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student denied restroom traumatizing outcome!


dspike December 18, 2009

My son is 12 years old. After repeatidly asking his teacher to go to the rest room for 2 hours.,He was denied. He ended up having a bad stomach virus and was afraid to leave the room, thought he would get in trouble.Well it happened and he couldn't hold it anymore . He is such a good kid and he wants to move away now .My husband and I are devastated that this happened to him at school. I cry everytime I look in his eyes and can feel his pain. Parents are calling us that heard about it saying this was criminal.We should sue . We should call the newspaper . Do anything so another child will not have to go through this. Kids can be so mean and hurtful. I was wondering if anyone had any advice.

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nap2003 January 13, 2010

I am so SORRY this happened. I understand your pain as we had a similar (although not so appaling) situation. I know it is hard to believe but this does happen. My son was in Pre-K last year and he told me he had to go to the bathroom and the teacher wouldn't let him. I spoke with the teacher. I understand how Pre-K teachers can be overwhelmed by students always asking to go and the difficulty of discerning the real needs from the "I'm just bored and want to go for a walk" requests. But my son is very honest and gentle and he told me how long he had to hold it. My heart broke. What fear and confusion he must have felt. The last post offers wonderful advice. I took that opportunity to tell him his rights. I told him that if it ever happens again, he should tell the teacher that "my mommy says that I should go if I have to". I told him he would never get in trouble for doing something he needs to do. This post is a good reminder to reinforce that message. BTW: after the first incident, he told me how it happend again during a movie in the summer. The teacher told the child to wait and he had an accident. My son proudly repeated my message to me that day...he felt so bad for his friend and said he knew better and that he would have gone. It still breaks my heart. I wish I could help more. Good luck to you.


cyn_cyn January 15, 2010

I am so sorry that ur child had to go through this. I myself would consider homeschooling. you know this is gonna scar your child emotionally for a long time...I would contact the principal and the board of education. Dont let this bully get away with it. You'd think they would know better but dont. Good luck to you all.


klydens January 21, 2010

Its disturbing to know such Teachers exist... I think there is some great advice given here. I just wanted to add something that may help-it may not-but i thought i would mention this. I think the Teacher should have to Publicly apologize to your son in front of the whole class and tell the class that the accident your son had was the teachers own fault and not your son's. Maybe this would help with any backlash your child is recieving from his classmates. Good Luck and God Bless!


jersey11 January 22, 2010

So sorry this happened. This is the age where I find myself harping on my kids about good decision-making but often run into teachers who seem to get blinded by their daily kid-induced chaotic world and end up making very poor choices. However, the incident happened, and he is not the only kid this happened to. He can learn from this and become a stronger person if you help him through it. My son had an accident similar to this on the bus, the difference is that there was nobody to blame... Your son needs to know that things like these happen and may happen to him again but he needs to lean how to handle them.
The teacher can also learn from this. She needs to know that she has put your son in a very bad predicament and that he needs help. Time for the teacher to fess up and introduce the classroom or entire grade to a life lesson. She should start out by telling the kids that she used poor judgement and teach the kids how to deal with such situations. Those who tease, have been teased or will be teased will all be adressed.
I agree with "publicidentity" on this one. A lawsuit will not help your child's self esteem or give him immunity from peer cruelty but your parenting can help your son become a strong and confident human being.


shogi1man January 30, 2010

I'm shocked that a teacher would ever do that to a child. A child has to go when a child has GO!!! Now, if the child has to go 5 times during a class period, then this becomes a problem. It could be physically or mentally, either way, the child would not learn a thing. A parent should be notified immediately.

I would give that teacher a piece of my mind, then report it to the Principal. I'm sorry to hear that any child has to go through that. What is the name of the school??? I WOULD FLUSH THEM OUT OF MY SYSTEM!!!


WendyleeC January 30, 2010

Unbelievable....I would sue in an instant. I doubt that he will ever be the same. I don't even know how to tell you any different but what kind of control do these people have? We fought to keep teachers from hitting kids with rulers so why are we still allowing them to be emotionally abused in other ways. I feel terrible for your son!! And if it were me, I would cry about it too. It hurts so bad when there is something we can't fix and the person who caused it should be feeling that pain. Good luck and let me know what happens...


Paula10000 February 3, 2010

Many of the teachers at my daughters' school give a certain amount of credits to the students which can be used for various privileges, including trips to the bathroom during class. They have the opportunity to earn credits throughout the year for various things. Maybe you could suggest this to the Principal at your school - that way, the bathroom breaks are controlled by both student and teacher.

Regarding a lawsuit - I guess you should ask yourself why you want to file one. Vengeance? Feeling out of control or guilty? Just want to get money? Need the "last word" on this for some sort of vindication? While I totally disagree with the teacher's decision not to let a child use the bathroom when it's really necessary, I don't think that it's all in her hands, either, especially for a 12 year old. Surely at some point, he could have just stood up for himself and made his need known. What possibly could have been worse for him than having that accident? Detention? Extra homework? A trip to the Principal's office? Any of those could have been dealt with later - presumably by him AND his parents once they found out what happened!

Talk to your child about choices, decisions, respect .... and self-respect. Had he been clear about those things, this may not have happened at all the way it did.


interestedone February 4, 2010

Sue the teacher. It's not bad


YvetteGau February 6, 2010

Hi dspike,

My child went through the same thing last year and bleed through her panties and clothing. She had to walk around school like that all day and was made fun of because of the stains.

I contacted her guidance counselor and reported the matter through an email. I was lied to by this counselor. This school main interest is not your child it is their reputation. Trust me, because of what my child has been forced to endure because we her parents reported an incident about a teacher to the principle and since last April, she has been set up by the school and punished for things that she didn't do.

Call D.S.S. on the school. If enough parents call Dept of Social Services on middle school they will have to investigate. This is cruelty to children.

Good luck, I'm taking my child out of this school soon.


ADJ3344 April 13, 2013

Well Jenlcaine's I see the media has warped your mind. Schools have more money than you and me put together. Do the math, how many people pay school taxes in your county? How much federal money is granted to the schools? when was the last time a school bond was paid for and your taxes reduced? where did all that money come from? Look at the schools, does it look like they tried to save money when they built it? the fact is the child was imprisoned in the classroom. I would sue the school and file a civil suit on the teacher herself. She had the power over your child because he or she is to young to understand her rights. She ABUSED her authority over your child, its your turn now. She has no right to be in control of children if she does not understand children have rights.

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