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Is my 13yo having sex?
Anonymous March 28, 2009
I found my daughters cell phone going off in the middle of the night. Instead of just turning it off like normal, I decided to take a look at the message coming in (because of a gut feeling) and found multiple messages from a boy asking my daughter to have sex with him. I know she has not yet become sexually active but it worries me that she has boys pressuring her so hard and continuously that she may finally give in. I am doing everything in my power to make sure she is not ever in a situation that would put her at risk for this. However I am also aware that I can not be with her 24/7. My first question would be if anyone had some advice to give me to help detour these boys to leave her alone. My second would be, what he is doing, could that be considered sexual harrassment and is there anything I can do about this?
jagjennieg March 28, 2009
As a nurse, my suggestions are : Take away the cell phone. Make an appointment for a full checkup with a doctor. Don't tell her, just make the appt., pick her up and tell her when you get there. GET THAT PHONE NUMBER & NAME OF THAT BOY. Meet with or call his parent/parents. Believe me, embarrassment for a teenage is enough to make them stear clear. Make it known to your daughter, him AND his parents that you know what the "situation" is including the phone calls etc. Don't be "nice". He's wanting to have sex w/ your daughter! Tell the kids that you might even let their teachers and the principal at the school know of this. (He'll run!) Be supportive to her, but firm. I have actually had mothers bring their young daughters to the labor and delivery ward to let them hear mom's in labor. Believe me, it's an eye opener. Be completely honest, almost graphic about diseases, pregnancy, labor and delivery etc. Parents are so worried these days about making their kids mad. She'll get over it. You will be glad in the long run. Instill the "honesty is the best policy" and STICK WITH IT. Don't give in. If she is to gain your trust, she's got to EARN IT. The cell phone is a place to start. Best wishes to you . Anyone that is ugly about it to you has no right. EACH child is different. Don't worry about negative people and comments. It's not worth your time. You are reaching out for help! Now just act on it! Good luck!24064
