By Annie Stuart
As the parent of a child with a learning disability, you're likely "tuned in" to potential learning difficulties in other children. Have you met a family, through school or after-school acitivities, where you suspect such a problem? But you can't be sure because English is not their first language or because cultural, educational, or socioeconomic differences between you and the family pose additional challenges?
You've gathered some insights along the way and you'd like to help, but you may not know how to do so. Here are some guidelines for sharing your knowledge in a sensitive way and for taking concrete steps to help.
Before you can really help another family, you'll need to establish a friendship based on trust and mutual respect. Also, be careful not to jump to conclusions about learning disabilities (LD). This is important for a number of reasons. For one, the history of prejudice in the United States and overrepresentation of minorities in special education could understandably lead to skepticism or mistrust about your concerns, especially if you are of European descent and the other family is not. And you should know that the term "learning disability" doesn't even exist in some languages, making a discussion about it more challenging.
Also, be aware that language and cultural differences between you and other parents can influence communication. Different cultures can have very different concepts about time (e.g., punctuality), tone of voice, authority, or competition. Likewise, nonverbal messages expressed through touch or gestures, facial expression, and personal space can have different meanings in different cultures. Cultural practices may also greatly influence how a child communicates in school. For example, in some cultures, children avoid eye contact with an authority figure as a way of showing respect. . A person not of that culture might mistakenly view the child as lacking interest or respect for the teacher. Being aware of, and sensitive to, such differences will help you better relate to families from cultures other than your own.
Here is another potential difference. Your child's friend, Alejandro, always turns in homework late. A number of factors besides a learning disability could contribute to this problem. Is it because English is his second language and he doesn't understand the teacher's directions? Or is it because he lacks space or materials at home to do his homework? Or is it that he is expected to do chores or care for younger siblings and has no time for homework? According to Brian Leung, Ph. D., Associate Professor in the School of Education at Loyola Marymount University, Los Angeles, "Families who are poor have survival on the top of mind, and if their home life is chaotic, homework may be a last priority."
Helping a parent sort out a child's LD from language or cultural differences isn't easy. It requires a formal evaluation by an experienced professional. But you can help by raising awareness. Brian Leung points out that people from other cultures may believe in different reasons for a disability, such as divine punishment or bad karma. "Be sensitive to that," he says, "Your suggestion of a learning disability may not be immediately accepted as a reason for poor achievement."
As your relationship with the other parent develops, you may be able to broach the subject of a potential learning disability. One way to do this is by asking advice of the other parent, says Leung. "You might ask a question like, 'How do you keep your child focused on assignments?'" On the other hand, you can use your own child as a reference point. You might say, "I've tried sitting down next to Mia while she's doing her math, and that's really helped."
Here are some questions you might ask a parent to prompt her to consider possible reasons for her child's learning difficulty:
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