By GreatSchools Staff
“As parents, what we want to say is, ‘That’s not true!’ because it's painful for us to think that people hate our child — and it's painful that our child thinks someone hates them," says parent coach and psychologist Erica Reischer. "So we want to fix it — it’s a very strong impulse. But we have to hold ourselves back because if we do that, we inadvertently send the message that those feelings are bad, that maybe they can't handle those feelings, and most importantly, it doesn’t give them the opportunity to develop coping skills. So what do you do?
"Starting with empathy is the most important thing. You say something like, ‘Oh sweetie, I know you feel like everyone hates you. Gosh, that’s really painful.’ Then you go from validation to curiosity. I call this the Colombo approach, where you say, ‘Well, why? Why do you think that?’ Ask a lot of questions to lead them through the thought process, so that they can own their own feeling of, ‘Oh, you know what? I don’t think that is really true. They weren’t really running away from me. There was another game and they didn’t see me.’ If they come to that conclusion on their own, they're much more likely to believe it. Also it helps them understand how to go through that process on their own.”
Want more? Find out how these 4 experts suggest dealing with your child's feelings of rejection.
Sign up for our free newsletter and we'll send you
more just like it every week.
Thank you! You will begin to receive newsletters from us shortly.
Thanks for verifying your updated email address.
Oops! That email verification link has expired. Please click the button below to receive a new one.
Create an account to submit your answers.
Sign in with an existing GreatSchools account or using Facebook:
Your review has been posted to GreatSchools.
Share with friends! Post your opinion of on Facebook.
Welcome to GreatSchools!
Thank you for registering as a school leader. We just need to verify your email address. We've sent you an email - please click on the link in that message to get started editing your school's information!
Thanks! We just sent you an email – please click on the link in the email to post your answers.
Get timely updates for , including performance data and recently posted user reviews.