In her groundbreaking book, Mindset, Carol Dweck reveals the many ways well-meaning parents can undermine their children’s progress. Her advice for how to calm an easily frustrated child may surprise you.
Video transcript: "Some children have a low frustration level. Some kids just come that way. And some kids get that way when they start thinking, ‘Oh, I’m not getting this, I’m not good at this, it means I’m not this great, wonderful, worthy person.’ And that’s the time to really do two things. One is teach a growth mindset: that abilities grow over time, and these hard tasks are the ones that build those abilities. And the other thing is praise the process. A lot of parents react to a struggling, frustrated child, ‘Oh, you’re smart, you’re so smart, don’t worry, you’re so smart.’ No. That backfires because they are taking the struggle as evidence they’re not smart. Praise the process. Praise how hard they’re working, how they’re focusing, the strategies they’re using, the progress they’re making over time. When you focus on those things in what they’re doing, they won’t be as frustrated. They’ll start valuing that process."