My daughter is 13 and in 7th grade. She has been having trouble with friends. The girls are not being very nice to her. My daughter goes to a private school and will be going to a public school for high school. I told it would be ok to go to public school in 8th grade. Maybe she will meet more friend. There are only 4 other girls in her whole class. Do you think she should go to public school or private? She is having a hard time making a decision because she feel like she will miss her 8th grade graduation at her school she has been at since she was little.
First I want to say that I am so sorry that your daughter is going through a rough time. Unfortunately it is very common among middle school girls to be nasty. My suggestion is that you read the book "Queen Bees and Wanna Bees" (This book inspired the movie "Mean Girls )and share parts of it with your daughter. She has to understand that this nasty behavior has nothing to do with her. This will give her more power and make her realize that she is not alone. If she is attached to the school and wants to finish up there that is okay. Maybe you can get her involved in different afterschool/ summer camp actiivities so that she could make other friends. Most girls would have trouble making friends if there were only four girls to choose from because these girls more than likely stick together in a clique and will not allow anyone else in. This has to do more with insecurity than anything else. You can also look into a sport that maybe she could play when she gets to High School. If she starts playing the sport now she might really shine when she gets to High School and this would also give her a chance to make more friends. Once your daughter makes friends outside of the school she will have those friendships to look forward and will not need to bond with these girls.83197
I think going to public school for the 8th grade may be a good idea. There will be a larger group of girls to become friends with. If she is going to go to public high school she will be spending the year with the kids (and in the system) that she will encounter in 9th grade. My daughter's elementary school grade had very few girls in it. Socially it was very difficult. I cannot imagine what having only 4 other girls is like! My daughter is in middle school now, where there are A LOT of girls and groups to choose from. I understand her thinking about graduation, but I'm sure the public school will have nice trip/celebration etc for their 8th grade class as well.83246
We were in the same boat, but my son was going into 6th. His private school had about 12 boys in his grade. It was a social mess and moving him to a new public school was the best thing we did. His education was superior, he had a chance to get involved with music and sports and made new friends that HE PICKED rather than being picked for him. Private school was a pecking order situation and he wanted nothing to do with it. My once social and sweet kid was miserable so out we went.
8th grade should be a happy time with friends and fun. If she starts somewhere new, she can reinvent herself and have new friends to move on to high school with. Good luck!83258
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