"My 4 yr is hitting and when asked why he responds with because i did. Then
later on he'll say that he is getting hit. The teacher does not say what
they are doing when he hits just that he hits. I've spanked him and taken
away things. Last night for the 1st time trying made him stay in his room
all night fromm time we got home to the time his mom picked him up. We'll
see if he hits today.
"well first you need to teach him manners, you need to teach him that
hitting is unacceptable in school and that if he keeps on doing that put
him in time out and once he sees that hitting is not nice then you let him
play with other people and also tell him treat people the way you want to
be treated by keeping himself to himself and that's all you got to do!
"i also have a son in the same situation but he doesn't talk and behavioral
charts are of no interest to him. he is 8 years old and is 130 pounds. He
is very mellow at home but when he is at school he gets aggresive at
school. does anybody has any suggestions to what I should do. I need all
the help I can get.
"My son is three years old and we are having a problem with him hitting. I
have asked his teachers if they have noticed if any one thing is provoking
him and they have told me no that he is just hitting to hit. We have tried
several different things from taking toys away, time outs, no movies
(which he loves), rewards for when he has good days. Nothing seems to
work. He will go one maybe two days without hitting and then the rest of
the week he will hit or push several times throughout the day. The day
school has started putting him in a separate room as he makes a big fuss
when put in time out and disrupts the class. Any help or suggestion you
may be able to provide are greatly appreciated. "
"My four and 1/2 year old keeps hitting and sometimes kicking at daycare.
He's doing this not only to his 'friends', but the teacher. The daycare
is on the verge on kicking him out. We have tried talking to him (he's
very smart and has good communication skills, spanking him (a last resort)
and taking away TV and toys. Nothing seems to help for long. He wants to
be the boss and gets angry when he cannot. I am taking him to a
behavioral (?) or play therapist next week. I am at the end of my rope.
Any suggestions? "
"I have a question about a 2yr old boy I care for. I started taking care of
him at 16 months. He bites, hits and pulls the other children hair. He is
turning 2 know and he doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t bite any more but he is still hitting and
pulling hair. I have to shadow him consistently. I do distraction methods
and avoidance and time outs when he hurts the other children. I am
consistent with him. I give him love and affection and try to teach him ways
to express his frustration. I will give him lots of one on one time. Nothing
seems to work, he is not getting any better. He gets violent over all
situations itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not just localized to one. He acts out when frustrated
with his feelings, excited, happy, mad, upset, jealous, and bored. He also
hurt the others when he wants something from them. His parent are doing the
same work as I am to keep it consistent but nothing works. He also throws
huge fits when his parents pick him up and try to get him dressed. He will
hit them pull their hair and!
scream. He has now taken up hitting and pulling my hair when his parents
come. Can you please give me some advice on how to manage this situation. He
is a sweet little boy. I just need help to eliminate this behaviour.
Thank you for your time!
"What Dr. Lisa said is very true. I would highlight that young children
need to be taught how to control their emotions. It is normal for young
children, 0-8, not to be able to control their emotions.
Social-emotional control can be done taught explicitly. It often isn't
Teachers are very good about making goals for children. However, they
often fail to identify research based and developmentally appropriate
interventions/strategies or what they will do to support the child in
meeting the goal. A behavior chart is problematic when it only reports
behavior. This is like weighing ourselves but never addressing our diet,
excercise, stress and lifesytle.
We cannot only report behavior but choose systematic interventions,
identify who the key people are and what may trigger the behaviors.
Sometimes adults have unrealistic expectations of children.
Children can be taught through books, videos, modeling, clear
expectations, role-playing, puppets, and stories.
Children are not responsible for changing their own behavior."
"what if your child is hitting because he wants to get what the other child
has or he wants them to stop doing what they are doing."
"so your saying making a behavior chart will get him to understand more
what he is doing wrong.happy faces show he's doing good ,so he's rewarded
and sad faces show he needs to have toys or activities tooked away.and
does this really work and how long is the progress.
"my child he hits so he will go to school next year and i dont wont him to get in trouble about hitting.so how can stop him from hitting so he wont get in trouble.
"Another way to help a child keep his/her hands to themselves is by wearing a 'Don't Hit' Tee from Wear Your Manners. You can see the Tee at www.wearyourmanners.com. My son loves it and it really works!"
"My son is 4,and he is junior kindergarten. He is also experiencing the same behavior as the other mother has mentioned. He cannot keep his hands to himself. His teacher, has started this behavior book. But today when I picked him up, he not only pushed another male student. The student got hurt. And this is unacceptable. I have tried and explained that he needs to keep his hands to himself. He also knows, that if he misbehaves that he will lose not be able to play with his favorite toy. So I am not sure , if I should get an assessment done. If you could offer some ideas, that would be greatly appreciated.
"My child is autistic and in a blended classroom with other autistic children.One child has become increasingly aggressive and targeted negative physical behavior consistently toward my child. Despite meetings with the teachers,principal and special ed director for our school system the behavior continues. Yes I have even met with the child's mother. My child has sustained a facial injury with sustained scarring, a head injury that required a CT scan in a total of 14 incidents in three months. The aggressive child has been recommended placement at another facility however due to parental objection and the 'system' this has been nixed.Yet another incident occurred yesterday and I have requested a meeting with the School Superintendent as well as all parties involved to review the school handbook and actions to date. According to the 'code' this student should have been removed from this classroom. Please offer any suggestions for my addressing this situation. Observations by o!
ther professionals have been conducted, evaluation by Emory University staff and other measures to include medicating the aggressive child have occurred. I have supported all of this thinking the aggressor just wants to communicate but my child's safety has become an overriding factor. "
"I have a 5 year old boy and I'm doing the same thing with chart but it's not working. I have took away T.V. his favorate stuffed animal and make him do more then just two pages of homework he comes home with. I know he wants to get that attention and he gets that at his fathers house because he is the only child there plus the only grandchild. When he's with me (mother) I have another son that 2 1/2 years old so he may not get all the attention but he does not act out when he's with me unless he tired or hungry. Grant my 5 year old does pretty much good until he's go to school. Not sure what can I do. Already tried talking the father about it but not sure he does the same thing that I'm doing on punishing are son. If you have anything I'm willing to try. Thank You
"Help...My daughter will not stop hitting!
I read this article and practically fell out of my chair. My daughter is 5 and has Down Syndrome and is exhibiting the exact same behaviors as this boy being discussed in this article. The only difference is that she does NOT have good communication skills and trying to figure out what she is feeling or thinking is like trying to read Chinese. She has really good situational communitation but when it comes to her trying to recount an event or tell you her feelings when something happened, I dont think even she knows how to formulate those thoughts yet. She just kind of looks at us with a blank stare. She is VERY aware that hitting hurts other people because she does not like it when someone cries when she hits them, and even if they dont cry she immediately says, 'I'm sorry'. And continues on without a second thought. The other day she got sent to the Principals office because she tripped the teacher, whether it was on purpose or not has not yet been determined, but I have!
been getting notes every day now for at least 2 weeks that it is getting worse. She has been on the reward system using Smily face stickers for good behavior and sad faces for bad but that does not seem to be working anymore. I tried to impliment good behavior rewards at home after school in the form of private time with me alone before bed for reading or playing, since she has a little brother and my time is shared, but even that does not seem to work anymore. I am today at my highest stress levil because I am afraid the school district is going to take action and try to get her out of the class. Any advice at all is welcome and appreciated.
"This is a great article. My son who is 2 years and 9 months has just started in preschool. It is a parent preschool and therefore I am able to participate and see how my son is dealing with each situation. He is a timid and shy child and therefore is 'bullied' by other agressive children. This article has helped me to look for signs before my son is 'hit'.
In our parent education classes, we are also taught how to resolve conflicts amongst the children. This article will be very helpful for all those parents trying to teach their child conflict resolution. "