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Switching schools


mobopolo August 16, 2013

My 8th grade son struggled in his old school and got himself into trouble while there. Mostly minor, but I feel it was enough of a nuisance that he made a name for himself. He decided he wanted a change and we supported the idea allow him to change to another public middle school about 10 min. from his old school. He seemed excited about the change. We are into the second day at his new school and he won't let up about how much he hates it and that he misses his friends. Now what? We are staying positive, encouraging him and have some support from his counsler at his new school. He's adamant that we let him go back to his old school and that he will do his best while there. Please help with any advice.

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MagnetMom August 17, 2013

Hi mobopolo, and welcome to the GreatSchools Parent Community.

You have your hands full. If you let him go back, you know there's a good chance he can revert back to his old behavior. And if you make him stay, he's gonna be miserable, and make you miserable every day.

I'd say make him give it a few weeks, a month, or even the semester, and then tell him if he still feels that way, he can go back (assuming he's on his best behavior until that time). On the other hand, if you think he can be motivated by the will to stay at the old school, move him now and his staying there will be based on his ability to keep his nose clean.

After a few days, he hasn't adjusted yet, so with time he really could come to like the new place, but on the other hand, if he's miserable, it's at least worth coming up with some kind of a compromise.

Good luck, and my heart really goes out to both of you.


mobopolo August 18, 2013

Thanks so much for your support MagnetMom. Our son is of the belief that if we send him back and he gets into trouble again, that we will send him to the school that he doesn't want to currently be in anyway. I've even thought of writing up a contract that we all sign that backs that idea up. My concern is mostly with the Vice Principle at his old school. She seems unwilling to work on soltions and is quick to suspend. He also has a IEP and I think his learning disablities effect his social skills. His last one day suspension was because he and a friend were goofing off in gym and his friend slamed his head down on the gym floor. He said it hurt so bad, and to sheild the tears he left the gym. They had a sub and he didn't come back when the sub called him to come back. He went straight to the nurse. The sub reported it and they suspended him for being insubordinate. It's really frustrating. I asked about a in school suspension where he could still do his work. They said they don't have the staff to do in school suspensions. He says he's learning from his mistakes which is a huge step, because some of the things he's done in the past he denied all together. His grades are all over the place. A's in some and F's in others. The teachers say the F's are mostly for missing work. When he turns things in, he does pretty good. Also, one of his friends he got into trouble with has moved out of town. He keeps reinforcing that fact too. My gut feeling is to let him try again at his old school, my husband isn't so sure. We've talked a lot to him about how people judge based on passed experiences, I think he's starting to get it. So now I feel stuck in the middle. Thanks for letting me vent and for any advice.

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