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Spinning in My Head

A seventh grader with a learning disability explains how he gets into the good zone when things are spinning in his head.

By Henry Sherwin

What's good and smart about me? I have a good memory and can remember songs and what people say in movies. Animals love me because I'm not afraid, and they sense this. I'm good at playing the clarinet and the saxophone. And I can make anyone laugh with my voices and faces.

But I have trouble with other things. My mother and teachers call it a learning disability. This means I can't learn things as fast as other kids, and languages are harder.

When It Started

At the end of second grade, I could still only read the words "Henry," "pizza," and "the." My mom took the summer off from work to help me learn to read.

She made flash cards like the baseball cards I collected. The cards had sounds, funny sounds like "ing." We made silly words with them and real words, too. When I got frustrated, she would do the silly words until we both were laughing. We read three or four times a day…and ate a lot of ice cream!

In third grade I went to a tutor and began to read even faster. But things were still hard for me. The hardest thing was that people saw I had problems.

It's tough when I see others succeeding, and I just can't do it as easily. It feels like there are too many things going on in my head - spinning around. Sometimes I can't calm them down to get the information I need.

Why I Get Frustrated

If I don't understand things right away, or if I feel I'm not on the same level as other kids, then I get frustrated. The frustration makes me feel I don't want to do it because it's stupid. I don't want people to talk to me or to help me. I just fall apart.

I like getting help from my classmates because they think more like I do. They don't try to make me special. They explain it and let it go. With teachers, if you don't understand it one way, they show it to you another way. That really makes it worse because I get more confused. I see too many things coming at me. Kids explain things in a regular way — over and over. That works for me.

I can play tennis really well, but team sports aren't good for me. I get angry at the ball hogs — the kids who think it's all about them. When I get frustrated and angry, I don't play well.

With tennis, it's just me. I can see what I'm doing wrong and find a way to change it because I'm on my own. When I'm playing tennis and I get frustrated, I can go some place in my head to overcome the frustration. But when I'm on a team, it's impossible for me to find that place.

I see that tennis helps in school because the more I play tennis and the harder it gets, the more I see I can work harder and do better the next time. If I make mistakes, I can still keep going.