"Apparently, Dr. Alvarez thinks that if you're being attacked, you should
just curl up into a ball and try to "talk it out" with your assailant
while you're getting your head kicked in. People out in the street have
the legal right to use reasonable force to stop a physical assault, yet
for some reason students inside a school are not given this same right.
Furthermore, this "doctor" doesn't even realize that there's a difference
between fighting and self-defense. "Fighting" involves a mutual dispute
where both parties are willing participants. "Self-defense" involves a
perpetrator who's intent on harming another person, and a victim who
merely wishes to avoid being harmed.
"My child has had an incident today where a kid punched him in the face and
pushed his head down and kneed him in the face over a soccer game. My
child did not retaliate because he knew he would be suspended if he hit
back so he copped 20 hits to the face, bruises are showing. The
repurcussion for the child is 4 days suspension. The school can't do
anything more until he does this again. My fear as a parent is that he
will pick my child to hit again because he knew not to retaliate so it is
a safe situation for him to choose my child as the victim. How do I
justify to my child that it is best not to hit back. I feel like I give
bad advice when I say that I am proud of him for not hitting back. Great
advice Mum but he said he can't be hit that much again, it hurt. What do
I do?? How do I make my child feel safe in this environment so that he
can trust my judgement again. Help "
"After reading this article, it is really clear why problems exist. Dr.
Alvarez, you are an educated and accomplished woman, who CLEARLY has a
skewed view of what is REALLY going on in our local schools. It is NEVER
alright for bullying, harassment, threatening to take place, EVEN if
"something inappropriate was said". It doesn't ALWAYS take two people to
fight. My daughter was recently attacked from behind by a student who had
harassed and threatened her. All of this happened on the school campus
and was captured on video on an accomplices cell phone (which was later
loaded to Facebook). My daughter had previously brought these issues to
the school administration. Instead of protecting her, she was made to
sign a "harassment contract" and was disciplined for Defiant Behavior
under CA Ed Code 48900(K). I spoke directly with the school
administration when this incident happened and I was told something
completely different than what my daughters discipline record repo!
rts. When my daughter was attacked, she too was suspended from school,
because she "fought back". Even though the previously mentioned video
shows her being stalked for 30 second prior to the attack and CLEARLY
defending herself. For "participating" in the incident, my daughter was
Suspended under CA ED Code 48900 (a)(1) and (k). And by the way, my
daughter suffered a Closed Head Injury and nose injury. I have to agree
with the previous comment that was made, that we are receiving "lip
service" from those who are in charge and while these policies represent a
great effort and look GREAT on paper, they are failing!
"Educators are not trained to stop bullying. They have training in
something, but that training has no effect. It perhaps could, but that
takes effort to use. "Drive-by" bullying prevention doesn't work and by
2nd grade the kids are smart enough to fool the teachers and can even
cause their victims to get into trouble instead of them. The reason is
educators have a complete lack of knowledge about young human beings.
Moreover, they respond not by using conscious thinking applying training,
but by the same part of the brain these children are driven by. They
become part of the crowd. Ask any child who is bullied and they'll tell
you the teachers don't do anything and often make it worse. Bullying
exists in K-12 because of the training the educators get - because of the
environment they set up. Ask any of them why kids bully and they'll cite
causation that has no empirical basis. In short, they have no clue. I've
heard educators cite social immaturity of the victim. A!
re you kidding me?! That attribution is the most obvious evidence
educators do not have any relevant training - their education completely
omits most of the most relevant science related to their jobs. The
education they have about children is so outdated or based on original
theories long outdated and irrelevant that they need a complete paradigm
shift. No, educators are not trained to deal with bullies. You can cite
theory to explain practice all you want, but the reality reveals that when
it comes to K-12 education, theory and practice are two very different
things. The problem is with the education curriculum and academe and
their insistence at blaming the victims and the parents. And with teacher
unions there isn't much anything can be done about it. If you want to
stop bullying, you need to educate the educators, get rid of the damn
teacher unions and fire bad educators.
"I disagree completely as a fresh out of high school student I know why
type of bullying there is . Many of you adults believe its still the same
as it was in your time but truth is it is not! Technology is very advanced
ad well as other things. Most teachers, counsalers, etc. do not do
anything or they do not do the right thing ! What schools need are real
professionals that care about what they are doing. If not which I doubt
will happen means more kids will be bullied and this affects them forever(
as many of you will remember ) .
"Schools need to wake up! Bullying is real and it is dangerous. The
schools and your column are merely giving lip service. When a bully
attacks a child, schools expect a child to just sit and get pummeled into
the ground. My daughter was attacked after school on a vacant
playground. She was attacked from behind, punched in the back of the neck
and dragged to the ground by her hair. She fought back. Both of them got
suspended. My daughter's neck is still terribly sore 1 week later. Equal
treatment for victim and bully is stupid. I think anyone who advocates
this equal treatment should be taken out and beaten senseless. You are a
enabler and a moron, Dr. Alvarez.
"I cannot BELIEVE that you just said "you may be affording him the
counseling and help needed to CHANGE INAPPROPRIATE behavior." You
just blamed the victim!!!! Shame on you Dr. Alvarez.
"What do you do when a guidence counseler calls foul play ....competitive
play..even after my son suffers a concussion after the "bully" jumps up
and elbows my son in the back..knocking him to the ground? Then even after
the complaint, the "bully" continues to elbow in the back and trys to trip
my son during a game, and still.. this is considered competitive play???
Also, Ive went to the principal and it seems like the guidence counseler
later alters the principals response,.....after the principal agrees he
doesnt see this as an accident or competitive play...
"As someone who was bullied in school and had her parents step in, it made
it worse. Children are vicious. If it's not in school, they'll do it
whenever they see you.... I'm not above fighting back and when I finally
did knock down the boy who kept harassing me, it stopped. All of his
followers quit also. Sometimes fighting back is the only option and when
kids see that this nation retaliates to being attacked with war, how can
they legally say that it's wrong to fight back?
"Like the first story my son also had to attend a alternate school for
defending himself and another friend, The school is calling it assault,
can somone please help me understand why our children canot defend
themselves without be accused of such a terrible crime as assault. The
juvinile officer also told me that in the state of missouri if you see
somone getting hurt/raped you have to retreat if possible but if you could
not and faught back that you would find yourself with assault charges.
REALLY please explain this to me.
"this is BS! why should a victim be treated the same as a bully!? the
victim did nothing but defend himself! The U.S school system is whack!
"I think that a child who's chronically the victim of physical bullying
because s/he has a developmental/neurological disability really should be
taught how to protect him or herself in the event that the bullying
persists, and doesn't stop, no matter what is tried. All too often,
school authorities and teachers just simply sit back and do or say nothing
to stop bullying, so what choice does a kid who's constantly under
physical attack have sometimes? Besides, there's nothing wrong with a kid
sticking up for him or herself if necessary.
"I spent 28 years as an educator, 4 as teacher, 13 as a building
administrator, both elementary and secondary, and the last 8 as
superintendent of schools and I firmly believe children should be
encouraged to defend themselves even if they lose the fight. Bullies do
not pick on those who fight back so a one time fight might saves years of
future abuse. For those simply too small or overmatched to defend
themselves I took on the task and I could and would be just as mean and
violent as the bully I was dealing with. In those years I never involved
in a full blown fist fight but on several occasions I left bullies with
the option of taking a swing at me or backing down and I always
manipulated the situation so they would have to swing first. That way if
they in fact whipped me I would take them to court for assault and so win
or lose they were punished for their bullying tactics.
"WOW! just... WOW!
Dr. Alverez if that is the advice your giving then you need to lose your
job as an "Expert" immediately! That is some of the worst advice Ive ever
heard and you information about what the schools know and are trained in
is WAAAY off.
"And why exactly do we "have to" treat the victim and aggressor equally?
The article states this as if it is a given, but my first thought was "And
why exactly is that someone we have to do?" Since there is no other area
of life where a victim and an aggressor are both treated the same, I would
like a good explanation as to why it should apply in this situation.
"Wow... This article is ridiculous! My son has been bullied at school for
years and the bullies never get punished. When my son reacts or tries to
defend himself, he gets in trouble. The boy who called my son "gay" did
not get in trouble. My son who replied with "jerk" got detention. It's
been like this for years and there is no improvement in sight! It's very
frustrating and I am so sick of the victim taking all the blame and
getting all the punishment!
"my child was put in out of school alternative for trying to defend
someone being bullied, and the bully swung at him and he fought back now i
just wanted to know if i could do anything about this?
"The statement that "t we have to treat everyone equally, victim and
aggressor alike," is one of the most ridiculous statements I have heard
regarding this issue.
Bullying is a crime. Physical, sexual and emotional intimidation and
harassment is not acceptable in the workplace, and it should not be
tolerated in our schools either.
Ms. Alvarez--if you were the victim of a crime I'm sure you would
appreciate the fact that the law does not treat the victim and the
aggressor equally. A victim is supported, and a criminal punished. To
suggest otherwise is ludicrous.
""To say that it takes two to fight is a cliche that is simply not true. It
only take one individual with the wrong attitude to prey on the innocent."
"My son has been choked,(had to be taken to the emergency room),also jumped
on by a group of kids,each time he did not fight back.Police, School
Staff,School District was notifed and nothing was done,the same kid that
choked him ,hit my son in the face and this time my hit him back and was
suspened.I have had all I can take.Enough is Enough "
"I love how it says "it takes two to fight." Wrong. It takes one to whoop
your ass. Teach your son to be a man, stand up for himself, and if he has
to spend a week in "in-school" suspension so be it. He'll never get picked
"This is the type of liberal BS that "educators" come up with. If your
theories worked then the problem would fix itself. If schools
condoned/taught defense then we would have much reduced bully problem.
The #1 thing to reduce bullies is from bystanders. Check out what the 2 HS
kids started with the pink shirt group. Its amazing.
But on a smaller scale if your kid has one word said to him, they they say
STOP, if they hear a 2nd word its ATTACK time, bullies attack because they
have no fear of you attacking back. Thats why they chose to attack you. If
my son gets suspended for "defense" then were taking that school given
"time off" and going to disney world.
I love worthless professors like you who couldnt hack it in the real world
then do "research" that does not involve real world situations. See I
attacked you and if you return with "words" it doesnt matter because I
already attacked you and made you feel worthless. You may say otherwise
but you know I hurt you. See thats what a bully does.
BTW kids lie in your "studies" just a lil FYI, it makes for good articles
and research but no real world actiions.
The school Bully Proff gives kids real tools to help "
"I have always been told 'if they hit first, you're allowed to hit back'. I firmly believe that this is fair. The old saying is 'sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you' is very untrue. I've been called stupid, fat, and ugly before, and it hurts. Never let a bully keep you down. Treating the aggressor the same as the victim is absolutely ridiculous.
"This is BS.
My kid is going to defend himself. He will grow into adulthood knowing
that he has the right to defend himself, and the school doesn't have the
right to tie his hands behind his back. Further, there are no magic
adults to fix his problems, who will put his rights and interests before
their own, other than his own parents.
Jacksonville, FL is a military town - there are a lot of military families
in our schools who feel likewise. "
"you should bring up a zero tolerence to bullies
"Another child had been bullying my son for a month on the school bus then
one day he hit my son in the face now the school sees my son as a problem
because he gets picked on by others and the school feels my son should go
to another school.My son had reported the bullying to the school befor he
was hit in the face. The school is not getting rid of the problem by
pushing my son out of the school. The problem will still be there and it
will be someone elses child that will be getting hit by the same child
that hit my son."
"I'm one of those students that was bullied. I went to school everday from
fourth to sixth grade and put up with verbal bullying until I could handle
it no more an fired back. I was then told by my parents that they were
pulling me and my sisters out of school to homeschool us. And thank god
they did. "
"my son just got kicked out of school this morning for fighting. He had no
prior problems with this student. The boy had been held down and burnt
with a glue gun. He lied and said he done it his self my son and another
student reported it to their teachers. This made the boy mad and he hit
my son. my son fought back ended up getting knocked on the ground and
kicked in the forehead. No I have a $135 doctor bill my son looses his
grades for 4 days and has to attend Saturday school. He should not have
to stand there and let some kid beat on him with out defending his self
nor should he be punished for defending his self.
"I am a parent my daughter is in 6 grade, there was a situation with her
and some of her classmates. Couple days later the matter was brought to a
counselor's attention because a parent went to the office and reported it.
The report wasn't brought to my daughter's teacher attention. The parent
who made the first report that day still came to my daughter's class.
Called the teacher out first then the teacher called my daughter out of
class. That parent pointed to my daughter and said yes that's the girl
that's the girl right there, then went on to point her finger moving it up
and down telling my daughter I don't like the idea that your threating my
daughter and that you can have the boy because my daughter doesn't need to
be bothered by boys, and that she's here for here education. While this
conversation was going on my daughter was scared on top of that she was
crying. The teacher stood there and did nothing. When the conversation was
over the teacher's only words where go!
wash your face in the bathroom and when your ready come back into class.
The parent who told my daughter these things didn't even belong there, or
had the right to talk to my daughter and the teacher did nothing. What
would you do, would you consider this to be some form of harrassment and
intimidation, and if I could take this matter further in some kind of
legal procedure. I would really be interested in your opinion and advise.
Keep in mind that my daughter didn't threaten her daughter or is involve
with this boy. Thank you for takeing the time to read my comment."
"My jr. high daughter has been a victim of bullying for the past 3 years.
just recently she fought back against her attacker and received a 7-1.2
day suspension and the assistant principal is filing charges against my
daughter for assault and battery. This occured on fri. the 13th at 9:00 am
and we were not notified until 2:00 pm. Our daughter suffered a
contussion, bruising on her chest, a bloody nose which was concealed by
the assistant principal, bruised ribs, dizziness, and aches in her neck
from her hair being pulled out. We took her to the emergency room where
she received treatment and a cat scan was performed to rule out a
concussion. The hospital staff contacted authorities who filed a complaint
and we were urged to file a complaint. The bullying has been going on for
several years and our daughter has been living a nightmare. She finally
fought back . We have always told our children to speak up for what is
right and to defend themselves if need be. We are at thi!
s point prepared to take legal action against the school as well as the
perpetrator. We are disgusted and angry that this school has adopted the
zero tolerance policy but has failed to apply it and analyze this problem.
Three fights have already broken out over the past 2-1.2 months and we
live in a very affluent community and pay an exhorbant amount of school
taxes.The assistant principal displays anger when dealing with students,
irrational behavior, and lacks compassion, humility and integrity. She
displays no self control and uses intimidation and scare tactics to
humiliate and degrade the students. Her character is less than desirable
and this continued behavior is unacceptable. Our daughter has never
displayed acts of violence nor has she ever been accused of acting out in
a violent manner. But the perpetrator has already been suspended for
hitting another student and making derogatory remarks to a mentally
challenged student. What was my daughter suppose to do? Lay !
there and get beaten? What if the girl had a knife? And to all!
ow my daughter to sit at the school for 5 hours without any medical
attention and without notifying us is against family rights. We are
extremely unhappy. "
"What a wonderful world it must be, to live this fantasy. Perhaps the
police should treat victim and aggressor alike, as you do--that would
solve as many problems as your 'solutions' claim to. "
"I find the concept of treating the bully and the victim 'the same' a bit
sick. My child, who is martial arts trained and could defend themselves
well was so disheartened after sixth grade, I pulled this child out and
home-schooled them. My child chose not to use violence in any form
(abhored the concept of even verbal violence and yet was getting so angry
that they were considering being as verbally and physically abusive as
they were being treated out of sheer frustration). What a great year of
discovery and relationship building we had. It was a challenge, but we
chose a homeschool curriculum and learned lots. In sixth grade my child
was failing math. When my child returned to school in eighth grade B's
and A's became the norm. Still the school sought to bad-mouth our
home-schooling efforts. Before leaving school, this child's posture was a
perpetual C-curve. After a year of home-schooling, I could see the proud,
upright stance had returned. I know many, even most pa!
rents can't afford a year off to homeschool, but if you possibly can, it
just might open up a new world for child and parent.
We found bullying simply wasn't taken seriously at our school, an
'award-winning' school. Academic Test results only give one view of a
schools profile. How they treat the kids and how they implement their
supposed 'no tolerance' policy is a big part of your child's overall
educational experience. Apparently some schools do it better than others.
Sadly for the kids and their emotional scars.
Schools are in one sense a holding pen for kids while their parents work.
With the high salaries received by veteran teahcers and administrators and
the tremendous school taxes being paid out by home-owners, schools should
return our chldren to us in the same or better shape than when they eft
home. Bullying should not be tolerated. Social education should not be a
fringe topic, but a major course of study. "
"thank you for the information on your web-sie , however i still am having
a few unanswered questions. my daughter is in the 3rd grade and she was
attacked today by a boy in her class. Ive told her to defend herself if
someone trys to harm her and that is just what she did. She is a very well
mannered kid and has never had an incident like this before. because of
the fact that she stood up for herself she lost recesses, and had to do
detention time, I was not notified of the incident until she came home
with a write up report. I have had issues wih the school recently with
kids bullying and still nothing was done. Even when she was sexually
grabbed in the chest by another child at the school... still nothing was
done. Im not sure what to do. I feel as though I want to transfer her to
another school however im not sure if thats the best thing to do in the
middle of the year. Please Help....... "
"I 100% agree with 10-6-08, my daughter was kicked by a boy in her class who is 10' taller than her, she kicked him back(because we told her to , we were tired of her being bullied) they were both suspended and got the same amount of time, I thought this was ridiculous, this kid admitted to kicking her first. We decided that the next time an incident occured we would not hit back we would give the school a chance to settle it, she was attacked in the locker room by a girl who started screaming and yelling in her face she used the back of her hand against her face to keep the breathe and the spit out of her face the girl than bent her hand back,my daughter pushed her to get her off of her hand the girl then started slapping her in the face several times until she fell on the floor and her glasses were knocked off, as she went for her glasses, the girl reached down and picked them up and bent them,my daughter ran to the school police who did nothing but send her to the office !
where she was made to feel because she put her hand up she probably made the girl mad.she was sent back to the locker room to gather her things(alone) which had been ripped and thrown around the locker room and some things stolen.The investigation said that my daughter lied people who were not in the locker room stepped up to say my daughter was lying. No one will tell on a bully and no one will tell on their friend. I took my daughter to the ER and gave them the report she had facial contussions they disregarded this and made me feel like my daughter and I were lairs. "
"We have a bully problem at middle school Evansville,In.Ours is a new student,the same boys take pencils get in his folders dump things,tried to block him in bathroom he pushed out, put garbage on table at lunch,poked in hall.I have called school 5 x and still calling this is now Dec.this a partial list,we told him time to take his part,the school is not doing there job.the supt. office is the next call."
"This answer is completely academic and has little practical value. I'm surprised you say 'it takes two people to fight' as this shows a real lack of understanding for what bullying is. The bottom line is that we should not punish a child for defending themselves. Furthermore, how exactly are we preparing the child for life beyond school? Bullies can appear at anytime in life. Who then should the child turn to for help? We need to support children in developing their own self-esteem. They should have the faith to rely on themselves, first and foremost, in difficult situations. We should not teach them to be victims. Natural self-esteem is often all that is needed to disarm potential bullies. Posted by a former 'victim'.
"punishing a kid for defending himself against a schoolyard bully/aggressor and giving him the same punishment is ludicrous and it is liberal. you who wrote this article pretty much state that a kid DOESN'T have the right to defend himself. Should a person be prosecuted and sent to prison for shooting a violent intruder in his home? punishing a kid for defending himself by giving him the same punishment as the aggressor quite frankly doesn't teach kids the difference between right and wrong. "
"well, ok. i believe you said he shouldnt have defended himslef, because it was probably against the school rules, or implied it. but bullying is probably against the school rules too, but the bully was bullying. you forgot to mention that. if it were me, i would have defended myself. i would rather take a kid out in self defense than get my face smashed in by a bully. "
"Hi my daughter is in the 6th grade and she has been taunted and teased and bullyed by the same 3 girls to the point of i'm ready to lose it..i decided to get a job at the school, to have the girls to bully me (an adult)i tryed going to the principle before, but nothen was getting done..so i thought i would work there to protect her, to get fired cause the girls would go to the principle office and say i was calling them bad names, to be told cause we have just moved to the area 7 months ago that we didn't have any rights cause we are new, not to complain and should just pretty much say and do nothen..we tryed everything to resolved this issue we tryed the principle's and tryed talking to the parents and even tryed killing them with kindness..so finally i told my daughter whom i have always told to walk away ,to fight back now..she needs not to be vitamize any more and i am thinking of inrolling her in some kind of marcial arts too...but we feel like vitaims from the school t!
o not only from the students..cause they are letting it happen! now i can see why kids go and shoot up the schools..they really need more inforcments when it comes to these kinds of sineros..and i do belive that the kids doing the bullying have not good home life. I did everything right...went to the priciple's tryed the parents and ect..so what else can my child do to stop them...i love my kids and i will put my boxing gloves on and someone is going to go down..cause what kind of mom would i be if i let this continue!!"
"My son is 6 and in 1st grade. I am considering private school for him. He will not defend himself or tell the teacher when someone does something. I think he feels embarassed when something happens and he does nothing about it and I am concerned about his self esteem. I think this is something that he will grow out of. Until then, I think a with smaller school and class size there will be fewer things happen. I hope."
"I have one little issue with the suggestion that a child should tell an adult about a 'problem before it gets physical'. My son is 6.5 and has a few issues at school. We have always counseled him to use words first (i.e., if someone is picking on him or hitting him, to tell them loudly, to 'STOP'.) BUT, if telling someone to stop doesn't work, I tell him to push them away from him physically. (Not to hit them, just to push them away if they don't listen to his 'STOP'.) At 6 years of age, in a new school, my son simply is not willing to talk to an adult he doesn't know. (He's moderately shy.) Unfortunately, his first attempt to tell a teacher of a problem ended with the teacher (a female) telling him to 'Shhhh'. A female student hat hit him, pushed him down and then kicked him. His school is taught almost exclusively by women. I have a feeling they just don't deal with boys very well. I'm reading every 'boy-based' development book I can find ('Real Boys', 'Raising Cain!
', 'The Minds of Boys', and 'Why Gender Matters' to name a few.) I'm hoping to better understand how his mind works so I can educate his teachers (who seem to have no clue...)"
"I have sat and watched my child fall apart - I am at my end with it! My child has respect for others and their belongings recently my son has been choked on the playground, thrown litterly out of a classroom against wall, had a frozen water bottle hit the back of his head almost knocking him unconcious, glasses broken 2 times now (which he needs being he has strabismus-of course school wont see this being I am not low income or the right creed!) Teacher accusing him of stealing a backpack in class - when in actuallity the students were harrassing him by knocking his books off desk and taking his backpack! I have filed several complaints and now it is worse! My son feels hated by everyone on campus, being harassed by students and acutlly crying in class in 7th grade! Its obvious we are not wanted! "
"A true bully will end up where he/she belongs...behind bars.
Bullies beget bullies beget bullies.
Parents of bullies were most likely bullies themselves.
People, teach your children right and they won't become bullies.
People, teach your children right and they will know how to handle bullies.
Call the police if they threaten your child!!!
Don't wait until it's too late."
"I am a parent of a 15 year old boy, and I had always taught him to defend himself if bullied. Now, I'm eating my words.
My son overheard people talking about a boy that 'wanted' to beat him up, so my son acted first by punching the boy in the face.
His explanation was that he was too scared to wait to see what the other boy would do, so he decided to strike first.
I am trying to un-do a lot of things I have told him.
This doesn't really teach our children anything; it puts fear into them that they must always be on the look-out for trouble."
"A true bully will not back off with intervenion. As a last resort I would let my son work over the school bully. All bullies stop when anyone gives him one in the chops."
"Hi i have been suspended from school for fighting on the bus after i was hit in the head twice and the first time i was hit i told the girl to stop ands she hit me again and i fought back now i have am suspended what i did was right some adults these days don't understand how just one little hit can just ruin you the whole time in school if i hadn't hit the girl back i would have been pick on and beaten up almost everyday I'm not a trouble maker at tall i receive A's and B's and i don't even curse or do drugs i just know when to draw the line they can say whatever they want to me but when u touch me its a different story."
"I completely and wholeheartedly agree with the statement made on 06/27!
I can't believe you would make such a statement, either."
"'But we have to treat everyone equally, victim and aggressor alike.'
You have got to be kidding! Thank goodness our justice system does not work this way. I can not believe you would make such a statement."
"MY SON USES HIS WORD POWER TO GET THOUGH THE MINOR SCRAPES WITH BULLIES IN THE HALLS AND ON THE PLAY GROUND. HE'S A BIG GENTLE BOY...BUT I'VE TOLD HIM, IF SOMEONE LAYS THEIR HANDS ON YOU YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DEFEND YOURSELF PHYSICALLY. AS I HAVE HAD TO DO IN THE PAST. WHEN YOU TALK TO THE TEACHERS ABOUT THESE BULLY KIDS, ITS REAL CLEAR THAT THEIR PARENTS ARE ABUSIVE AND ITS SUPPOSE TO BE REPORTED BY LAW. GET SOME GUTS, PEOPLE. NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE UNTIL WE CHANGE IT. "
"I would like to learn more about this particularly for preshoolers. My daughter is 4 years old and has, on numerous occasions, told me of a boy in her school who is 'mean', and hits the other kids, etc. Also, she has told me that no one likes her and that worries me too. How do I help her to have high self esteem?"
"My grandson has always been taught not to fight but after getting assaulted 6 times since starting middle school I am thinking of enrolling him in martial arts. "
"It's funny but the law for adults is that you can defend your person or your property from assault with equal force. How is it that teens are not afforded the same rights. You are assuming that an adult was available or present or willing to intervene. This is not always the case. "
"What do you do in the case where your child is acosted then you notify the school administration (principal) and they take no action? What is the escalation protocol? Should I involve the police if the fight resulted in my child being hospitalized?"
"It is amazing that teachers fall for the nice girl to them who intimidates and is MEAN to other girls. My daughter had an issue with a mean girl at dance and I had a friend who teaches at the girls school who said she has such a nice personality - yet when my daughter asked a boy who went to her school why she was mean to her, he said she is like that to the girls at school as well. Girl bullying is very different from boy bullying"