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Child failed out of college,first semester, HELP!!


Anonymous January 2, 2009

My child has just failed his first semester in college, away from home. He has the ability, although mildly motivated. It seems like he skipped many classes and assignments. I had an incling there was a problem and visited the small school about a month and a half ago. Professors said my child missed many classes. My child also admits to socializing too much with his new freedom. It appears as if drigs/alcohol are not an issue.
I'm lost as what to do. We drove up today to empty his dorm room, it was so sad.
I work in a school and deal with these issues alot but when it becomes personal.I feel lost.
The plan is to maybe enroll him in a community college, bring up his grades, and he'd like very much to try to re-enter the college that dismissed him, or enroll him in a local branch of a larger university for now. This local branch is not a large school.
Any suggestions, please!!

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Fab415 January 14, 2013

I struggle to write this As am in disbelief that I face a similar situation.
But I need help and advice from experienced parents before I lose my mind.

My soon a 4 yr high school athlete star in 2 sports has always faced organization and time mgmt issues but only got 1 d his entire 4 yrs and mainly got a 2.7-3.5 in college prep courses.

He started at a local JC (comm. college) living at home and played football, he got a 3.0 in the fall.
The spring semester he got all F 's and didn't know why.
There was no explanation and he seemed amazed.
The summer he got all a's in health training classes and this fall he played college football again but got all F s.
when questioned about the bad grades he is amazed and can't believe it.
After the first failed semester he was grounded, and we checked in weekly to ask about school. He always said everything is great!!

How can someone be so unaware??

The sad thing is he is a awesome son, no drugs no hanging out no drinking no girlfriend. Just sports and working out.
Should I have him checked for brain trauma or a mental disability?
How can someone regress or get dumber?
My husband and I live our lives around our kids and their activities.
We sit ea night with them from elementary through high school to do homework . We are both college grads and pretty smart.

What did I do wrong?
Please help!


noemisita January 22, 2013

My son has completed 1.5 years of his college education. No matter what school they go to, they need to know they are not little children anymore. The thing that helped me with him is not to treat him like a kid, but like a grown man. I gave him a very good speech about "man up". He asked many questions and we spent hours talking about what it means. Now, I am a single mother of two children, and no matter how frustrating it is to be a parent at times, we cannot give up on our children. Once a child reaches certain age he/she should know that they should start making plans to move out and became independent, it is for their own good. Well my son knew he was no going to live at home anymore, but I was going to be there to support and guidence. WE cannot make excuses for them in anyway and need to treat them like adults. I learned to give my son a list of expectations and datelines. The first semester seemed like a game to him, but the second semester he got the same speech and more strict expectations, even no more support out of me if at least 90% of expectations weren't met ... sure enought, he made me proud. He is working and going to school, not to mention he is getting better grades every semester. I oversee his schedule and school expenses, just to guide him and see how can I help. Could be books or tuition, but must of all he takes full responsability on his expenses. He knows that managing his school finances is a part of "man up". Today, he surprised me with something I have asked him to do, join a gym. I conveyed to him that Exercise helps on decison making and to get better grades. Well, he did joined the gym, even though he had already improved in behavior and grades, and he will pay it all by himself. So parents, do not give up and be FIRM, do NO BABY the child. They are not children anymore, I know is not easy, but Will only take few pulls and speeches to get them where you want them to be.

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