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Kindergarten Crisis - Help Please!!!!!


user5245042 October 8, 2013

So my son has been in the kindergarten for a month now. He is the youngest and I decided to advance him rather than following the typical cutoff by sending him to kindergarten at private school. We received "Outstanding" progress reports when he was in the preschool and he definitely was a leader in the class; he was the oldest there.
Now, almost every day he gets sent home with incomplete classwork. We were already called in to meet with teachers and wow, I felt like I was hearing about a different child. No focus in the class and not following directions, not even simple directions!!! He has no issue academically. They told us he is immature and lacks in independence. Per teacher, she has to work with him one on one to get his work done. Is this exaggerated? Are they saying everyone in the class need no help but him? This school is very demanding school and they only provide directions in classwork ONCE!! Curriculum is much accelerated too. They are doing first grade level math and are moving in a real fast pace. I asked assistant teacher and he is not the only one having trouble with following directions said only once. She said that they are trying to re-train kid's brain to school model. Socially I think he is not making whole lot of friends either. When I picked him up yesterday, the aftercare assistant told me that she has trouble getting him listen to her. She said that my son has to be told multiple times to things done. OMGosh.....
He says he likes school. He does homework with no complains with me. He is bright and very happy child. His preschool teacher always praised on how well behaved he is and how great kid he is. He gets up early and appears to be motivated to go to school. At times, I see stressed behaviors.... I wonder if he is not complaining about the school to please us. And his behavior in the class is a subtle "rebellious" gesture....
He mentions about bigger boys in his class and how he wants to be as big as them by eating a lot. I think he feels inferior. He tells us how he wants to be a leader.
This school is very good school. My husband and I talked and even if he makes a breakthrough, we should follow the typical cutoff and send him to another kindergarten with smaller classroom set up where he will be older. Then once he matures, we can always come back to this school if we choose to.
Sorry for the long story. Any thoughts? My mind is numbed.....

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MagnetMom October 9, 2013

My heart goes out to you. My kids are 10 years apart and the changes in kindergarten from my son to my daughter was alarming. It's so much more academic. Essentially what my son learned in first grade had been moved down to kindergarten by the time my daughter started.

And it is worse with boys. You can wait until the end of the year, or if you feel strongly, you might even want to move him now and lessen his anxiety.

Good luck, and let us know what happens.


user5245042 October 9, 2013

Thank you for your feedback. The teacher recommended to put him in Tae Kwon Do class and we will start on it this week. Also, I have been talking to him about the importance in finishing his classwork in the class. He knows all the answers when we do it at home!!! But I did notice he asks whether his answer is right or wrong. We have been very and too accommodating to his wants and lately, we have been strict with him and letting him know that we are the boss, not him. We are starting to see some differences in his behavior. So we are trying for him, not for the school, but for his future. I am glad that we are going through this now since it's still early for him. We are about 65% on considering to send him to different school at the end of the year and make him the oldest in the class. I think he'd be happier knowing that he can be the leader and potentially be the biggest. But do need to find a school with small class size with the gifted program to continue to challenge him rather than being bored.

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