By Robbie Fanning, M.A.
The truth is that none of these children is "unmotivated." In fact, they're highly motivated - to avoid public humiliation or failure.
While children with learning problems must work hard to do well in school, not all struggle emotionally. Why is one child motivated and another gives up before he tries?
Much research has been done over the years on motivating children with learning disabilities (LD) or AD/HD. It tells us that the main reasons these children withdraw mentally from school is fear of failure, frustration with inconsistent performance (good one day, stumbling the next), lack of understanding the schoolwork, emotional problems, anger, or desire for attention - even negative attention.
The behavior that accompanies this dampened motivation may range from quitting ("school is boring"), avoiding any attempt ("I'm stupid; why try?"), clowning (for attention), denying ("I don't care about English"), being impulsive ("There! I'm done!"), or bullying (picking on someone smaller).
We also know that of the brain's various learning systems, if the emotional system is in turmoil, the cognitive system must expend energy on it before the brain can focus to learn. This means you must help your child talk about his feelings before you can figure out how to motivate him to do math or to write essays. Help him to see the pattern of his behavior and to understand why he doesn't feel motivated to succeed at school.
Babies are born with an inherent drive to learn. Your challenge as the parent of a child with learning or attention problems is to help him build what Drs. Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein (Raising Resilient Children: Fostering Strength, Hope, and Optimism in Your Child) call "islands of competence," to offset the frustrations and low self-esteem that can result from his learning struggles. The goal is to find subjects or activities where he is self-motivated to learn, enjoys the process of learning, and sees the value of what he learns.
Deborah Stipek, Ph.D, Dean of the Stanford University School of Education, is an expert in the subject of motivation in young children. She's also a mother, so her latest book, Motivated Minds/Raising Children to Love Learning, is full of practical advice.
Dr. Stipek says kids will be self-motivated to learn when they:
One way to build a sense of competence in your child is to encourage his passions. There's an academic payoff to building competence this way. Dr. Stipek says, "The good news may seem paradoxical: research has shown that the indirect strategy of helping your child enjoy learning and see its value is the best way to improve your child's grades and raise his test scores."
If your child has a particular strength in school, such as being a math whiz, find ways outside of school to expose him to math in the real world - computers, hands-on science museums, and math camps.
If he struggles with most school subjects, look elsewhere for his passions. Pay attention to whatever makes your child perk up. Is it animals? Plants? Music? Art? Dinosaurs? Video games? Skateboards?
To play on these passions, help your child deepen his knowledge. For example, if your Internet provider allows you space for a family website, let the child help build one on his favorite subject. He could research and write about the foremost skateboard athletes in the world. Post his drawings of himself skateboarding the galaxy. List unanswered questions about skateboards. Let family and friends interact with the website, too - what else would they like to know from your in-house skateboard expert?
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