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Don't know where to turn


atfuni September 22, 2012

Maybe someone can help me. My 16 year old daughter and I have lost each other. I'm devastated. It's a terribly ugly divorce and I need some help. I need to get her back in my life. I thought there were areas on your website that I could talk to other parents with similar concerns. Could you please direct me to that area. Thank you.

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scholarships September 23, 2012

Hello atfuni. I don't know this site well so I don't know if there is a place on it for discussion about these issues. Your post makes me wonder if your daughter knows you want to reconnect with her. I don't know anything about your situation or what you mean exactly by losing each other since that could mean many things. You may be living under the same roof but are in conflict or she may be living with the other parent entirely. Something that is usually helpful regardless of the situation is for a parent to communicate the desire to remain connected regardless of what happens-by using non confrontative and non--demanding ways to do that (like cards without expecting one back, for example). but the best thing you could do is access help in your own community since I am sure you could use some support in addition to advice. One place you can start to access that kind of help is the school's guidance counselor or the school social worker or psychologist-they will at least know about resources in your area if they can't offer you more. Remember, even though you may feel alone, you are in good company since divorce, even bad divorce, is very common. So, schools have dealt with hundreds of similar situations and they know where help is located. Some schools have groups like Banana Splits for parents and kids but some just have good referral services. Be open to accepting their advice. Good luck.

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