My partner and I don’t agree on discipline

The problem: My partner and I don’t agree on discipline

Find common ground when it comes to discipline

Try this
Start by talking about things you agree on. You can’t build a strong parenting strategy focused on differences. When the kids are away, list the values you share. Is there a disciplinary tactic you both support? Avoid talking about your differences for now. Save that for later.

Agree to disagree

Try this
Remember different points of view can be beneficial and that there is more than one right way to do things. You’re also showing your child how to handle it when they don’t agree with friends or classmates.

It’s not a fight you can win

Better not
Try not to see this as a battle of wills. You “win” is really your child’s loss. It’s tough to take the high road when your partner is so obviously wrong. But remember, your partner thinks you’re wrong, too.

Try this
Say to the other parent:
“I know we see things differently, but let’s talk about what we agree on. We both love our kids. We both want them to be healthy, happy, responsible, wise. Let’s about our differences in private.”

Say to your child:
“You’ve probably noticed we don’t always agree. But we’re going to work things out because we both love you and want what’s best for you.”

Don’t treat your child like a friend to confide in

Avoid this
“Your mother/father is driving me crazy! I fee like I’m dealing with a 42-year-old child.”

Why

You and your spouse may weather these conflicts, but parents fighting is far scarier for kids — especially when things gets heated. It confuses and upsets them and strikes at the very heart of their sense of security. You’re like their nation, and this nation is experiencing a civil war!