working twice as hard as the next kid to read. We thought she was a klutz. It all cleared up beautifully after the therapy. We learned that many, many kids are told they have ADD or behavior issues when really they are frustrated about how hard it is to read, write, do puzzles, etc. I was glad she did the vision therapy, despite being skeptical!

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Aneissa January 13, 2013


I am SO sorry you are going through this! I can imagine you are at your wits end! Please be her hero and advocate. She needs you to believe in her. She is obviously scared and is afraid that you won't love her. Keep assuring her of your love and promise her that you will find a solution. Demand that the school help her. If she is overwhelmed with her school work they can and must help her. I agree that you must get someone who specializes in helping children with these kinds of difficulties. Definately check into the nutritional aspects. Medications actually change how the brain functions so personally, I opted not to give my child medication. But some children just can't have a quality life without it. Another GREAT site is mercola.com. You can research ALL kinds of things that will help plus look at some scientific studies on what the medications do to children. Please also pay attention to all the people around her including your fiance. I hate to say it but someone may be hurting her and her agression is just in response to her boundries being violated. I'm divorced and my daughter wouldn't tell anyone that her stepmom was abusive because she was afraid she would lose her dad if she told on her stepmom. My thoughts are with you and always keep looking for a solution for your daughter. Be willing to look at yourself but also never give up on finding a solution "out there". Hang in there.

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LisaLisa2 January 13, 2013


There is a solution. Most pediatricians don't know though. She might have ADHD or just the predisposition for it. Go see a practitioner who understands "functional medicine". For whatever reason in the US, traditional medical schools don't emphasize it and so here chiropractors with backgrounds in nutrition have picked up the testing. In essence, she might be genetically low in key vitamins (e.g. zinc and B6), and genetically intolerant to gluten (celiac or non-celiac type) and food dyes/artificial flavorings. I promise you can have your real child back--the one inside the wild one that you know is there. For reference: www.foodforthebrain.org and www.feingold.org. My daughter is a joy to be with, social, responsible and a very good friend with her classmates/playmates. I have heard of HealthNOWmedical.com in CA which does this type of testing and has an MD in the group too. good luck.

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pihiparent18 January 13, 2013


I have heard that red 40 dye, which is in a lot of different processed foods, is often responsible for the misbehavior of young children. I would go through her entire diet and eliminate every food that has any form of red dye in it. If this doesn't produce any results you should think about the ADHD diagnosis and medication or behavioral modification techniques. I hope something works for you and I hope she can feel better. I'm sure that this is all very hard on her as well as everyone else.

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wholeme January 13, 2013


Is she taking any medications, like allergy meds? Some allergy medications can cause anger and aggression. If she takes any medications, you might want to deeply research the side affects - not just from the manufacturers, but from non-biased sources.

Here's a link to one article:
http://www.drhansen.com/2009/03/10/drug-alert-allegra-claritin-and-zyrtec-causing-serious-side-effects/

Don't stop believing in her. She's in pain and needs you to sort it out. I believe you can do that.

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LynnetteSamuel January 13, 2013


Have the school district do a full evaulation in all aspects: pyschological, IQ, OT, PT etc You are entitled to this. It's part of the Commitee on Special Education Program. You also need to see a psychiatrist and a psychologist if she has ADHD. You say she is angry, she may also have a mood disorder which requires meds. Good Luck!!

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KriscoS December 9, 2012


If she is now a danger to her classmates i am amazed your pediatrician has not helped her. she needs to get help asap

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debra32 December 9, 2012


I really suggest seeking out a new physician. She should really be tested for adhd since her dad had it. Addressing this issue now is so important before she begins falling so far behind. She is showing signs of frustration which is coming out in anger. She doesn't know how to process these issues in her own mind. Any signs of dyslexia? I have a brother who has dyslexia and had the same issues. Hang in there. Call your pediatrician and demand help. Tell them she tried to hurt another child. Insist she get testing. Demand answers. You are her only hope. Be strong mom! She needs you. With the right doctors there is hope. I am so sorry you are feeling this way.

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asnann2 December 9, 2012


also she is starting to fall behing the other students in her work and she still wwrites like she is in kindergarden her writeing and math she just cant seem to grasp right now she cant read like she should as her teacher says kids can be mean and i dont want her to fail 2nd grade she hides her homework and when i find it she cries and says it is to hard to do



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