"I have read all the so called good reasons to smoke pot. Those that are
stating that pot is not a bad thing may use this drug in moderation.
However most kids fall into a subculture that robs them of living a normal
life. I am a father of two children that began using drugs at a very
young age. In fact their uncle introduced it to them at the age ot 12.
That uncle is now dead due to a Heroin overdose and their mother is also
dead because of a heroin overdose. Guess what they both used pot as teens
and are now dead because they moved onto something else to dull their pain
from daily living. These two children then began smoking with another
uncle. Guess what he is dead because the guy he was riding with pulled
out in front of a police car when they failed to stop for a stop sign.
Three tragic losses in less then three years because of pot smoking.
Parents you need to be parents and do not bury your heads in the sand.
These are choices that your son or daughter has !
made and they are not good ones. My three children are all successful
and have never used pot, they got great grades, and are all making 50K a
year. The two that are pot smoking are children that I am raising because
of drug addiction. I caught it early with the 14 year old and after two
years have finally got him straightened out. I am open about he problems,
wont tolerate it, and when I have discovered it there are consequences for
it. Simply taking away a few things for a few days does wonders. Dont go
overboard with it or you will not be effective with it. I am now dealing
with the 17 year old that used to be amazing at sports. When his attitude
changed he became very irritable, his friends changed, and he became very
disrespectful. The pot smoker responses telling you that it calms them is
far from the truth. It relaxes their minds until someone gets into their
business and then they become very irritated. Do not fall into that trap,
its not a phase, its jus!
t as bad as alcohol. I really believe their are quite a few B!
eevis and Butthead responses on here along with alot of anit government
non sense in addition to it.
Pot does have its medical purposes and for those suffering from cancer
and other similar health problems it definitely has its usefullness. But
for a teen that goods hooked on pot, its disaster. Pay attention to those
warning signs, be strict, get support from parents that have experienced
this problem, and you'll win the battle. Ignoring it as I have read will
not make the problem go away, it will only become a larger problem by the
time they are 17 or 18. I hate to admit this but their is one bit of
advice that is true. If they dont want to change their habits then all
the rehab in the world wont change that. However, you need to be strict
and quit feeding the habit by providing them with your vehicle and hard
earned money. If your vehicle is involved in a crash, they get stopped
after smoking, then you will be liable for a large tow bill or in the
worst case the loss of someone's life because you allowed them to continue
driving a car that was registered to you.
"they'll grow out of it but if you tell them not to do something they WILL
just do it anyways.
"there's nothing you can do that is worth doing so just embrace it and tell
him to do what he know's is right and if you've done your job correctly
all will be ok . pot is by far the least dangerous drug out there, so
consider yourself lucky he's not popping pills and just continue to
encourage him in his endeavors, but with out the over concerned nagging if
smoking weed is what makes him happy then go with it, isn't the most
important thing your child's happiness , whats with all these paranoid
parents censoring life and suffocating their children it's sad i am not
saying he should be smoking at that age but it is what it is and sooner or
later he will grow out of it and your job as a parent is to keep his mind
focused on his interests like electrical systems but in a positive manner
never sit him down for an intervention because you will lose his focus
just be supportive up close and protective at a distance like i said
before you just need to embrace it, accept it, and continue being a
"When you have evidence that your son is using, or you suspect he's using,
share that with him. Often we think it's our duty to trick our children
into telling us the truth, when in fact we're simply setting them up to
lie to us. For instance, if you were to approach your son and say, "Have
you been using marijuana lately?" There is a strong likelihood that he
will say no. Even if you have evidence that he has been using it.
A much better way to handle the situation is to tell your son everything
you know and then be quiet. In this case you would say, "When I was
cleaning your room today I found pot in the pocket of your pants." That's
it. That is all you say. Simply wait for his reply.
Most teens have a need to argue with us in an attempt to take us off
topic. Don't fall for that trap. He might reply, "What were you doing in
my room and going through my stuff? You have no right to be there." You
should acknowledge that and then get right back to the topic. "Perhaps
you're right. I should not have been looking in your pants pocket. I'm
sorry for invading your privacy. Now please tell me about the pot."
As an addict (recovering, thankfully; well, "RECOVERING" in a loose sense
of the word. I'm NOT SHOOTING UP & KICKING IN DOORS & getting ARRESTED, OK
Mom!? Can you LEAV... Uh, sorry. I get sidetracked & "worked up," the Dr.
calls it, but at HOME we call it "Here we go; get the PILLS Time!")
ANYWAY, the above quote is one of the best pieces of advice I've seen on
this topic. Want a sure fire way to alienate your kid who's CLEARLY going
through some serious personal issues, & send them directly into the arms
of the juvenile justice system? If so, ignore this advice!
"I agree we need to talk to our kids about marijuana use and other drug
use, but to make him feel as if hes doing something wrong by smoking pot
is wrong. Marijuana has some wonderful uses and maybe if you talked to him
like an adult(which he is), you may get better results. Get out of the
'reefer madness' mind frame and listen to your son.
"I've been smoking weed since I was 14years old on a more or less regular
basis "weekends", Im 22 years old now. As allready mentioned here, the
most harmfull drug in a joint is the tobacco, which is why I only smoke
marijuana joints, and not mixed joints. That's the only thing you should
be concerned with if you ask me since you're son obviously knows where he
wants in life and are accomplishing one milestone after in order to get
Im not gonna list up all the positive effects of weedsmoking, at least not
the most mentioned ones. But I will mention this, the biggest reason
nearly every person alive becomes dumber/looses intelligence is because of
them trying to live up to the expectations of their close ones, society,
government or u name it. They learn to think within a box of expectations
which limits them beyond your imagination. Fact is that people who dare to
try something new, even if they hear alittle of stuff about it being
dangerous proves that they are capable of thinking originally. And that's
also what weed does, it opens your mind to new things and you forget the
box of limitations one usually live within on a day to day basis.
Now Im not promoting weed, cause I don't think anyone should be dependent
on a drug/herb whatever to feel happy/comfortable or at peace.
But I do know that teenagers and early years of life includes a lot of
chaos, hormones, drama and emotions. So people need a mental break from it
all, a medicine, that's when I DO recommend using weed.
Because if you prohibit smoking weed, the alternative most youths then
will take is alcohol. Now do the math here, the main effect marijuana
provides are that the user becomes relaxed and calm. When your a teenagers
with all these hormones, chaos, emotions, drama and so on, I do recommend
going for a "medicine" that provides you with a calm and relaxing effects,
instead of alcohol where you more or less go batshit crazy.
I have as mentioned smoked for a while instead of gotten drunk, and Im
completely sure that it was the right choice for me. The few times I DID
drink while giving my parents .. advice, a shot. I woke up in a different
country the following day, seriously thats a true story. I live in Norway
and woke up on the east side of sweden.
Only parents in general that should react when discovering their child are
using weed is if that child doesn't have a goal in life, where that child
is lost/not working towards something basically. Cause that's when smoking
weed 24/7 becomes a habit in order to not feel so lost anymore, or rather.
Not care about it. And thats when harder drugs usually follow.
Weed doesn't lead to stronger drugs, people who decide to try stronger
drugs doesn't do it because they have tried weed. They do it because they
are looking for a feeling weed couldn't provide them with. Whether that
feeling is the feel of fitting into a social group, or the feeling of
somewhat inner peace, doesn't matter. The problems and issues of such a
person goes much much deeper then smoking a joint or taking a sniff. You
solve those problems first, the deeper and essential issues, THEN you can
solve said persons drug habits.
Amyway. enough preaching from my side. Hope this helped out.. anyone at
all:p e-mail me if u have questions and I'm happy to help.
"Pot is not a bad thing I don't count it as a drug it is not bad for u
people are telling u that so u will think it is bad and stay off of it
the only reason pot elagle is because some one did a campane against pot
because it was taking over the timber indstry because hemp was us to make
paper and fabric and other thing pot is also a pain reliever and it is
leagle in some places for ADHD add cancer it not bad to use it I no some
people that smoke pot all there life and they are fine tabacco is the
killer there is 4000 cancer against in one cigertte
""He is doing an apprentice program at this time as an electrician so he
doesn't attend high school. But he gets his credit going to work and to a
couple of night classes to further his electrical education."
"He goes to work every day and has passed his first-step exam to progress
in his schooling."
These are two quotes that show just how irrational and fearful you are
being. It appears to me that you found some pot in the pocket of your sons
clothing (why you were looking through the pockets of his clothes when you
were 'cleaning up' I'll overlook) and have now disregarded all that he has
and is accomplishing on his path to become an electrician (a well paying,
popular job i might add) and are now of the opinion that all that he has
accomplished will come crashing down because you have just become aware he
is smoking weed. Look at the reality of the situation; prior to your
finding out about it, your son was still smoking pot, he was still going
to school (night classes are grueling let me tell you, especially when
your also working), still working and for all intents and purposes, on a
pretty secure life road. I'll tell you right now how your son is going to
react when you confront him with this as a negative thing (which, judging
by your irrational jump to the worst !
conclusion, you will) he is going to get defensive and feel betrayed that
you went looking through his stuff, you have invaded his privacy and are
now going to tell him that what he is doing with his life is not good. If
he can balance weed, work, and school your kid is doing pretty good for
17, and you should asking him what he needs, not telling him you don't
approve of his direction in life, since that is really not your decision;
I am passionate about his article because my mother and father are exactly
like you, this exact situation has played out in my life, and my parents
confronted me and disowned me when I told them everything was going fine
(which it was) and that I can handle it. Instead of offering some
constructive advice or answering my questions when I had a real problem
with life, they totally focused on my rejection of their desires and today
I am completely estranged from my parents, unable to go to them for
anything at all, even advice.
"I am a mom of a 14 year old boy who gets good grades and has a pretty good
attitude most of the time. I just recently found out he has tried pot. I'm
seeing a few of his friends start to flounder a little... the friends who
don't have regular interests and activities, such as music, sports, or any
youth groups to keep them engaged. These are the friends who he has smoke
pot with, and I imagine these friends will continue their pot use and
probably find themselves in a bit of trouble because their parents are
unaware of what's going on. I talk to my son openly, I allow him to voice
his opinion, and I want him to feel comfortable coming to me if he needs
help. I do not condone him using pot or alcohol in high school. What I
have told him is that he has the rest of his life to try new things...
right now, he needs to get through high school and get decent grades. He
needs to learn who he is as a person. This is his chance to enjoy his
youth and be the first class rate of himsel!
f... not the second class version of someone else. i want him to look
back and say damn, life was so childish and fun. Because life should be
fun and he should learn this first without pot and alcohol. I don't want
the use of substances to alter his state of mind and focus as a young
adult. We've talked about how pot at this age can impair his memory, his
sharp wit, his aptitude for sports. It can contribute to mood swings and
depression... and we talk about his development as a human and how his
body is trying to establish itself with all these increasing hormones. Its
all normal, but pot can throw him off and impede his physical process. I
am not worried about the few times he has dabbled in pot. What I am
worried about is him not knowing how to use it in moderation if he
continues it in his adult life. i say this because of the frequency that
his friends are using it without the communication and awareness of their
parents,or the engagement of any positive activities. Wh!
ich brings me to my ultimate subject- there are plenty of peop!
le who did not use pot in high school, but use it now in regular or
constant doses in their adult lives. And, there are people who used pot in
high school but rarely use pot in their adult lives nowadays. This is a
discussion I have with my adult friends. Ultimately, we cannot keep our
children from trying pot if they want to. We can however influence their
understanding and decisions in using pot at a young age. We do this by
being involved in their lives and their activities. But we have to be
consistent (both in boundaries and expectations) and we have to live by
example. Above all, we let them know that we are all human and we make
mistakes; and regardless of anything our kids do, they are important and
we will continue to love them.
"Im 17 years old, ive been smoking for almost 4 years now. My grades are
amazing im doing very good in life. Marijuana is only what the government
makes it sounds like. Its not as bad as everyone says, If everyone only
new the true facts of Marijuana than most people will not get angry at
there children for it. The whole role in civilization, such as the way the
government controls us, the declaration of independence. The president
that wrote that and the former group that was with that all smoked weed.
Learn the true facts of Marijuana and not the facts the government gives
you. If anyone wants to argue about this they can email me! Read the facts
before you give out punishment.
"If he's already doing good and everything with school and career, and
smoking, why do you think that further down the path he will do worse? How
do you know he hasn't been smoking for the last year, and also been a
responsible kid and all that jazz.
"This is so messed up. If he was allowed to smoke in the house there would
be zero consequences for him to smoke weed. I went to a pretty damn good
college and smoked weed every day all day, and made deans list every end
of a semester. For some it really does help. Like me. I wish my parents
would have understood this when I lived with them :( "
"I started smoking marijuana at 13, im 23 now. i had constant battles with
my moms, I unfortunitally don't live in a MJ friendly state like I did in
California. I did loose alot, license for 3 years, forced to move back at
home. I am all for legalization, I was really stupid about smoking it
also, like driving around or cruising, because it was not aloud at the
house when i was a teenager "
"Do what you feel/believe you should do as a parent. From my own
experience, I experimented with pot in high school (few times), but did
smoke regularly after college for a few years then stopped. I did it
because it was fun. I knew the risks but quit when I decided it was not
worth the health, legal and job risks. Our kids too have to weigh the
risks and make their own decisions. As parents of late teens we have the
prerogative of attaching rules to our support. Keep up your grades and
stay out of trouble and I'll support you. Or, smoke weed and pull lousy
grades and you are on your own. Note I personally don't have a moral
issue with Pot. Rather, I feel it prevents a young person from achieving
their educational goals. So if I'm financing $25M/yr for college then the
grades had better be there.
"My 14 year old daughter has been out of control for a while now. She smokes she drinks and she has been having sex with older boys and men. The problem is she does not see the consequence of her actions and she won't talk to us about it. Yesterday we caught her smoking pot, which we found out from her Brother that she has been doing this for a while. I don't know if we did the right thing. We called the police and had them deal with it. We are hoping this will show her the consequences of her actions, as this is something she has not taken seriously from us.
"Im 19 years old and i believe that the articles advice makes a great
change from what parents usually do, which is punish their kids, scream at
them for doing that but that is not the case because they will actually be
causing them to do it more. If the parent acts calm about it, talks to
their child about the situation to help them, there might be a great
impact on the child. well not the child, the teen , might have a greater
chance of opening up to the parent. I dont do drugs or anything like that
but whenever i would do something wrong like have a boyfriend at a young
age, she would find out and make me feel bad. Instead of camly talking to
me so i can open up to her, she would scream and shout at me and made me
hate her. I understand now, but i wish parents could understand the
importance of thelping their teen in a loving way."
"My 15 yr old son has been smoking pot for at least 1 1/2 yrs now that I'm
aware of. He has been to counseling and he chooses to still continue with
his bad habits. I caught him red handed this am. I know he need to go to
treatment, but where do I start? I already consulted a chemical eval for
him. He has great insurance. I would love to put him in Teen Challenge,
but can not afford this. My husband doesn't think he needs treatment so
I'm taking it into my own hands. Please help me."
"Your son smokes weed so does most of the world. It's not deadly you should
be glad he's not smoking crack now get over it. I understand you're a
concerned parent but unless he's getting in trouble with the law you have
nothing to worry about."
"Not a big deal. Just something most teenagers to. When they give the
excuse about life being hard they're trying to get out of trouble. It's a
waste of time to get any sort of rehab for just pot. "
"single mom of two boys, my 15 year old is smoking marijuana. I am so glad
i read this article before talking to him. He is an A student and a great
athlete. I want to say to all of you kids using and dont think its a big
deal. ANY CHOICE YOU MAKE CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER. Are you willing to
pay the consequeces?"
"gotta love these teens who talk about how their life is
toughest....everybody has it tough. grow up. we need to cope. whether you
choose to have a beer or smoke pot recreationally it's avaliable and you
will. whether you choose to behave like a baby who is not responsible and
do too mcuh then drive or hurt yourself and others, is also your choice.
make wise choices. don't blame others. you have to live your life, and
what you do will impact that. its not about whether drugs are available,
its whether you choose to use them. its not peer pressure that makes you
use drugs, we pick and choose our friends when we are old enough, and
before that our parent(s) allow or forbid friendships based upon their own
experiences. time people, even teens, took responsibility for their own
choices and actions."
"I have a 16.5 year old son who has been smoking pot for at least 2 years.
We caught him several times, tried talking with him, tried punishement etc
etc etc. Each time he SWEARS he won't smoke again. I know in my heart that
it is out of control, he is also drinking beer etc. He is making his own
bongs. He has ADHD and anger issues. He is sooooo manipulative and knows
just which buttons to push *guilt, tears, remorse*. Me and my ex have come
to the conclusion that he NEEDS help. We need help. I am looking into in
patient rehab (which are hard to find for teens!). Just tonight I found a
bunch of beer cans and a home made bong. I am so angry I told him not to
come home tonite, to stay with a friend. Then I felt bad for saying that I
left a message telling him he can come home if he cannot find a place to
stay. As I type I realize I sound like every other parent on the internet.
More than anything I feel helpless. This is also so very hard on my 14 yr
old daughter who is so tir!
ed of covering and lying for him. I think i need to go to a support
group, but I don't know which one is best. We are now waiting to hear from
the rehab center to set up an initial appointment for evaluation. I needed
"My son was in a car accident a year ago on the way home from spending the
night with a friend and totaled his truck. It turns out that he had
alcohol poisoning, had been vomiting all night and was dehydrated which
caused him to pass out at the wheel. Even though he did not have any
alcohol in his system, and was not issued a citation for driving under the
influence, the accident was still a direct cause of drinking. We were
very fortunate, he was not seriously hurt and nobody else was hurt. That
was his one 'get out of jail free card'. We made it clear, NO DRUGS NO
DRINKING - or you loose all driving privileges. Because here is the
problem, drugs and alcohol continue to affect your body AFTER they would
seem to be out of your system. There ARE long term affects on your body.
Our 17 year old son has a heart condition, and has had open heart surgery,
drugs and alcohol are even further an issue for him and could have serious
life threatening consequences. In the last 6 months we have suspected on
numerous occasions that he was under the influence of drugs. But he has
been considerate and we didn't have any concrete information. Today, a
pot pipe fell out of is clothes when I went to do laundry. Now, we are
faced with do we 'listen', 'understand', 'not judge' or do we enforce
logical consequences and take away the car and the debit card. He will be
18 in 6 weeks. After he turns 18, he has to either get a job with good
insurance or stay in school in order to stay on our insurance. Messing
around with risking his heart health right now is NOT a game. We live in
the country, 25 miles from school, there are no buses. He has to drive to
get to school or to get to a job. OR I will have to drive him. I cannot
use his heart health as a talking poi!
nt to convince him to make good choices because he KNOWS is heart
condition, all that it would do to make a point of it is cause him to
think....'well there is no hope, why bother'.
"My son is currently using Marijuana. He has gone through two phases of
outpatient drug treatment programs. He was also in a inpatient program for
60 days. He just started going back to a traditional school from being
expelled. He's sleeping in class, smoking pot like it's not a problem.
He's not doing his homework and is just starting to get a bad additude
again... Please help... Sincerely, Celchoy"
"the pot article was helpful, thanks"
"I am 17 years old, I am currently attending highschool. I finished my last semester with an 80% average and am studying to become a computer engineer.
I smoke 'pot' almost everyday. (And my father knows this).
I don't want to sound like some advocate or something, but the fact of the matter is, is that is not that dangerous of a thing, as long as it is done responsibly. Maybe instead of trying to get your kids to confess, and sending them away to rehab, just make sure they aren't being an idiot about it.
If someone is very worried about their child, and truly just will not have this, then I would suggest starting out small, letting them know you are aware they do it, and try and have a conversation with them about it. Tell them that it is worrying and your feeling about it, you might learn something."
"My son (15) comes to me telling me he's depressed, the psychiatrists, psychologists, all want to put him on medicationssss UGH! When my son then tells me he tried smoking pot and it helped him, I am much more apt to go with letting him smoke a little pot than be a drooling brainless dweeb...omg it was not a pretty sight. I realize all of the harmful effects of smoking pot but compared to abilify and lithium, the pot smoking is ok with me, he has too many other pressures that are way more harmful. We at least can talk to each other and work on our problems together. :)"
"About kids who use pot (im 15 myself) Its isnt that we have frineds around us who use pot and tell us to try it. Its the point of school being this HUGE deal and the pressure of having to do well. Pot, for example, is an excape from having to think about that every where we go, everyhting we do. Its just a way to get away from it all and forget all those troubles. Our generation is the tuffest yet. The reason is we have more put onto us, like the computer, aids(etc.), drugs, people with desires for sex. AlL of that PLUS school, homework, social status, gossip, homework, college, work, family and So much more. One of the biggest problems is 75% of the people who do drugs and alcohol are 'Bastards' (they dont have a father) The dad in the family is one the daughters look up to and the sons want to be. But divorce is a real pain to the people in those families. Thats all i have to say.
" What it often seems to come down to is - high school
students, especially older ones, either drink or smoke
pot. Then there is a smaller group that experiments with
other substances, from purloined prescription meds thrugh cocaine and now, once again, heroin.
But this wasn't brought up in the discussion of someone freaking out because her son is smoking pot.
Frankly, I feel that the possibility of getting in a car wreck and making stupid choices is greater with the more popular drug of choice - alcohol. "