ok, my son is five years old... i was told i could not have children (cancer) i had him when i was 31 HE HAS BEEN WITH ME 24 HOURS ADAY! HE HAS "NEVER" HAD A BABY SITTER, AND HS NEVER BEEN WITHOUT ME ONCE, he is not the problem, i am.. i am so afraid something will happened to him, he's strong, speaks his mind, "very smart for his age" but i do not know how to let go!!! i will not even let, his grand parents take him to NH for three days!!! what do i do? How do i start to let go? Please anyone.. Tara
How about starting with a play date? You must have friends with similarly aged children from church or in the neighborhood. Or for library reading time, where you can go to a different part of the library but he is in the same building and well supervised.
You're right to start giving him (and yourself) some alone time now, because kindergarten is going to be a big change his fall.
Good Morning Magnetmom, Where i had my son at 31, all my friends children are teenagers, i don't know what to do. I know he has to go to school, and he real wants to... I just never have been with out him. Like i said, my doctors said i would never be able to have children (due to my cancer) so everyone was shocked when i did... and i think of my little man, as a miracle.. i know it strane, and i know nothing will happen to him but, now i was just giving medication for panic attacks, and most people but their child new cloths and pack backs for school, im so bad i bought a gps that i can put in this jacket or packback, so i can go on line and locate jim any time. Thanks for your feedback.. I will try to meet some parents in the neighborhood and do a play date, before i have to let my little man go. :)71169
When I had my first son, I felt like someone had taken a part of my heart and sewed it to my forehead so that it was exposed and vulnerable to the whole world. The first time I took him to daycare (had no choice because I had to work), I almost hyperventilated in my car.... and the daycare was only an elevator ride away from my office. My advice is: take baby steps. A 3 day trip to NH is a giant leap if you haven't even left him with someone for a short while. Are your parents / in-laws local? Maybe try taking him to their place (or having them come to yours) and then take a walk around the block. If you feel comfortable, maybe you could run an errand. Then work yourself up to being away for a few hours. You don't have to go far.
Also, spend some time at his new school. Maybe the two of you could play on the playground, meet his new teacher, or even just have lunch in your car in the parking lot. The more time you spend there, the more comfortable you will be. I did that (am still doing it) with my kids' daycare/preschool. For example, I breastfed for 16 months and used it as an opportunity to come into the room and sit to observe the teachers and the class for extended periods of time. I learned a LOT that way. Now that he is older, I dawdle when I drop off his stuff, insist on chaperoning field trips, and sometimes I hover in the parking lot (in a well-timed, un-obvious way) if they are going on a walking trip. Good luck! It will be hard and you will think you will never get over it, but I promise you will. The first day is the WORST. The entire first week is bad, but then you will see that the next week is not as bad as the first and it gets better from there. 71513
DEAR TARA. you are conscious that the problem is YOURSELF. Then your need a little help professional by a psychologist,and be slowly with your boy. let him 1 hour with a friend, the next day 2 hours , the 3 day 3 hours with his grandparents or relatives. wacht his reactions and take yours decisions. good luck 71521
Hi VinnysDolly. I totally understand your anxiety and fears. All of us parents have these feelings just varying in degrees. One of the very best ways to ease your mind about him going to school is to get right on in there and volunteer all you want. You can get to know the teachers he will interact with and be able to spend time in the room with your son. kindergarten teachers always need volunteers to read to the kids, take them to the library and go on field trips. You could even offer to be a room mother although my daughters teacher last year didn't have one. While you help at school it will help you get familiar with not only his teachers but all of the school staff. My daughter hasn't ever had a babysitter and has only stayed with my parents and his parents that are about 2 1/2 miles from my house. I understand you're not trusting anyone with your baby! One of the most important things is to not let your son know about your anxieties because it could make him very fearful to leave you. Since he hasn't been without you he just might get upset when you go to leave him at school and this is when you need to be at your very strongest. If he sees you are upset it will make matters much worse for both of you. Save the release of your feelings for the car after you have successfully dropped him off. After your first day it will get easier and easier and you will begin to love having time for yourself again!!!! I send you strength and love. Please let us know how it goes for you. Be strong. : )71533
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