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What to do when you're child tells you that you are geting fat.


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Anonymous December 20, 2008


My child is 12 she tells me I am geting fater by the minute.Every time I eat something bad I hear it from her she says that certain things are not good for me.she says I have to many jelly rolls.sometimes she makes fun of me when I have troubl walking. When her daddy hears her talking to me like this he gets on her because of this.sometimes this makes me feel bad.I want to eat better but its hard for me to do this.The scale goes up and down all the time.My child has told me that she does not want to be like me.another words she does not want to be fat.I told her to eat healthy and eat tight to. maybe she will turn out ok.maybe one day I will be smaller then what I am today.I guess it will take time.

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laura1967 December 20, 2008


I do not know your "circumstance's", or your "personal business", but you sound "very hurt". Kids can been sometimes "to honest" to the point of you beening hurtful. (and i am sorry you are hurting). I really am at a loss for words, because i really do not have a question to answer--it sounds like --you just needed someone to listen, i will listen....Laura

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healthy11 December 20, 2008


I used to be called "the food police" by my mother, because I'd always try to encourage her to eat better, too. I did it because I loved her, and I wanted her to be around for many years to come. (She had many health problems.)
I'm sure your daughter loves you, too, and is trying to help ensure your good health. I know doing things like dieting and exercising "alone" is harder than with "a partner." Would your daughter be interested in perhaps being your "exercise partner?" Staying healthy is a combination of good diet, attitude, and exercise....maybe you could go for walks around your neighborhood, or in a park, or to a zoo, or join a YMCA, but something that can help both of you build a stronger relationship while improving your fitness, too.

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odachimaster December 20, 2008


it is great that your daughter is concerned for your health. I would ask her if she feels embarrassed by your weight? are her friends saying stuff? I say this as my Dad had this stomach he worked out almost everyday of his life military school law enforcement He just got it when he opened a company and could not get off this gut.

Tell her you do want to be healthy but I also believe I should be able to choose some fun foods as well and play the trump card " I am the Adult (semi) and Your the Child "

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chtterbox December 21, 2008


my body loves chockolate and some sweets.My mother was biger then what she is today.The only reason she is a little smaller now is because her doctor told her she has diabetes and she got to cut back on surger big time.my daughters farther is a diabetic to.My mom tells me to do something about my weight befor it gets out of controll.I see my mother every other week-end if I am lucky.I know I can drop some pounds but its hard.I have to try to train my head to do wright.One day it will happen.

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sharie001 December 22, 2008


First things first, it sounds like you tolerate her telling you that you are fat. I am by far not a perfect parent but saying hurtful disrespectful things to me or others was never tolerated.

She needs to learn manners and how to tactfully tell someone something. If she is twelve years old, then I'm sure she is aware this hurts your feeling. Tell her how much it hurts, and give her examples of more tactfull ways to address her concern of your weight, like doing some sort of exercise together.

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PortiaP January 2, 2009


I agree with Shaire001. Your daughter needs to respect you and by that I mean choose her words wisely. Does your daughter have a self-esteem problem. When a person says something they know will hurt a persons feelings. Then that person is having problems. Maybe you should sit down and talk to her about her friends at school and see if she is being teased. Her problem isn't how you look, it's a problem she is having with herself.

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dhfl143 January 2, 2009


Nothing happened overnight. It is a matter of setting small reasonable goals and being able to see measurable success. How do you feel about your weight? Have you had a physical to make sure that there are not other factors contributing to your weight gain?

Why do you think your daughter made those comments? Is it that she loves you very much and is concerned about your health? Or, is she embarrassed or angry? There are many factors to consider, but if you can isolate the reason behind the comments, you will be in a better position to be able to address them. Other than the weight how is you and your daughter's relationship doing?

All of us bring something to the table. We are not all the same shape or size. It is not a cooking cutter world. More important that our appearance is the person we are in the heart. While it is important to be healthy -- it is far more important to be a person of character whose inner beauty far exceeds what the eyes can see. Help your daughter to see her true potential and develop the person within.

Have you had a true heart to heart with your daughter and talked about her and your feelings? Does she know how it makes you feel to hear her express herself in this way? What is her intent behind these words? Good communication can go a long way to helping this situation.

Best wishes.

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katiesgrandma January 2, 2009


hi I know what that fell like. My granddaughters live with me,and yes they can be mean with the words that they choose. Yes I too I'm over weight, but when they talk to me that why I let them know " no matter if I'm fat or skinny I'm still your grandma" they do say that they are sorry. and I let them know that words hurt

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beachcomber January 6, 2009


Kids will be kids (and brutally honest). I'm sure she just loves you and wants you to stay around for a long long time. Maybe you could take her grocery shopping and the two of you could shop together for healthy alternatives to junk food. I' sure if she sees you trying, it will mean alot to her. Getting rid of a little bit bad goes a long way.
Good Luck

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tnewton8351 January 14, 2009


I have to agree with Sharie001. I have a weight problem and my daughter has said a few things in past and it was addressed immediately. Name calling is not appropriate or considerate and will be not tolerated in our family. It's not okay to call someone fat, ugly, whatever. Stop it or she will continue to say ugly things to you and to others. You are allowing her to treat you that way and the bottom line is that you shouldn't.
Would you allow her to say that to someone else? in the grocery store? in church? at school? a friend? or a relative? So why do you allow her to say it to you?
It is disrespectful and downright rude.



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