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Feeling lost in all the Parent cliques at my son's elementary school.


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Audra421 March 26, 2013


I am a single mom to my 8-year-old son. I am not only my son's mom but also do the role of dad, have since the day he was born. He is in the 2nd grade and a great kid and student. However, I don't feel that I fit in with any of the groups of parents at his school. This is harder then when I was in school trying to fit in. But now it's not just me suffering it's my son as well. Because he doesn't have any friends over nor does he go to any friends house. I am totally lost and have NO idea what to do.

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MagnetMom March 26, 2013


Hi Audra421, and welcome to the GreatSchools Parent Community.

First off, you must hear this: You are not alone. GreatSchools just wrote an article about this very subject and it was the most commented on article they've ever done. It's here: http://www.greatschools.org/parenting/social-skills/7260-parent-cliques-school.gs

Secondly, don't try to befriend the entire school or the entire neighborhood at once. Try maybe a friend from church, or from boy scouts, first, and get involved there. You might want to volunteer in the classroom rather than try to get involved in the school in a big way. Also talk to your son's teacher and see if there is a friend he can be paired up with until he gets closer with other kids.

Good luck, and let us know what happens.

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MomofJack April 29, 2013


Hi Audra! I never fit into my son's school since it is Newport Beach California, one of the most fake and materialistic places on earth! I grew up in Ohio and had no implants or botox. I would recommend you volunteer to help within your child's class, that is how I started to make friends. As I made more friends, being my true self, so did my son Jack with my friends children. Just know , if you love yourself others will love you. If you ever need a friend, I would be happy to talk with you and send you my email or phone number. Being a mom is the coolest job, so embrace it and share your love for your child at the school. Making friends will naturally happen there.

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TeggerWard April 29, 2013


I am also a single mom to an 8 year old. We switched schools this year and did not know anyone at the school. It takes time. You won't fit in with everyone. Some schools it is probably harder than others to make friends but ask your son if there is a child he likes and would like to have over for a play date. Call that parent and invite them over or to meet you at a park. Schools always have fundraisers, volunteer with the fundraising group, the work you do usually doesn't have to be during the day.

I'll say this school is like the last and I am one of the only single parents. Honestly you may feel you don't fit in because your not married, in my experience not too many people judge me because of that, I still make friends. No, I don't get invited to couples dinner parties, but I have still managed to make friend, but like I said it takes time.

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TeacherParent May 19, 2013


Are you the only single mother in the class? That's usually not the case but you can ask the teacher to suggest some children in his class that she thinks might make good playmates for your son.
We found to build school friendships for our son we had to do the inviting - it was usually to come over on a Friday after school to play and have pizza. My husband and I were older than many of the other parents and we didn't fit in but families seemed happy to accept a Friday afternoon playdate. Often I'd write a note and ask the teacher to put in the other child's lunchbox but in the days of emails, I'd just send an e-mail to the other parent.
Asking two children often worked better than just just asking one and renting an acceptable movie for kids along with the pizza was an extra treat.
Good luck.



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