By Dr. Michelle Alvarez, Consulting Educator
My 9-year-old granddaughter is a bully. She starts arguments with others and upsets the entire classroom. She disrespects the teachers and has a terrible attitude. Can you give us some suggestions to help overcome these problems?
Parenting style and family experiences can often contribute to a child's bullying behavior at school. Children who bully often have difficulty managing their own emotions and getting along with others. They bully as a means of regaining back a sense of control.
It is important for the school and the parents to work together to intervene and change this behavior. Your granddaughter must learn what behavior is expected of her and she needs to know the consequences if she engages in bullying. These consequences must be implemented with consistency. By working with the school, consistency is created between the home and school. This will require ongoing meeting as a result of incidents and between incidents.
It is important to also identify times when she is not bullying and foster this behavior by praising her during for appropriate behavior.
Your granddaughter needs to learn to acknowledge her actions, as well as the results of her behavior on herself and the effect it has on others. This can be accomplished by talking with her about what happened and how it affected the other child. If she takes responsibility or recognizes the impact of her behavior on the other child, praise her for taking responsibility for her actions and talk about ways she could have handled the situation differently.
Here are the questions you might want to ask:
If these strategies do not work, ask for assistance in helping your granddaughter. Consider working with one of the student services professionals in her school (school counselor, school social worker and/or school psychologist) to develop strategies to address the bullying behaviors.
Since your granddaughter spends so much time at school, implementing the same strategies at home and school can provide her with the consistency she needs to change behavior, and provide you and other family members support in helping eliminate the bullying.
Advice from our experts is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment from a health-care provider or learning expert familiar with your unique situation. We recommend consulting a qualified professional if you have concerns about your child's condition.
Sign up for our free newsletter and we'll send you
more just like it every week.
Thank you! You will begin to receive newsletters from us shortly.
Great work! Only one more step. Now we just need you to verify your email address. Please click on the link in the email we just sent you to complete your registration.
Great work! Only one more step. Now we just need you to verify your email address. Please click on the link in the email we just sent you to submit your review.
Please click on the link in the verification email we just sent you to complete your change of email address.
Whoops! It looks like we still need to verify your email. To do so, please click on the link in the email we sent you. Can't find the e-mail? Click the button below and we'll send you a new one.
Thanks for registering. Welcome to GreatSchools, the largest online community committed to improving educational outcomes through parental involvement.
Thanks for verifying your updated email address.
Oops! You haven't verified your email address yet. To do so, please click on the link in the email we sent you. Can't find the email? Click the button below to receive a new one.
Oops! That email verification link has expired. Please click the button below to receive a new one.
Create an account to submit your answers.
Sign in with an existing GreatSchools account or using Facebook:
Your review has been posted to GreatSchools.
Share with friends! Post your opinion of on Facebook.
Welcome to GreatSchools!
For principals and school officials, we offer a special Enhanced School Profile (ESP) which allows you to update and add information about your school, as well as respond to reviews. If you are a school official, click Continue to start.
Please note that it can take up to 48 hours for your comment to be posted to our site. While you're here, we'd like to invite you to fill out a survey on your school's programs, activities, and extracurriculars. It only takes a few minutes and will help parents get a full picture of your school.
Get started now! You have successfully registered and can now start updating your Official School Profile. The information you provide is extremely valuable in helping parents and students learn more about your school, so thanks for taking the time!
Thank you for registering as a school leader. We just need to verify your email address. We've sent you an email - please click on the link in that message to get started editing your school's information!
Thanks! We just sent you an email – please click on the link in the email to post your answers.
Get timely updates for , including performance data and recently posted user reviews.