By GreatSchools Staff
Child's Age: 18
Child's School Level: High school
Area(s) child struggles: Attention, Emotions, Reading, Self-esteem, Social Skills
My 18-year-old daughter with AD/HD and LD became involved with an emotionally abusive young man this year. Like many individuals with AD/HD, she is socially less mature than her peers. This young man manipulated her time, controlled who she saw and when, and was always angry with her for something. He threatened to hurt himself if he could not see her. He interfered with her study time at school, and he thoroughly convinced her that he needed her, that all the things he did were born of love.
Initially we saw some red flags in terms of manipulation and talked of our concerns at meetings with her therapist and with our daughter. As things worsened we spoke to her advisor at school and the school nurse who saw her once a day for meds. When we realized the relationship was not going to end on its own, we encouraged our daughter to look closely at this young man, and we provided her with information on the warning signs of abuse. We limited the amount of time she could spend with him as much as possible and frankly discussed our dislike for his behaviors, telling her we thought she was in danger. We sought advice from her therapist and again from the school advisor and nurse. We made it clear to her that we would be supportive of the break-up.
Nothing really worked until a teacher reported what she perceived as emotional abuse (or bullying) by the young man to my daughter at school. It was the obligation of the advisor to report the incident to us, and we used this as a catalyst for illustrating to our daughter what was happening. We had her call a local counseling center and shelter for domestic emotional/violent abuse. The intake counselor was able to identify what she thought was a problem and convinced our daughter to set up an appointment and seek counseling.
Our daughter broke up with the young man, and his obsession continued to the point of him sending threatening letters. We went back to the school, provided them copies of the letters, and made appropriate arrangements to have teachers keep their eye on the situation. Currently my daughter is seeing her own therapist and counselor at the domestic abuse shelter. Our focus is on her self-esteem and worthiness. She will attend college next year at a state university and has been accepted into their engineering program. Her goal is to become a mechanical engineer.
Our daughter is a bright and attractive young woman who wants to please everyone. She has overcome many obstacles with her LD and AD/HD and wrote a paper this year on the need for both medication and behavioral modification in the treatment of AD/HD. Yet, as self aware as she is, she did not respond to the obvious control and manipulation of the young man she was dating. She is non-confrontational and would break up with him only to take him back when he would plead and beg. It took several incidents and interventions before she was convinced she was in an unhealthy relationship.
Sign up for our free newsletter and we'll send you
more just like it every week.
Thank you! You will begin to receive newsletters from us shortly.
Great work! Only one more step. Now we just need you to verify your email address. Please click on the link in the email we just sent you to complete your registration.
Great work! Only one more step. Now we just need you to verify your email address. Please click on the link in the email we just sent you to submit your review.
Please click on the link in the verification email we just sent you to complete your change of email address.
Whoops! It looks like we still need to verify your email. To do so, please click on the link in the email we sent you. Can't find the e-mail? Click the button below and we'll send you a new one.
Thanks for registering. Welcome to GreatSchools, the largest online community committed to improving educational outcomes through parental involvement.
Thanks for verifying your updated email address.
Oops! You haven't verified your email address yet. To do so, please click on the link in the email we sent you. Can't find the email? Click the button below to receive a new one.
Oops! That email verification link has expired. Please click the button below to receive a new one.
Create an account to submit your answers.
Sign in with an existing GreatSchools account or using Facebook:
Your review has been posted to GreatSchools.
Share with friends! Post your opinion of on Facebook.
Welcome to GreatSchools!
For principals and school officials, we offer a special Enhanced School Profile (ESP) which allows you to update and add information about your school, as well as respond to reviews. If you are a school official, click Continue to start.
Please note that it can take up to 48 hours for your comment to be posted to our site. While you're here, we'd like to invite you to fill out a survey on your school's programs, activities, and extracurriculars. It only takes a few minutes and will help parents get a full picture of your school.
Get started now! You have successfully registered and can now start updating your Official School Profile. The information you provide is extremely valuable in helping parents and students learn more about your school, so thanks for taking the time!
Thank you for registering as a school leader. We just need to verify your email address. We've sent you an email - please click on the link in that message to get started editing your school's information!
Thanks! We just sent you an email – please click on the link in the email to post your answers.
Get timely updates for , including performance data and recently posted user reviews.