My son recently started a new Middle School. During the summer we had him go to a daycamp hoping that he would meet someone that was going to the same school. On the first day of school, he did run into another student from the summer time program. The only thing is that the other student happens to be a girl. When I asked him who he sat with for lunch, the answer has been the same, with the girl that he met during the summer. My husband is concerned because he would rather that he finds other boys to sit with instead of a girl. But I don't want to tell him that he can't sit with her either. I told my husband I would rather he sit with her instead of sit by himself. I'm sure he would make more friends in time. Thoughts?
Middle school is really hard enough without worrying what gender his friends are. If he's been in school less than a week, I'd take a deep breath and talk about anything BUT who he eats lunch with. What starts as two kids becomes four or eight and suddenly they have a whole group. But it takes time for those ice breakers in class to translate into the kids realizing who they recognize during breaks.
In fact my daughter has been at her new school for four weeks, and she knew one boy from her bowling league and one girl from her orchestra (but she's in 7th grade). I quietly hoped she'd run into him and have lunch with him or nutrition or anything--just so she had a friendly face during the day. In the end, she has eaten lunch with a girl from a couple of her classes. Sometimes she chooses to read her book, or work on homework, too.
Bottom line, give the poor guy time and if it doesn't bother him, he's fine.
I wouldn't worry about it. My oldest daughter was always friends with a mixed group of boys and girls from 4th grade on to now a Senior in high school. Your son's friend could just be one of those girls who prefers to have male friends. Nothing wrong with that. 80618
He had gotten into four "Accelerated" classes this year. Basically the majority of his required courses were accelerated. His only "regular" classes are P.E. and Computers, which was an elective. The girl that he made friends with are also in the same four accelerated classes. So they connect that way as well. I guess with the accelerated classes its a lot of the same kids that he sees that goes from one to the next. When I pick him up after school I am seeing him play with other boys. So when I told my husband that it seemed to alleviate any concerns that he may have had. He still hangs out with her. But as long as he has other friends that are boys I think my husband feels better.80619
My son is in 5th grade and one of his friends at school is a girl. They spend a lot of time together during aftercare. The important thing is that he has someone he feels comfortable spending time with! Friends come in all packages - I wouldn't tell him he can't sit with someone just because it happens to be a girl.
Since your son is new to this school, I would celebrate the fact that he has found someone he knows and isn't alone. School can be so isolating if you feel like you have no friends. In time, he will expand his circle, and hopefully keep this friend, too. Good luck.80621
I think you're right, I have to agree. Really one of my main concerns about switching him to a new school was him finding someone to connect with. And if it happens to be a girl that is in four of his classes, its ok. :-) After reading all of the responses there really wasn't any cause for concern at all.80622
The times has passed when boys and girls couldn't be just friends - in my long ago day girls and boy couldn't be just friends - if we tried to be, our peers would make so much of it that we'd give up and be friends in secret. In those days, boys were just friends with a girl were thought weak - girls weren't for being friends with.
But that's changed. Some boys would love to be in your son's position and be able to have a girl for a friend - some boys are still way too shy to be able to be friends with a girl. 80634
I guess my husband, sorry being kinda of an old school, kind of thinker was thinking that if he was seen as having a girl as a best friend that he was "weird". That it meant that other boys would look at him like, hm, why is he always hanging out with her? Or else might think, ohhhh they must "like, like" each other. When I talk with him I don't think its that kind of relationship. Just friends. But its been his first friendly face that he connected with. So guess he was just drawn to her that way. He has started making other friends. He just hasn't disconnected away from her which really isn't a horrible thing.80645
Thank you. You've successfully subscribed to the GreatSchools newsletter.
Thank you. Please confirm your subscription by clicking the link in the email we just sent you.
Sign Up For Email Updates
Please enter your email address to sign up.
The email address is already signed up.
Connect With Us
Our mission is to inspire and support families to champion
their children's education - at school, at home and in their community. We are a national
non-profit based in Oakland, CA with programs and offices in Milwaukee, Washington D.C. and
Sign in with an existing GreatSchools account or using Facebook:
Forgot your password?
Thank you for submitting a review
Your review has been posted to GreatSchools.
Thank you for submitting a review
Welcome to GreatSchools!
Complete your school's profile
For principals and school officials, we offer a special Enhanced School Profile (ESP) which allows you to update and add information about your school, as well as respond to reviews. If you are a school official, click Continue to start.
Thank you for submitting a comment
Please note that it can take up to 48 hours for your comment to be posted to our site. While you're here, we'd like to invite you to fill out a
survey on your school's programs, activities, and extracurriculars. It only takes a few minutes and will help parents get a full picture of your school.
You may only compare 8 schools at a time
Continue to compare the schools you have already selected or
Edit schools to change your selection.
Get started now! You have successfully registered and can now start updating your Official School Profile.
The information you provide is extremely valuable in helping parents and students learn more about your
school, so thanks for taking the time!
Your email needs to be verified
Oops! You haven't verified your email address yet.
To do so, please click on the link in the email we sent you.
Can't find the email? Click the button below to receive a new one.
Send me updates
Get timely updates for , including performance data and recently posted user reviews.