"does your child get bullied everyday
"My grandson was ADHD. He was just sepensed from school for a week. The
teacher said he stood up and told another boy he was going to shoot him in
the face. When ask the boy said he did not say that but another boy need
by said he did. My grandson does not speak like that and to stand up in
front of the whole class is not like him. He's been bully lately by a
classmate. How to handle this is beyond his parents and our too.
"In our area public schools are consistently in the top 5 in the nation.
Based on that, and the glowing reviews from our neighbors we sent our son
to the local public school for kindergarten. Always had a bad feeling.
Then came first grade and all of a sudden our son was crying and begging
us not to send him to school. He was spat on, called names, touched
inapprpiately, pushed, and "touched" in the face. I say touched because
that is what the administration said when our son was hit in the face by a
child with special needs. To be clear all of the abuse and taunts-
bullying-came at the hand and from the mouth of ONE boy who had impulse
control, anxiety, and a learning disability. I know this because his
mother told me he was protected by the disabilities act and that they were
doing the best they could and that there was nothing we could do about it.
The sad thing...she was right. No one, teacher, administration, no one
cared about the toll it was taking in our son.!
We were labeled as the problem parents and lied to by the
administration at least 3 times. We were left no choice but to remove our
child whom out of the 20 some instances only pushed back once in
self-defense to a private school. The god news is that our son is in a
safe, zero tolerance school but he still carries this with him. I am so
angered that parents have this not my child attitude. I'm sad because the
boy that tortured our son will most likely be the kid that is consistently
bullied, and left out as he progresses through his academic career because
his mom is "exhausted" and feels she has exhausted all treatments for her
son and he is only 8. Our schools get so much funding for these children,
this child has an IEP and a 504, attended pre-school for free but no one
is protecting the child who isn't able to hide behind an IEP. We now have
to pay to ensure that our son gets a chance to learn in a safe
"What about the kids who have these "disabilities" who are bullying other
kids? Why isn't this addressed? I'm so tired of hearing "johnny is
special...go back to your seat and quit bothering him" or "don't pick on
her...she's handicapped..i don't care if she just intentionally shoved and
screamed at you..it's all your fault". I have sympathy for children who
are bullied, but sometimes children use their disabilities to take
advantage of the system while still being categorized the "poor disabled
student who can't help it".
"this is so sad i just cant believe this.God will protect her and her
"My grandson has Asperger's and has been the victim of bullying too many
times to remember. We only reported it once, as we did not want it to be a
problem that comes back or have him suffer more from upset teachers,
parents, children. Unless you've had a child who gets in the car after
school and burst into tears from the pain he has held inside all day, you
just don't realize the ramifications that bullying causes. We were probably
all bullied as children growing up, that is simply part of the process of
learning how to deal with others, but a child with a disability does not
possess the ability to process the meanness. Most Asperger's children are
sweet and donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t understand why another would intentionally hurt him or
her. I know they can be disruptive to a class and annoying to other
children and make the teacherÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s day more difficult, but their actions are
not intentional, bullying is.
"I have a 13 year old daughter who has a learning disability, and suffers
from ADD and anxiety. She was bullied at her previous elementary school,
and now attends an alternative school for kids with special needs. She is
doing well at her new school, but still suffers from self esteem issues
because of the bullying. I find it alarming and sad that as the article
stated, a lot of teachers don't see anything wrong with bullying. From my
daughter's experience, that was true. Any adult who would stand by and
watch a child being bullied, and not do anything about it should be
ashamed of him or herself, and certainly does NOT belong in a classroom.
"Bullying at its worst. Mental disabilities. Not everyone is born with the
same learning aptitude, and therefor are subject to bullying. Anybody
experiencing similar problems, please contact me, or post a comment on my
"things like ths give me hope to stay in school i was burned severly at the
age of 4 so i have had multiple surgeries ad sometimes have to miss school
for weeks due to it. i get teased all the time for my scars and weight and
i even go to a christian private school but after we told the principle
also my bible teacher he preached to the class since jesus was treated
poorly we shouldnt expect any better. i also have been made fun of my
religion because i am catholic and go to a christian school, but we went
to the christian school because it was smaller. i am a jounior and high
school and this is the 3rd school i have been to in 3 years. i am losing
hope and my parents wont let me swich schools again. this helped alot"
"Thank you for sharing what sounds like a your wonderful program for kids
with autism and other LDs.
Our programs start in pre school and we go into classrooms, help children
identify their feelings and provide them with the language that promotes
sharing, friendship and kindness.
Many kids with a high self-esteem and an over blown sense of entitlement
bully as well.
Thank you for all that you do. Bullying is pervasive and can change the
entire course of a person's life.
"My grandson with Aspergers has also been bullied all his school life. They
are a target because of language delay and quirkeness.They have a harder
time trying to report to the teacher and usually the teacher kicks it off
by saying boys will be boys. We heard this through black eyes and bloody
noses and bruises. No one seems to ever see or hear what happens. They see
the blood, but ignores what even the other children tell, because they
would be forced to say yes we have bullies and we even have some teacher
bullies. The shame of the teacher deal is usually it is the teacher being
clueless. The teachers that deal with lunch, recess, halls ,reading
,speech, are not attuned to your child. There may be a board member that
is over special ed. , but rarely are the teachers that deal with your
child most of the day. At age 11 we placed him in a private school. All
children in this school have an IEP . It is life changing. It is a
college prepatory School. 30,000 a year. The !
states should learn from these types of schools. Bullies should be dealt
with sharply and immediately. The problem is usually the bully is a
teachers kid or someone that donates to sports or someone the teachers are
afraid of and there is no money to educate or provide alternatives to the
good kids. Schools attuned should be read by all.(By Mel Levine) (Tony
Atwood) on Aspergers should be read by all. Most teachers have no clue. My
Grandsons School was a joke. The principal was the biggest bully of all.
The amount of Bullies that are teachers is mind boggeling. There is a
company that provides help for Schools, but a lot Schools say , they have
no problem. even when they have kids killing themselves because of it.
Money seems to always be the reason that public Schools cant help IEP
Children. You will see very few teachers of the caliber I am speaking of
in our public Schools. I dont know about other areas. I do know I have
hundreds of emails stating the same problems th!
at have children on the spectrum. They also echo that public s!
chools are not prepared to deal with these kids. Most still have the high
school mentality. They are not forced to comply with how the Children
learn. They expect the Children that cant, not wont , to comply to them.
Vanderbuilt Childrens Hospital and The university of North Carolina
Childrens Group can help you. Tony Atwood
has written the best book on aspergers. Please know you are not alone in
this problem. Sometimes you can find a private Christian School that is
affordable. You cant win with our public schools. All you get is your
child being treated so badly to get back at you. Your child suffers if you
try to get in their pocketbook or if you do not agree that they are
professional educators and do not have to listen to your Doctors, only
take the information under consideration. They are above the law. They say
there bylaws are better than the states, more rigid, therefore they go by
there rules, which include the states but has addons. I still think that
is rewritting the state law. Its like they say they only have 18 in a
classroom , but my child always had at least 28 and sometimes 31. I think
they count the parents that come in early to pick up their children?
University School is also a possibility. Two days in the building and 3
days at home. If your child is on the spectrum an!
d is being bullied please advocate for them with all you have. You are
all they have. Love them, protect them. It can destroy their selfesteem if
you dont advocate for them and help stop bullying and help get your child
teachers that are attuned to them. That are given new training on spectrum
children. That are given smaller mainstream classes. They need mainstream
just smaller classes 8 to 1 ratios. They need a handpicked classroom. They
do better in gifted than in delayed classes. There are realy good doctors
that have written books to help you. You must work harder than you ever
have to advocate and make sure you help your child have good feedback.
They respond to ataboys more than critisism. They need help staying on
track. Just a little nudge with a smile is worth a lot. "
"My son is Autistic and is in a gerenral educational classroom. In second
grade in was bullied so many times by one child that the boy was expelled
and placed in a different school. My son is polite, kind and
impressionable. He just wants a friend. He does not understand social
bondries but he tries to be friends no matter what the cost. The school
has a zero tollerance for bulling but the first week of third grade the
boy on the bus and on the playground are back to bulling. My son has
already been in the principals office defending himself against a
bullie.It is difficult to trust that anything will be done. It took a
month of abuse before anything was done last year. I don't expect much
difference this year. I have tried to place social goals on my sons IEP to
address social issues but to my prespective these goals are not being
addressed. I have to monitor the situation all the time. You would expect
that the school with zero tollerence would teach more tollerance for sp!
ecial needs then they do. They teach the child who is bullied but they do
not teach the child who is going to bully any coping techniques before
they happen. Bulling at such a young age leads to bigger and badder things
in the future. Would it not benefitt all schools to teach anger management
not only to the teachers but to students. Not all parent roll models will
teach right from wrong that is when it takes a village (school) to teach
the child what is exceptable and what is not. The child with special needs
have enough battles in life they don't need to fight thier friends,
teachers and classmates."
"Our child's bully is the child of a person in administration, so we've
have zero cooperation. Not only that, we are now looked upon as
troublesome parents because we have tried to protect our son's rights.
Because of severe anxiety that resulted from a physical assault and sexual
harassment that occurred on school property, our child did not feel safe
in the school environment and we requested a paraprofessional. That was
denied. Our child is on medical leave for severe anxiety and we have
still been threatened with truancy. We requested homebound, and after a 3
1/2 hour meeting, we came out with a bare minimum, because this is not the
least restricted environment. We stressed that our child's psychiatrist
only recommended homebound because we weren't awarded a para. We have
strong advocates--our child's psychiatrist, psychologist, and a retired
special education director. Nothing seems to make much difference.
Parents are part of the IEP team in name only--they are a!
lways trumped by the school."
"I have a child with special needs who just started attending a 'typical'
class for the first time. He experienced bullying the 1st week of school.
He is only 5! This has been my biggest fear and concern for him. I have
a 14 yar old who does not have a disability who has been getting cyber
bullied for te lst 10 months now. I even pulled her out of the school
that she was in and yet the bullies are still doing everything that they
can to put her down. Bullying has NO BOUNDARIES as far a I can see."
"I think it's awful that teachers see nothing wrong with bullying. This is
a BIG problem in our schools.
My son suffers with ADHD and it's enough that he has
to deal with it on his own terms, but then to have someone who is a total
jerk bully him, I feel like I want to smack the kid myself. Kids should be
taught from parents and teachers that bullying ANYONE is NEVER the right
thing to do!"
"WE NEED SEPARATED SCHOOLS FOR CHILDREN WITH DISABILITIES. THEY NEED TO BE
PROTECTED FROM THE SO CALL 'NORMAL CHILDREN'."
"I admire the advice to be aware of your child possibly being a bully, but
in reality parents of bullys dont care one iota. 'Its not their kid' so
its not their problem. Very frustrating."
"IT is absolutely wonderful that you are bringing this issue to the
forefront. There needs to be a lot more dialogue and, yes, action on this
crisis in our schools. Bullying is no longer a quick one on one fight in
the playground and then grudging friendship. It has become a viscious,
demoralizing campaign waged by children who wish the attention to be off
of them; kids who need to put others down to put themselves up. AS a MOm
and school employee I've seen both sides.
A few schools near us have succesful 'no-tolerance' programs, but most
like my son's 'blue ribbon school' of excellence tend to ignore the
problem until thereis a tragedy. One boy my son knows was bullied until
he brought a knife to school to 'scare off' his abusers. Guess who was
sent out on home teaching while the bullies weren't even reprimanded. An
over-weight girl attempted suicide when the taunts became too much. (These
are only the situations he is aware of) ANd, yes, I repeat this is a
'blue ribbon school' in suburban Long Island.
No tolerance policies have to be 'for real'. Sensitivity training for
teachers should be mandatory. Bullies need to be stopped in their tracks
and dealt with sensitively. How aobut small contact groups for students
in which they can discuss social issues? Let's stop the Columbines before
"I think the 25% of teachers that think nothing is wrong with bullying need
to get sued if somnething happens on their watch. You put some financial
pressure in the mix and people will all of a sudden wake up. There is no
excuse for any child to be bullyed or made to feel uncomfortable at school
and guess what the teachers need to make that happen as part of their JOB.
Thank God I don't have to deal with this much, my child has been blessed
with very good social skills but if my child were being bullied you bet
I'd be down there at the school and you know what the kid should not have
to be transferred the bully should be kicked out! "
"That is so true. AD/HD kids are easy become targets of bullying. My son
has AD/HD. He got bullying in school a lot. He got name calling all the
time in school. I always tell him to walk away because he can be very
sensitive and over reacting sometimes. However, it doesn't help. Other
kids just do it even more. Once, a girl in his school kept calling him
loser every time she sees him. He finally tried to fight back by pushing
her. However, the girl received no punishment but told not to do it
again. My son received detention. He got in this kind trouble all the
time in school. I am a heartbroken mother. I don't know how to help him
and I feel the school is not helping. I wish government should require
teachers and school administrators to have some classes of understanding
learning disable students since the number of this kind kids are
"This article is very simple as well as absolutely correct when it comes to
AD/HD and bullying. A child with AD/HD is usually bullied and also ignored
by his classmates. Never feeling comfortable when trying to join a play
group, the child lives in fear and never enjoy being around kids his age.
He can only confine in adults.
The problem with schools - elementary especially - is that they do not
help children to form assigned play groups and make sure that every one
gets to be included during playground time. If the P.E. time is about a
ball game, no one cares enough to make sure that the ADHD kid gets to kick
or toss the ball too without fear.
Parents of typical kids should never forget that it could be their child
who is 'the weird one' and make sure that their children (no matter how
perfect on their eyes) know not to be mean and take the side of the
oppressed instead of the oppressor.
The AD/HD kid is usually a great kid who wants more than anything to make
a friend, he will be loyal and will expect the same. Is this so difficult
to teach ? I have one, he has only been invited to a birthday party ONCE
in 8 years of school!!! He is the most normal looking kid, just little
impulsive, most often accused of being the bully because he does not
understand the fine tuning of discreet retaliation. Under medication he is
a 1000 times more polite and pleasant than most others. Give them a