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I caught my daughter lying about her age with a myspace page and did my best to "shut her down" by standing over her and making her delete her profile, etc, but I know she has a facebook now, too. I completely disapprove of the photo she is using and I can't access her profile to see what else she has on there because it's "private" and I have to be invited in. Anyone else deal with this?
This topic came up very recently here. http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/219112/Is-your-teen-on-YEAR-BOOK?csort=old#comments
You can't control your daughter's every move, but you can definitely monitor her usage while she's at home. Make her give you her password and add you as a friend. If her computer is in her room, move it to a more public area, like the living room or kitchen. Read through the other discussion for more suggestions. The bottom line is that it's a safety issue-- not a privacy issue. Good luck!14273
Was she lying about her age because she is under 14? If she is under 14 you can't make a profile unless you lie and state that you are 14..a fact they will never check up on. Many 13 year olds do this to get on and have a profile.14272
Here are a few sites that might help you get to the bottom of her computer activities. http://www.getnetwise.org/ http://www.netsmartz.org/ http://www.filterreview.com/ http://www.benetsafe.org/ http://www.connectwithyourkids.org/
Our State Attorney Generals office has really stepped up to the issues that involve our children on the web. I'm a few short years away from having to educate myself on this very topic - It's right up there with educating oneself about learning disabilities I think. Ongoing, demanding our full attention, & very scary to think what could happen if you ignore it! Like I said just like LD's... Good luck.14269
I also have a 15 year lod son, but he is on www.myyearbook.com....but, thanks to these wonderful. people on this sight i finally, quit panicing......ON THE OTHER HAND, I DON"T HAVE A GIRL (YEA)......my son...didn't have the smart's to have his password deleted, he keeps it logged in so, when he goes to bed--i check it.....i really ..don't know how to help you...BUT i can tell,...THESE LADIES HERE KNOW THEIR STUFF.....they have been a life saver to me.....laura14268
ALL I CAN DO IS TELL YOU HOW I HANDLE THIS IN OUR HOME AND IT WORKS :}} FIRST WE OWN 1 COMPUTER .IT IS IS IN OUR DINING ROOM.EVERYONE CALLS IT MOM'S COMPUTER B/C IT IS :) ANYONE IN THIS FAMILY THAT USES IT HAS TO OBEY MY COMPUTER RULES OR THEY LOSE THE RIGHT TO USE MY COMPUTER.I SET UP THEIR ON PLACE THEY HAVE TO LOG ON TO.I GIVE THEM THAT PASSWORD ,SO FIRST OFF THEY CAN'T GET ON UNLESS I GIVE THEM THE PASSWORD TO EVEN GET TO THEIR INTERNET..I DO CHANGE IT OFTEN. THEY NEVER ARE ALLOWED TO DELETE ANY HISTORY FROM THE COMPUTER ,I DO THAT ...1 RULE IS ~ IF YOUR ON MYSPACE/FACE BOOK I MUST BE YOUR #1 FRIEND. ALL COMMENTS AND FRIENDS MUST BE DISPLAYED (THERE ARE CODES TO HIDE THEM ) NO FRIEND CAN BE ADDED THAT IS NOT LOCAL .I MUST BE ABLE TO TALK WITH SAID FRIEND AND OR PARENT .(I HAVE HAD TO DO SO) I LIMIT FRIENDS TO 50 NO MORE THAN 50 .THAT INCLUDES FAMILY AS WELL.I'M NOT INTO THEM HAVING 100 TO 700 FRIENDS ON THE COMPUTER.. MY CHILDREN HAVE A GMAIL OR YAHOO ACC. AS WELL .I MUST HAVE ALL USER NAMES AND PASSWORDS TO EVERYTHING. IF NOT THEY HAVE TO CLOSE IT DOWN NO ?'S ASKED.I DON'T GIVE THEM THE OPTION TO ? MY RULES .IT IS SIMPLE FOLLOW THEM OR LOSE COMPUTER USE.AS FAR AS MYSPACE IS CONCERNED YOU CAN E-MAIL TOM(THE OWNER) AND HE WILL CLOSE DOWN YOUR CHILDS SITE AT YOUR REQUEST.ALSO BEWARE OF PHOTO'S ON YOUR CHILDS SITE.I MAKE MY SON'S SET ALL PHOTO'S TO PRIVATE..TO MANY PERVERTS ONLINE THAT TAKE PHOTOS AND PLACE THEM ON OTHER SITES YOU DON'T WISH TO EVER SEE YOUR CHILDS PIC ON. KEY TO THIS IS ~ YOU ARE THE PARENT AND A COMPUTER IS NOT A MUST HAVE..I USE IT AS A PUNISHMENT .AND IT IS VERY HELPFUL AS MOST KIDS TODAY FEEL LIKE A COMPUTER IS A PART OF THEIR BODY ,SAME WITH A CELL PHONE.THE 2 SINGLE BEST FORMS OF PUNISHMENT IN MY HOME :) TO SEE IN YOUR ? I CAN'T ACCESS HER PROFILE IS THE FIRST AND BIGGEST PROBEM YOUR HAVING .. SHE'S CONTROLING YOU NOT YOU CONTROLING HER ,BIG MISTAKE......................... SHE CAN DO WHAT YOU ALLOW HER TO DO.. BE AWARE SHE CAN MAKE A FAKE MYSPACE TOO.IF YOU PLACE THE COMPUTER IN THE DINING ROOM ,DEN OR LIVING ROOM YOU CAN WALK UP AT ANYTIME (AND I DO) MY SONS AREN'T ALLOWED TO DELETE ANY THING FROM THEIR MYSPACE ACCOUNT .I SEE WHAT THEIR FRIENDS SEND AND WHAT THEY SEND TO THEIR FRIENDS... ONE MORE THING ~ I DON'T ALLOW ANYTYPE OF CHATTING ON MY COMPUTER NOT MYSAPCE IM,MSN,WINDOWS ,AIM NO CHATTING AT ALL.I FEEL I'M HELPING THEM NOT REALLY CONTROLING THEM BUT WHATEVER AGAIN MY HOUSE THEIR HOME ,MY COMPUTER ,MY RULES. HOPE I HELPED ..SHE WILL BE MAD AT FIRST IF YOU DO TAKE MY ADVISE BUT I PROMISE SHE'LL GET OVER IT.SAME WITH THEIR CELL .NO DELETING MISSED CALLS ,DAILED CALLS OR VOICE MAIL AND YEP I HAVE THAT PASSWORD.AND I HAVE BLOCKED ALL TEXT MESS.I CAN GO ON VERIZON 24/7 AND SEE WHO,THE PH # AND WHEN A CALL FROM THERE PH WAS PLACED..THIS WORLD TODAY IS NOT LIKE IT USED TO BE AND WE MUST KEEP UP WITH WHAT OUR CHILDREN ARE DOING .SAD BUT TO MANY BAD PEOPLE OUT THERE .. BE BLESSED, ANDI14267
How old is your daughter? Mine is 12 ( 7th grade) and some of her friends had a myspace since 5th grade. I do not allow myspace of facebook in my house. Solution? Go in your daughters computer and block anything that you are not ok with and most importantly explain to her why you are not ok with it. I told my daughter that being all over the internet will invite cyber bullying, predators and adults pretending to be children. I am really outraged that parents don't realize that the youngest age you can put on your myspace profile is 15!!!! So , if you are under 15 you have no business in the first place being on there. I also don't allow chat rooms. Club Penguin is about the only site I am ok with. With supervision of course. We also set the computer to not being able to be accessed by my daughter between the hours of 8pm and 6 am. I know the internet is so prevalent in all of our life's but I think there should be strict guidelines and consequences for not following them. So maybe no computer for a month and see if she will go against your computer rules again. Good luck!!14266
I am like the other mom, my house, my rules. I am also on MySpace as are both my girls and the rules are simple, I get to see EVERYTHING! I set the passwords, I can go in anytime and change them, delete them or modify their accounts. This goes for everything, email, instant messaging, the works. I clean up the computers, I decide what needs to be deleted and the first time they are caught trying to hide anything, delete things they lose their privilages. Ask my oldest, she was banned for poor grades in school, so she lost computer privilages. So what did she do, accessed it at school and then sent me an email. Needless to say she lost them for another month and I went in and changed all her passwords. One thing I am very clear about with my children is who is in charge in my home. I see their friends on line and have to wonder if the other parents have any clue what their kids are doing on line.
Take charge now, she lives in your house, it's your rules. Put the computer in a public room where you can watch her and if she doesn't like it then take it away completely after you get her passwords and either change them or delete them.
I understand teenagers need to have some secrets but not on line, this is a battle worth fighting and winning.14265
I have 2 boys who are in their older teens and they spend every spare moment on the computer. I'm not worried about them doing anything foolish when it comes to having email accounts. Of course with girls it's different. Especially teenaged girls. The best thing you can do is sit down with her and talk to her in depth about every possible risk of giving out any information on the computer without your consent. The best defense is to let them know just how dangerous it is. If they're scared enough maybe they'll think twice before giving out personal information. Always give her high praise when she does something responsible and tell her you're proud of her. Your opinion means much more to her than her friends'!14264
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