By Jodie Dawson, Psy.D.
My name is Eva G. I was born in the former Soviet Union, but grew up in a big city in the United States. I like to spend time with friends, travel, dance, write in my journal, and watch independent films, theater performances, and Public Broadcasting System specials. I am a very caring, giving person who's full of energy.
In May 2002, I graduated with a Master's degree from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. My goal in life is to empower people and make them feel special.
I wasn't identified with a learning disability until graduate school, but I remember struggling with language and grammar when I was younger.
In third grade, I was in tears over writing a report on Hawaii because I didn't know what to say. I remember feeling frustrated and never did turn in the paper.
I transferred from a private to a public school in the 4th grade and felt academically ahead. I was in a magnet program with a gifted curriculum. I knew only smart kids got into these programs, but I still had difficulty writing and memorizing.
Excuses for my struggles could always be explained by my anxiety or the challenge my parents had helping me with my homework when English was their second language. I didn't understand I had a learning disability.
It wasn't until college that things really started to get tough. I had difficulty writing my thoughts and ideas on paper, and I always turned my papers in late. Memorizing and studying were impossible. I knew I wasn't doing as well as I could. I have the belief that if I want something, I can have it if I just try hard enough. I felt so bad because I kept trying and failing. It was disheartening to spend hours studying and not accomplish anything.
I plugged away until graduate school when I became completely overwhelmed. Everything was taking me so much time to get through. Finally, one-and-a-half years ago, my academic advisor suggested I get tested.
I was eager to find out the results but also very sad. I was scared of having to be dependent on medication, for fear of feeling powerless and of being judged by others. But I felt a sense of urgency to get the help I needed to be successful.
I have Attention Deficit Disorder (inattentive type) and a disorder of written expression, with some indication of a disorder of oral expression. My reading comprehension is at a 10th-grade level. My writing fluency, how quickly I form sentences, is at a 5th-grade level.
What I used to think of as my personality traits are really characteristics of AD/HD. I am outgoing, have a high energy level, lack inhibition, and have difficulty paying attention. I've come to admire my determination and how far I've come, but I'm still shocked that I write at a 5th-grade level!
In the former Soviet Union, disabilities in general are not accepted. This led to misperceptions about learning disabilities, like equating them with mental retardation.
From my experience, immigrants often want more and constantly struggle to be greater. Being seen as above average is important.
People always told me I wrote like an immigrant. I miss words, don't focus my ideas, and have poor grammar and spelling. This was one excuse for why I wasn't doing well in my writing.
I found it's the little things that really can make a difference. I've been working with my LD/AD/HD Specialist at the University to learn strategies to help me complete graduate school successfully: