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should i let my 12 year old child date?


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lexy1232 September 21, 2010


shes begging me and all of her friends are allowed and she says im being unfair. what should i do?

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14veronicas October 31, 2010


I think that you should let her decide when she would like to date, otherwise she will go behind your back and start making out with all her guy friends. Two years ago I was twelve years old and i had my first "boyfriend", we didn't do anything outside of school, but it was nice to have someone that you could say you love and have them love you back. Age does not limit you to knowing about love or not because right now I am in love with two seventeen year olds. One of which is a senior, and the other is a junior. the junior is comforted with me liking him and he loves me, but is dating my cousin and her and i have NO issues. The senior, however, is making things difficult....he stopped talking to me for about two and a half months and just two days ago he included me in a hello just before we started our cabaret. So, i think that you should let your daughter date in whichever way she thinks is dating.. I do not mean to tell you how to raise your child or anything, but that is what I would do- it is my own personal opinion. Good luck.

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smithsalowjill October 31, 2010


NO! Forget what she says about ALL of her friends are dating. Your job as a parents is not to be fair or popular. It is to protect your children from sexual predators, from manipulative schoolmates who might take advantage of her, and to keep her focused on her schoolwork. Life isn't fair, and one day she will look back and realize you were right...and those classmates with the romantic inclinations...well, have her watch "16 and Pregnant" and see where it got them.

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faithwalker November 1, 2010


Here is a sad way to look at it lexy1232.... If several of her girlfriends end up pregnant, will she still want to follow the crowd? My best advice to teenagers in grade or high school, "Is to be a TRENDSETTER!" Always be your own person, be a leader and never a follower!

Teach her to be confident and secure, she has so much to look forward to in high school and college. Especially tell here to have fun! She can only enjoy this time of being a teenager once in a lifetime!

"Also remember, your the PARENT, SHE is the child."

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momofaaa November 1, 2010


You are the parent! Step up and be a parent. If you don't feel comfortable, then don't let her. I really doubt that all of her friends are allowed to date at 12, if so, maybe she needs new friends. If you still can't stand up to her, then offer to chaperone. Good Luck.

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pdwm56 November 1, 2010


No way!
Our daughters are 14 and 11 and I told our daughters when they too young to even think about dating that there would be no declared boyfriends until high school, no car dates until they can drive themselves and even then it will be on a case by case basis. You can always negotiate a priviledge to a younger age but it's very hard to negotiate up in age.
"Dating" at this age usually consists of texting, email and phone calls but this can often lead to real problems. 12 year olds are children and need to be allowed to embrace and celebrate being children. Get your child involved in sports, music, community service, theatre, cooking, reading, crafts anything that interests them EXCEPT boy/girl friends; that can wait.

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Gerry5 November 1, 2010


I feel 12 is too young to start dating and I have told my son this. It is funny that I am hearing Moms worried what the "boys" will do , when it seems to be the girls at my son's middle school starting all the dating drama. He won't admit it, but my son is relieved that I have said no to dating. I witnessed changes in my nieces' attitudes and dress when they were allowed to date this young, not good ones. Supervised group activities would be my suggestion if you feel you must compromise. But you are definatly opening up a box of, "What else can I make Mom give into ?".

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ShowTheDJ November 1, 2010


I think that twelve is too young to have a "boyfriend." However, I think some participants in this discussion are being slightly less than fair to preteens/teens. I'd like to remind everyone that you can't just shove all of us in one neat little package and tie us up with string. Especially at this age, maturity levels tend to vary greatly from person to person, and even can fluctuate for each individual. I'm turning fourteen soon, and while I still like dinosaurs and Disney movies, I've also had a summer job for the past three years. Having said that, I'll admit that certain people, boys and girls alike, can be irresponsible and immature. Girls who have a new "boyfriend" every week, and insist they "love them." Boys who only think of one thing. We are all different, and depending on the maturity level of your daughter, let her make her own decisions. But remind her that at this age, "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" are just labels.

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mommajadl November 1, 2010


12 is way to young to "Date". My daughter was just about to turn 14 when she had her first "Boyfriend". The only time she saw him was at school. She was so funny cuz when she was asked she told him that she had to ask her mom cuz she wasn't sure if she was allowed to have a boyfriend yet! I had a serious talk with her and told her that if she really liked him and she felt she was ready that it was ok. She can only see him at school or he can come over to our house and she must never go off alone with him (around a building) to be alone. Because even though she doesn't let him do anything with her he can get teased by friends and he will say that he did and her rep would be in the toilet and she could never get it back. She is 15 and I have made it a point to find something to talk about everyday. She comes home itching to talk to me about the latest things that happen to her in school. And yes even about the boys. I hope it lasts

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Student125 November 1, 2010


Nope, if you ask her friends' parents they probably have no idea what's going on. It might seem unfair to her right now, but with a relationship at this age it's not like it will actually last. Dating is supposed to be a commitment, that's not going to happen in middle school. And anyway, why are you asking our opinions? You're the parent and it should be up to you to say no.
And if you thinks it's okay, that's fine. She just has to learn the hard way about break ups. But if she starts dating now, she won't understand that one week relationships are not okay.

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VeraBT November 3, 2010


Date alone? No But to say my child has a healthy view of havung a boyfriend or girlfriend,,Absolutely...We did it as children and lets face it the world is changing,,,They all go through this stage and we can monitor what that entails as a parent,,,,



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