"I have 2 girls with learning diasablilties, who have been severly bullied
along with a friend of theirs who has autism . Her parents and i have
filed an ocr (office of civil rights) complaint against the school where
they attend because they do nothing to controll the bullying. When the
kids report the behavior all that is said is that they , the school , will
address it. I'm done allowing them to not take responsibilty and failing
to keep the school safe for all children.
"My son has been getting bullied at school. When he goes into the restroom,
then that's when other little boys will go in there and bully him. Well
yesterday, he got punched in the nose by another boy, and so I had to go
and pick him up, and take him to the doctor, to make sure his nose isn't
broken. I don't think it is, but we will know for sure in a few days. I
need to know what I can do to stop this! I have talked to the school
several times, and they won't do anything to help prevent it. I was going
to press charges on the other little 5th grader, but I would rather do
something that will help all kids, and not just my child. So, I am not
sure if pressing charges is the right thing to do or not. What can I do?
Please give me some suggestions to help the entire school!!! I am at my
wits end!!! Please help!
"The main issue is that when we complain to our school, they actually tell
the bully that the parents of XXX complained about you...guess what the
bullying gets worse. What is with these kniucklehead guidance counslers.
"Thank you so much for this information. We have tried so hard to get our
daughter to learn how to deal with conflicts herself and to not resort to
"tattling". But the continued and persistent harrassment that she has to
deal with is just more than any child should have to handle. You have
given us some great tools to work with and I couldn't agree more with what
should be expected from the school. We have some great tools to move
forward with now. Thank you!
"Bullying does not just occur between students. Teachers and Administrators
can also be the cause of bullying of a student. What do you do then? This
is more prevalent than you could imagine. Why do you think students are
reluctant to report abuse?! When parents try to address this type of issue
they are met with more troubles and their child is now further bullied by
an authority figure. They are labeled as troublemakers and the only
recourse is to change schools. Many parents are afraid to come forward for
this reason. The schools don't want you to know about these things, they
want to keep their ratings high. Bad teachers are kept on due to tenure
and that's not right. We experienced this type of behavior on several
occasions and were met with deaf ears. We need to figure out a way to make
these bullies held accountable without fear of retribution.
"My 5 year old son takes the bus with students ranging from Kindergarten to
6th grade. There are a number of students in the upper grade that find a
way daily to tease, chase, argue, push or are agressive towards other kids
at the bus stop. This morning, one of the older boys, (who is a safety for
the school and was quick to tell me that) slammed another boy to the
ground. When another parent and I heard more commotion coming from the bus
clubhouse we went over and show 3 boys surrounding this one boy. When I
yelled at them to knock it off, because there are younger kids around..
the boy (who is the safety) said well I was trying to hold him down and
tell him to stop and claimed the boy punched him in the stomach. When I
tried to find out what was going on, I (without malice) grabbed the boys
arm and said..in a nice voice, come here.. wait come here.I have had
communication with this boy before when they complained to me about the
driver, and I helped them out. There was no i!
ntentional hurting of this child on my part. Another woman at the bus
stop said you have no right to touch that child. While I can understand
her point, when is enough with this bus stop. The principals have had
discussions with the kids at this bus stop and the bus driver has issues
on a every day occurance with the older kids on this bus. What else can I
do. Someone is ultimately gonna get severely hurt.
"i have been bullied scince the 4th grade. I'm currently in the 7th grade
at Briggs Chaney middle school. The principal takes bullying seriously if
she SEES it happen. My bullying is in the background. Im a prime target /
obesse and have adhd. For those of you who know you can kick this persons
butt before you do that do these 2 things i recently did. Ask your serious
parent not the one who will go to the school(all the school does is pile
up statements) ask them for advice. My advice from today was tell your
counselour(or teacher/whoever) that you have warned this person you WILL
hurt them. Tell them that next time they touch you you wont hold back. The
teachers HAVE to care about that. Now here comes the part where they will
ask you who this person is. Normally its not just one person. But that one
person is normally the leader. If no one helps you YOU and only YOU can
take a stand. If your a pacifist then im sorry i cant help you there.
People say find a person you can tru!
st. The thing is ask yourself. you can tell them the issue.....but what
will they be able to do?
"Here is a different way to deal with bullying, which some firends of ours
started. Our friends' child had been bullied for years and had tried all
the stuff like coaching the child to act confident, etc. etc. All this
helped a little, but basically placed the whole burden on the bullied
child and really didn't change much. They alkso had had many meetings
with administrators, got a lot of head nodding and sympathy, no real
results. So finally, they began getting together with other parents
whose children had been bullied. The talked with other parents, held
meetings, and eventually built a group of about 20 families. Then they
went together to the school administration, named a list of specific
incidents that all their children had suffered and names of the bullies,
and told the administration that if any incident like these happened
again, they would expect the bullies to be suspended. If they were not
suspended, then ALL the parents (not just the parents of the !
one bullied child involved in the incident) would pull their kids out of
school for an unexcused absence -- basically, a strike. And they would
publicly let other parents know why they were doing this. They also said
that if there was one more incident beyond that, they would not only have
another strike, they would opt their kids -- again, *all* their kids --
out of taking the STAR tests that year. Schools hate this kind of thing.
Frankly, they hate it more than bulling. It costs them money and bad
publicity, and makes their STAR stats look bad. It was very effective.
For the first time, the leaders in the bullying group (who were often in
the "popular" clique at school, sometimes star athletes, etc.) were
actually, finally, suspended for some of their actions. It was a short
suspension, only two days, but it was the first time in years they had had
a real consequence -- and the first time their parents had had to deal
with it. Since then, my friends say, !
things have been a lot better for all of their children. The !
bullying kids have been politer, more respectful, doing much less of the
mean things they had been doing and saying, b/c they know and their
parents know and the school knows there will be a real consequence. The
key is that the parents of bullied kids stuck together and went to the
administration willing to take action together. Yes, this is a
confrontational approach. It also needs parents to work together. But I
think many parents have found that trying to solve the problems alone
really does not work. Your family is isolated in dealing with the school
and your kid is isolated in dealing with the bullies (who always work in
groups). Also, it is often true that some of the meanest kids are the
popular group and that school administrations, while they will say all the
right things, are pretty passive in dealing with these kids. Working
together and being willing to name names and impose consequences on the
school was what really changed things. We are going to!
start a similar group at our school and take an aggressive approach if
necessary. If this works, it may begin a new way for parents to deal with
their kids being bullied -- hopefully a much more effective one.
"This article is not very helpful. How do you deal with children
(witnesses) who refuse to speak on the bullying because they don't want to
be 'tattletales.' We've gone to the school and my child continues to be
bullied by the 'alleged' (their word). They have security cameras they
won't look at and at least two witnesses they won't speak to. They
honestly don't seem to care. So what do you do when the school won't
cooperate and the kids involved are young teenagers who think they need to
handle it on their own? My wife is worries all day, every day if the boy
is safe. Is this the day it escalates and he really gets hurt? It's
ruining his life, and it's ruining ours and the school won't help. What
"I'm not an expect but was a school principal of 25 years and have many
ideas that I would love to share about this topic. (from my practical
experience) How can I do that? Ray"
"thanks that was helpful"
"I just read the articles on bullying. I'm afraid my young fellow will be
ripe for bullies, he's very quite, unsure of himself and others. He is
ADHA diagnosed @ 2yrs of age. He is just about to enter into middle
school, I'm worried sick that he will not handle himself properly, we have
discussed this on several occas. But when the time comes he'll forget or
get tongue-tied. I suggest for him to open his mouth loudly and yell Stop!
Leave me alone,and walk away! I think most bullies don't like to be seen
by all, so just maybe they will back off! I don't know if this is right or
wrong but will that be effective? Kids don't tell for not being caught as
a snitch!or if they do tell they may not know who the bully is or class
he's in. I am very nervous about all of this"
"My grandson is being bullied every day at school and I want it to stop! I
feel that there is not enough of supervision in school to protect my
grandson. He doesn't want to tell anyone for fear of retalliation from
"I've been teased, picked on, humiliated, ridiculed, and everything in
between ever since 4th grade. My head almost ending up in a flushing
toilet, all the sufferings of being the new kid, everything. But that was
9 years ago. I'm now a freshman in college, and now I'm finally
liberated, but alas, it still sneaks up on me, but not as much as middle
school. It comes as no surprise that I have higher functioning
Asperger's, OCD, and probably ADHD, quite obviously making me a prime
target for kids who enjoy making others miserable. The only people that
seem to understand people with LD, ADHD, Asperger's and the such, or even
normal kids who are bullied regardless, are people who have the disorders
as well and have experienced their pain. I keep saying to anyone who
listens that one Aspe kid is always able to recognize another, and they
are also able to understand their 'psycological language' as fluently as
they speak their own native tongue, so to speak. We tend to enjoy!
anime, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and all that stuff, which makes us even more
appetizing to bullies. Don't they realize that bullies also give suicide
a really lusterous gleam to some kids? Just leave us kids alone. That's
what we really want. All we desire is for it all to just end; don't make
it hard for us."
"i been bullied since 1st grade and it doesnt ever really stop...."