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Developmental milestones: Ages 3 through 5
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By Joyce Destefanis, M.A. , Nancy Firchow, M.L.S.
Tips for Parenting 4-Year-Olds
Silly, imaginative, and energetic, your child loves to try new words and new activities.
- 4-year-olds crave adult approval. Provide lots of positive encouragement.
- Display calendars and analog clocks to help your child visualize the concept of time.
- Play word games to develop his growing vocabulary; overlook his fascination with bad words.
- Offer opportunities for sorting, matching, counting, and comparing.
- Provide lots of play space and occasions to play with other kids.
Milestones: 5-Year-Olds
Motor Development: Gross Motor Skills
- runs in an adult manner
- walks on tiptoe, broad jumps
- walks on a balance beam
- skates and jumps rope
Motor Development: Fine Motor Skills
- hand preference is established
- laces (but cannot tie) shoes
- grasps pencil like an adult
- colors within lines
- cuts and pastes simple shapes
Language and Thinking Development
- speaks fluently; correctly uses plurals, pronouns, tenses
- very interested in words and language; seeks knowledge
- understands and names opposites
- uses complex language
- still confuses fantasy and reality at times
- thinking is still naïve; doesn't use adult logic
Social and Emotional Development
- distinguishes right from wrong, honest from dishonest, but does not recognize intent
- plays make-believe and dresses up
- mimics adults and seeks praise
- seeks to play rather than be alone; friends are important
- plays with both boys and girls but prefers the same sex
- wants to conform; may criticize those who do not
Tips for Parenting 5-Year-Olds
Your cooperative, easy-going 5-year-old loves to play and that's how he learns.
- Join in activities that develop coordination and balance — skipping and hopping, walking on the curb or crack in the sidewalk, or climbing trees.
- Encourage fine motor skills by letting your child cut pictures out of magazines, string beads, or play with take-apart, put-together toys.
- Take advantage of his interest in numbers by counting anything and everything; teach simple addition and subtraction by using objects, not numerals.
- Let your child know what to expect from an upcoming event or activity so he can prepare. Avoid springing things on him.
- Help him recognize his emotions by using words to describe them: "I see you're angry at me right now."
A "Snapshot" of Two 5-Year-Olds
This story of Jimmy and Maria illustrates the range of skills, interests, and abilities considered typical development for this age.
Jimmy pressed his forehead against the window as he watched his neighbor Maria drive away in the car with her mother on their way to her first day of kindergarten. He sighed and waved. He hoped Maria would see him, yet he didn't want to go outside to make sure.
Jimmy felt sad and disappointed that he was't going, too. At the same time he was glad that he could stay home.
Motor Activity
Jimmy had asked his mother why he wasn't going to school. He was going to be five soon, just like Maria. And he could do all kinds of things. He was good at running, jumping, and climbing. He could roller skate and ride a tricycle. Maria could do some of those things, too, but not like Jimmy.
Maria couldn't really climb a tree, but Jimmy was the best tree climber ever. He didn't tell his mom, but he had climbed the tall tree in Maria's back yard. She didn't even try to climb it. She just yelled at him to come down. She thought he was going to hurt himself.
"Girls! Maybe it's a good thing that Maria is going to school," Jimmy thought. "It's better to play with boys anyway. Boys do more fun things. Girls like to sit and color and write and play house and cut out paper dolls and all those yucky things." But Jimmy had to admit that Maria liked to play ball and chase and run, too.
If only Billy lived closer! But mom said he's too young to walk all the way over to Billy's by himself.
