03/19/2009:
"Most of the children in this age group are somewhat on the edge of
puberty. They are certain about their home environment whether it is
dysfunctional or not, if one child within the home is receiving more
kisses/hugs, and if they receive more punishment than others and maybe
perceived as being a difficult child. My suggestion would be STOP, at the
time the child is being difficult (in your opinion) and ask yourself am I
being fair, (again am I being fair, say it in your head twice)release all
the tension for your facial features and mental thoughts. Proceed to look
at the child with admiration for the beauty they posess while bending down
to the childs eye level and say I wonder why you seem so emotional when
school is mentioned? Once you get an answer continue by stating first I
love you ( or just smile) and want you to like school or get better
grades. Therefore, we will work on school assignments everyday for 20
minutes per assignment even if we do not finish the chapter!
, it can be resume the next day or following one. Parents- You can create
your own school work for home or get a booklet. Have it layed out on their
desk or table after they have gotten their after school snack. Tell them
to complete it and call you with any questions. You may show them (not
enable them) how to find the answer (try your best not to give the answer
to them)they have to become independent and this maybe their problem at
school which in turn makes them feel dumb or an under achiever that in
turn makes their self esteem drop. Do this for a week with out hostility,
a sturn face, anger, confinement or punishment. If they seem stresssed out
at the moment. STOP, let them do a fun activity and resume home work an
hour later. Remember, you are doing this for a child that does not like
school so you have to cave in and bite your teeth for the moment. You are
doing all of this ground work to build up their self esteem not tear it
down with punishments or riducule. If !
the above is not working you may want to find out their cognit!
ive and perceptual abilities. It can be found out by tests within your
local school system. You can set up a meeting with the principal and
teacher and ask that your childs IQ, cognitive and perceptual behaviors
tested. You may have to start with subtraction in math if your child is
not understaind division. Sometimes teachers do not notice a child is not
doing good with subtraction if they are doing well with addition and
multiplication or Vice Versa. Soemtimes we have to start at the very
beginning to get to the core of the issue at hand. I hope this works, it
did for me."
04/10/2008:
"So, what happens when they act like this at school and the school let's them? My 10 y/o is so emotional and the more they get after him for eveything the more emotional he gets and the more out of control things get at home. I have a meeting to talk about interventions that can be used at school but all they want to use is me. They are not willing to be responsible for some things they can change. I get confused and I over compensate and end up not addressing the issues. I am a single mom and the school certainly knows how to get me into the mess of things. I don't accept my son's behavior, but I don't want him to feel isolated. I am getting him into couseling now and I would like to know how to define being supportive and still holding him accountable without him feeling like the world is on his shoulders? "
12/19/2006:
"My child has always been an 'A' student but received her first 'C' in Language/Arts this progress report. She feels very discouraged. I give her a lot of love and support. What else can I do to help her in terms of improving her grades? "
11/16/2006:
"My soon to be stepson is living with us and often shows these same behaviors, I have done the same as suggested in this article and he does in fact test to see if I will follow through. The problem I run into in this situation is his father, when I set rules and boundries he goes to his father and talks his way out of the situation. I love him dearly but I can't seem to get anywhere in this situation. Any suggestions would be helpful."
11/16/2006:
"My daughter stresses everyday hw much she hates school. She declares this anytime she is corrected about responsibilities and expectations as it relates to her education. During homework time sometimes she declares how much she hated school with a passion and if only she could run away. I am begining to suspect she is experiencing somethin at school that she is not communicating. Is this reaction a sign I should be worried about?"
