Dating should be the precursor for marriage....so IMHO it should be the beginning of a potentially SERIOUS commitment or not at all. That's practical safe advise. Why get hurt or hurt others for meaningless relationships?84096
so last year I was 12 and in 6th grade and my mom let me date (have a Boyfriend)my "jack" was my boyfriends name id say that it went ritty well last year until I broke up with him and now I really like this boy named Ben but I dident tell him that I like him yet who thinks I should tell him I like him? 84090
I know you think that 12 is too young to date but its just puupy love its never anything serious just talk to her its probably gonna be a two week relationship if not then you know that your daughter is mature and can handle a boyfriend and thats a good sign.83944
Well I am 12 myself too and I get where she is coming from. Now that she is twelve her hormones are practically bursting out of her resulting in wanting to explore dating and you not letting her or not knowing what to do may cause her to "hate" you don't worry it's just her mood swings. Plus all the peer pressure all her friends being allowed to date and not her just makes her feel left out. And probably date behind your back so it's best if you let her experiment. Now from most parent's point of view, trust me we get it you think we are too young to date yh yh but it's really unfair that you won't atleast let us try? I know you think something is going to happen but all really is holding hands hugging and kissing (no tongue) we know what boys want and we aren't going to give them. Anyway so I know, but you should let her date not one-on-one but gain her trust by being there but not barging in on their privacy and policing the "date" baby steps 83805
Honestly, Is your daughter wants to date let her but be careful. Some guys these days can be gentlemen and some aren't. Have her go on dates with chaperones. Don't make her feel neglected. No mattter what she's gonna date but, Atleast she asked for your permission..(:83231
Okay I know this is an old thread, and it's been up for three years so I don't know if anyone is still here. By now you're child is probably 15, so it's definitely a different story. However, I need to put my two-cents in for any parent that's going to read this in the future. First off, the definition of dating. I still remember being 12. I didn't tell my parents much, because I didn't want them sticking their nose in my business. I agree with the person that said "it's time to teach them about the birds and the bees." I agree. If she is interested in dating, telling her about safe dating is a good choice. Now, is dating just calling someone your boyfriend? When I was a kid people were calling each other "boyfriend and girlfriend" when they were 8, so I don't think that's the issue. The issue isn't even stealing a kiss or anything. Be honest, parents. When did.you have your first kiss? Most people have it in middle school, or 11-14. I think the real issue is drama, and sex. And yes, I've known 12 year olds to do so. So IMO 12 year olds shouldn't really go on "dates." I would never let my 12 year old to to her boyfriends house without adults. I probably wouldn't let her go to the movies with a boy unless there were other kids there too. But try to see it from her point of view. Oh, one more thing, if your 12 year old is growing hair, which is totally natural, she should be able to shave. I think it's ridiculous that you wouldn't let her shave, you're the reason she could be getting picked on in school. In any case, I know most of your children are now 15 so this doesn't affect you anymore. But I just needed to say this for people reading in the future.82873
I am not a fan of flat-out to kids just based on age on most topics, not just dating. It should be based on maturity, honesty and trust. My kids are triplets, 11 years old.
We have lived in some areas where lots of folks don't have much, w/the socioeconomic problems that go along with that. Sad to say, I know of multiple pregnancies at 12, and kids on birth control. A couple of the neighbor boys my son knows have been experimenting w/homosexual behavior (at 11 and 12). The father of one of my daughter's best friends is in prison for drug offenses.
I am a successful professional w/a good salary. I travel internationally, the kids have lived in Europe, Asia and several states in the U.S. If I were to act "better than others" where we now live and not let my children associate with those w/less, they would not have anyone to associate with.
We don't filter out what the kids learn, except in extremes... they won't be allowed to watch porn on late night TV, for example. They are not restricted on use of the Internet. But we monitor carefully what they are doing, and I am very honest with them about the potential negatives of the wrong choices. Honesty from them is non-negotiable.
The result, for us: If the kids they know make bad choices, my kids aren't a part of it. They tell me about it, knowing I will keep it in confidence, and I make adjustments at home to make sure I am watching from afar to make sure my kids aren't being influenced. I have one daughter that has never had below an A, is Talented and Gifted, is in ballet, has been published with both art and writing multiple times. All three are in various music and other programs outside of class. The closest they get to "bad stuff" on the Internet is anime that sometimes gets a little risque. None of my kids have ever even been accused of anything even close to breaking the law, none have gotten below a B in school. With all that goes on around them, they still are kids, in that they like age-appropriate cartoons, etc.
When my kids want to "date", if at 12 in a year or so, likely I will act like the stereotypical dad with the shotgun. This stuff is part of growing up, the peer pressure and hormones will happen whether I like it or not. I will know and will have met who they are dating, both genders(my son or daughters and their dates) will know what is acceptable behavior both from my perspective and in terms of potential consequences of noncompliance. I think this is much better than most other alternatives and it has worked for me so far. 82265
12 year olds are still very young and should be focused on school and dreaming of what colleges they want to get into. Teen dating leads to boys getting in girls pants, possible pregnancies, breakups, feelings of hurt and sadness when they have breakups. Don't you think it's better to teach them school is first priority and relationships distract kids from school work. Not to mention they aren't mature enough at this age to go through these emotions. I know I wasn't ready until my 20's. I started teaching my kids you can have relationships in college. This is the time your own your own and time to explore what dating is like. If they wait hopefully they will make better choices. I came from an area where everyone had boyfriends and girlfriends in 7th grade. I could have cared less about school. I was too boy crazy. I We started teaching our kids about college since before elementary school. Our rule about daring is they can date with group when they are 16. Have a boyfriend in college. Yes, 12 is way too young. They are still babies and do you want your baby making a baby? Not to mention catching sexually transmitted diseases like HIV. I took a bus with my sister when she was 14 and 15 to have abortions. This messed her up in her head for life. 82232
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