My son is 12 years old. After repeatidly asking his teacher to go to the rest room for 2 hours.,He was denied. He ended up having a bad stomach virus and was afraid to leave the room, thought he would get in trouble.Well it happened and he couldn't hold it anymore . He is such a good kid and he wants to move away now .My husband and I are devastated that this happened to him at school. I cry everytime I look in his eyes and can feel his pain. Parents are calling us that heard about it saying this was criminal.We should sue . We should call the newspaper . Do anything so another child will not have to go through this. Kids can be so mean and hurtful. I was wondering if anyone had any advice.
This is appauling , have you talked to the teacher and principle about this? I would tell my kid to just walk out of class and go poty- if he got in trouble for this so be it , IVE FOUND if i go straight to the principle things change for my kid.
and the trauma of this on your son has got to be horrible-- i think i myself would seriously consider homeschooling on this one , sorry your family is having to go thru this , hang in there.37491
THIS SOUNDS LIKE THE TYPES OF TORTURE TREATMENTS THAT WERE USED IN THE CONCENTRATION CAMPS AND WHO DOES THE TEACHER THINK SHE IS! YOU DEFINITELY SHOULD SEE A LAWYER BECAUSE THAT IS SO TERRIBLE AND I DO HOPE YOUR SON GETS THROUGH THE TRAUMA OF THE WHOLE ORDEAL. CAN YOU NAME THE SCHOOL FOR US THAT HAVE CHILDREN THAT WILL BE TURNING 12 SOON?37501
Even if he wants to leave the school, I don't know that pulling him out and homeschooling him or transferring him to another school will help matters. I would make a major decision to do with his education based on the merits of that education alone (what is in his best interest in the long term academically), even though I know that peer power is very strong at this age. Regardless, I don't think I would let my child have this be his defining moment in life, and while I would want to be supportive of him and take action to make sure it doesn't happen to others, I wonder that a lawsuit will help matters with him at school. Even if you had a legal right, and even if you could win, does it really make sense to make the school district pay for the action of one of its teachers? As for the child's embarrassment: Accidents will happen, especially when a stomach virus is involved. Since it wasn't his fault, I don't think that he should accept shame for it. Shame is something he has to accept for it to make him feel bad. Even adults have had accidents (whether they would ever admit it or not), and by the end of our lives, we will all be pooping on ourselves. Looking at the bigger picture might not help him now, but learning to deal with this situation will make him a stronger person.37505
I'm so sorry your son had this experience. When I was in school, a teacher did not allow a boy classmate of mine to go to the restroom because he asked to go repeatedly. The teacher thought that the child was misbehaving (although this child was not a troublemaker) and said no after the second time. The boy ended up urinating at his desk. We found out later that my classmate had diabetes. I don't know what happened to the teacher. In my opinion he should have been suspended without pay and required to attend a workshop on childhood behavior.
You and your husband are your son's BEST advocate. It is unfortunate that your son is now being treated cruelly by his classmates. Possibly the teacher or head of school can work that situation out for you? However, your son is relying on you and looking to you to do something for him. Advice is always easy to give, but this is what I would do; tell everyone and anybody with authority that will listen to your story about what happened. If nothing comes from it, so be it, but your son will learn a valuable lesson that you are there for him, no matter what. The classmates faces and names will pass over time (I don't even remember my classmate's name, but I do remember the teacher's name and how my mom responded when she heard my story), but you will always be his parents. The best of luck and patience can offer.37513
First of all, I'm completely appalled that a teacher would be so cruel to a child. I wouldn't sue the school system, times are tough as it is for them with the economy, and that would only hurt the rest of the schools. I hope you pressed charges against the teacher for cruelty or abuse. Maybe the teacher lost track of time, I don't know, but there's no excuse for treating a child that way. Nothing could have been that important that she couldn't have allowed your son to quietly excuse himself from the room for a few minutes. As embarrassing as it is for your son, it could have happened to any one of his classmates. I know that's not much consolation. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
This certainly gives me something to discuss with my children about how to handle situations in school. I want my children to understand they have basic human rights (potty breaks, food/drink, to be treated respectfully, if they are sick they can go to the nurse, to call me if necessary to mediate, etc.). And if the teacher fails to respect their rights it's wrong and needs to be reported. I'm going to explain to my kids that in an emergency situation like your son's, I want them tell the teacher they are sorry, but they can't wait any longer and then leave the classroom quietly, go to the restroom and return back to class quickly. We'll deal with the consequences later and I will support them. Children don't understand they have rights unless we teach them. I understand this probably sounds good in theory and might not play out that way, but at least telling them they have rights and teaching good decision making skills is a step in the right direction. Thankfully we have websites like this where we can learn from other people's situations. Things we'd never think would happen otherwise.37519
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