"wow i am doing a project for english on sexting and this is amazing
"This is some advice that I came across when I was worried about my child
DonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t wait for an incident to happen to your child or your childÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s
friend before you talk about the consequences of sexting. Sure, talking
about sex or dating with teens can be uncomfortable, but itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s better to
have the talk before something happens.
Remind your kids that once an image is sent, it can never be retrieved --
and they will lose control of it. Ask teens how they would feel if their
teachers, parents, or the entire school saw the picture, because that
happens all the time.
Talk about pressures to send revealing photos. Let teens know that you
understand how they can be pushed or dared into sending something. Tell them
that no matter how big the social pressure is, the potential social
humiliation can be hundreds of times worse.
Teach your children that the buck stops with them. If someone sends them a
photo, they should delete it immediately. ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s better to be part of the
solution than the problem. Besides, if they do send it on, they're
distributing pornography -- and thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s against the law.
If you are concerned about your child sexting, I used an app called
Mobileminder to keep an eye on what my son was doing on his cell phone.
With Mobileminder I was able to check his text messages, pictures, call
logs, etc. from my computer. If you are concerned about your own child I
would highly recommend using Mobileminder. The website is
"This is a great article as you can see all of the great opinions, ideas
and statistical data. All of the comments raise good points and have
merit in my opinion. The issue of "sexting" is not due to one issue or
reason, it is a combination of simple reasons and more complicated ones.
When I break down all of these factors and reasons for "sexting", it all
seems to come down to, and this by no means is the only explanation, moral
and value judgments which are a great source of identity struggles for a
teen or tween, but also the need or desire to fit in or belong. I have
followed Brenee Brown PhD who is a national researcher on shame issues and
she brings up a valid point in her data of fitting in versus belonging. I
may be wrong, but I interpret these ideas that "fitting in" deals with the
actions a young person takes in trying to ultimately "belong". A sense or
feeling of belonging is crucial to a young persons self worth and
validation. Talk to your kids, be parents!
to your kids, not their best friend. When I hear the excuses that it is
not right to look through your kids cell phones or computers I can't help
be concerned about that, as well as the comments that it is in some way
"technologies" or the "cell phones" fault. I am my childrens parent and
as a parent it is not only my right to know what they are doing, it is my
duty. You may disagree, and I welcome those disagreements because it
brings out ideas and open discussions. Thank you for all of your comments
and this discussion.
"Doesn't seem like too much of a problem it is a problem, but the girl
shouldn't have hung herself. Its like if every person who had a problem
"I don't know why this article buries the obvious thing to do in a
paragraph on page two. This article should be two sentences long:
"Every cell phone company offers the ability to disable picture messaging.
Call them right now."
End of story.
"Another option is do not give children this age cell phones ... just 10 years ago children this age did not have cell phones and it seems they all got along in life pretty well. We all make excuses for reasons why children need cell phones but the fact of the matter is just a decade ago cell phones (and smart phones) were not as prevalent and our society got along just fine ... and likely better!
"This problem started long before texting! Immorality is increasingly
becoming more perverse. Like it or not the truth is that all of AmericaÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s
woes started in June of 1963 when pray and the bible was banished from the
public schools. At this very point is when the hoards of hell came pouring
into this blessed nation. Before this time was when most Americans were
sound minded and moral. You take God out of the equation and you get a
vacuum that is filled up with evil. Therefore, sound minded people became
less and less. America's present generation now has become warped minded
(thanks to the distorted teachings and ideologies of the education system)
which is instrumental in producing parents who want to be friends to their
children rather than parents. God help us in Jesus name!
"Unfortunately, cell phones are a necessity in California. One child
travels via train 33 miles each way to a charter school, alone, in the
land of earthquakes. Having a cell phone has been critical to keeping him
safe. Other child has had cell phone since 8 years old, travels 14 miles
in opposite direction via school bus, and has needed the phone to alert us
to emergencies (bullying, sickness that teacher wouldn't address and
required medical care, etc.). Ipods, even Nintendo DS, have internet
access. Even "good kids" can get sucked in... It is all about talking to
your kids about everything. If your kids talk endlessly about TV shows,
friends, and toys, they are more likely to talk about "important" things,
so we talk about EVERYTHING. Hopefully, (and so far), the kids have stayed
out of trouble.
"INSANITY! This is not about cell phones or other technology. It's about
a lack of morals and good judgement. When I was 13 years old I wouldn't
have dreamed of baring any private body parts to get a boy interested. It
should not be happening at all and you can't blame it on the cell phones
and texting. It's pure and simple a lack of parenting. Kids who are
doing this are so far down the wrong track. Turn off the crappy video
games, TV shows, and foul music on the radio. Spend time with your kids
and get your head out of the sand. Stop blaming technology.
And if you think your kids are too immature to understand,
developmentally, the results of their actions, DON'T GIVE THEM A CELL
PHONE. NO 13 YEAR OLD NEEDS A CELL PHONE!
"Sexting - and even using the cell phone in class -is directly proportional
to the discipline and interest level of the teacher. Since 99% of this
goes on while the student is "sitting in a (boring) class" then if the
teacher is clear and consistent with his/her rules, and has a clear and
challenging curriculum, then the phone won't even be looked at during
"I agree with the tenage, it is because of the technology. I call it
"I suspect this post will annoy those that are certain about the black and
white rules of society and the clear concept of resposibility, but here it
is anyway: Broadly speaking, kids ages 16-24 are not developmentally
equipped to understand or deeply consider the consequences of their
actions (drinking and driving, having sex, fighting, sexting, etc.).
Simply, that is a fact-do the research. For the most part, while they can
learn not to do something dumb twice, they lack the capacity to generalize
one mistake to another unrelated action that turns out also to be a
mistake. It is the way it is; our job as adults is to try to help kids
make healthy choices, pay close attention so as to minimize the chance of
your child making a major life altering decision, but understand when they
do make a mistake---turning them into criminals is, in a word, criminal!
"If you gave a child a gun, you could hardly claim surprise when a bullet
The solution for sexting - and a whole host of other cell phone-related
maladies is simple: children do not need cell phones.
Spend that extra $40-60 per month of your easily-disposable income on
something much more worthwhile.
"Good article, but I take exception that, "You can also justify doing spot
checks of your teens' phones if you pay for all or part of the bills."
Wrong ... I can justify doing anything with my teen's phone because I am
his/her parent. I don't need to pay a nickel of the bill to exercise my
parental rights/jurisdiction. Ever.
You should also mention the text monitoring services that are available
for relatively low cost. The only drawback is that I've discovered they
only operate on the Android platform, so unless your child has a non-Apple
smartphone, you're out of luck.
"I have never added texting to my daughter's cell phone privaledge for msny
reasons,the least of which was the waste of time while failing to learn
verbal communication skills. Young people are missing the most important
aspect of communication; the fact that nearly 70% of all human
communication is comprised of non verbal, or body body language. While
they stare at yet another screen, they are not interacting one on one and
forging real relationships. As a Speech Pathologist I see that young
people do not spend enough time creating lasting memories having simple
fun. There can be no other explenation for the rampant misuse of this mode
of communication. As far as I am concerned this is the lowest form of
human interaction being an abbreviated format which can easily be
misunderstood. One must always think of anything the young person can
conceive of doing with the electronics of today as potentially dangerous
because most children will find a way to misuse almost anything f!
or the sake of social acceptance. Think about it; how much time do your
children actually spend interacting with other young people in order to
make benign mistakes which do not have such far reaching consequences. Who
says children have to be empowered with unlimited internet usage, texting,
and television; all of which can serve to focus and build on their already
pervasive teenage anks? When did all of these devises become an
entitlement and why are these children not developing much needed social
skills in a more positive venue with adult supervision. Think about how
we were raised. Did our parents run around as much and allow technology to
be their children's teachers. Were our parents not aware of where we were
going and with whom? When did parents give up the job of parenting and
allow other children, television and the internet do it for them. I am not
trying to sound holier than thou, I have made many mistakes as any human
will do, yet we do not have television, t!
he internet use is done through my computer and monitored and !
I do not have texting and neither does my daughter. My goodness these
youngsters cannot write a decent sentence with all the abreiviated text.
They learn from the media that sex sells and attracts and they think it is
all an accepted way to conduct ones life. When one father heard my
daughter "complaining" about her limited access to technology, (something
she secretly is glad I do but loves to complain to her friends as all
young people do), he actually threatened to report me to protective
services for denying her access to technology. Does he understand that we
talk more, read together more, play board games and actually interact
together more, and I ask you, how is that a bad thing?
"Gee, a school district decided to ban "sexting?" Like this is a
"Hmm, yes, about 22% of the 653 teens surveyed said that technology made
them feel more forward and aggressive... But then 78% did not feel that
way. I agree with the person who said it's a parenting problem. These
kids who are doing this have no moral compass and are quite willing to
blame it on the technology. Pretty sad!
"I go through cell phones, back packs and purses. I pay the bill and I'm
responsible for what goes in and out of my house. I'm very open about sex
and not stupid to the fact itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s going to happen. I also understand drugs
can also happen to very good kids. I was a teenager not that long ago.
However, the one thing my kids wonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t be able to say is I didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t care
enough to check. I grew up with friends whoÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s parents didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to
INVADE PRIVACY and when talking to those friends now. WE all say the same
thing my parent should have looked a little closer and maybe that would not
have happened. Now with that being said as a parent you canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t stop
everything. KidÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s r going to have sex and maybe drugs but talking to your
kids and educating them on the subject will help them to make their own
decisions. Not to mention when they learn things such information about STDs
it does come up in their conversations with their friends. The biggest thing
about sexting is that one pict!
ure can turn an Adult's world upside down when used with the wrong
intentions. Teenagers are not yet ready to deal with that kind of attention
no matter how cocky or secure they may act."
"To the person who thought that a school official shouldn't treat sexting
as a police matter: Sexually explict photographs are considered to be
pornography. Child porn (i.e., involving a minor) is illegal. There have
been a couple of incidents involving sexting in our community and
surrounding area and the police DO get involved, as well as the county
District Attorney, because child porn is illegal. The school principal or
other administrators don't have much choice but to cooperate. By the time
a kid is in middle school or high school they should have more sense to
know that this is wrong. When children are constantly exposed to poor
role models on TV and radio, and more trash on video games, and get no
moral direction from parents, I guess we can expect that things will go
awry. Parents need to take responsiblity for their children. It's a sad
state of affairs that this country is in."
"How to prevent sexting? Teach your kids what's right and wrong from a
young age, and then they won't abuse the technology they have at their
disposal! The mobile phones and digital technology are not the source of
the problem here."
"Going through your child's cellphone is not the answer. I mean hi, there
is this thing called delete! Talk to your child about it. Invading their
privacy is not the answer. And as someone said earlier, the real problem
is our nations taboo on nudity. It is the human body! It is natural and
"This is a very interesting article, as are the comments that have posted
to date. The article said there was a survey where teens were asked about
this, and the response was that the cell phone made them feel forward and
aggressive. That would mean that this technology, be it cells phones,
iPods, even cameras, is partially responsible. Without these items, the
kids wouldn't feel forward or aggressive. Someone mentioned that before
this technology, middle school student wouldn't have shown parts of their
body, face to face... I disagree. When I was in school, this was done, not
just the girls, but the boys too. Not often, with the chance of someone
else seeing that it was not intended for, another student, faculty, but it
I think that too much emphasis is put on our own bodies, we cover them up
and hide ourselves when our children come in unexpectedly. Talking about
our nudity, sex or other things is normally pushed away by parents who are
embarrassed, because their parents didn't discuss these things with their
children. What is so wrong about the human body? We were all born without
clothing. Adam and Eve wore no clothing, until the whole fruit incident.
But really, if children are exposed to peoples bodies, and could talk
about things that they don't understand or are concerned about... there
wouldn't be such a 'mystery', about sex or our bodies. Make it less of a
mystery, and you'll find that later in life when the kids reach 'the age',
whatever age that is when kids start noticing the opposite sex, the
mystery is taken out, and they don't have that question in the back of
their mind, the mystery is gone.
I know that the majority of the world will not agree with what I've said,
and that's entirely okay, but if you would really think about it, and I
mean really took your time to think about it, you might agree.
I have always been open and very honest about sex, nudity, what happens at
what age, the consequences of acting upon feelings with my children (4
girls). They are very well balanced teenagers all four of them.
Don't get hung up on who likes who, who you like, if he's hurt you. These
things can be extremely distractive, and the majority of the people you
meet in school will not matter when you get older. You will make new
friends that fit you better when you are older because you know who you
are then, rather than the confusion of who are you, who are you going to
be when you're a teenager."
"Well... Sorry to say this but I believe that sexting is going a bit too
far... and kids shouldn't be pressured to do so in any relationship. But
is it really that big a deal? Besides, maybe we wouldn't be so tempted to
send and receive pictures like that if parents weren't so close minded
about talking. Children who are curious about sex should have a right to
ask their parents about it and get an honest answer, not awkward silence."
"I also want to add, that calling the sexual exploration by children 'smut'
and 'sordid' is sick by itself. These are children who need to learn how
to have healthy relationships. Calling them smutty won't help "
"I would never cooperate with any school official who would treat this as a
police matter. We should be concerned about our child's emotional and
sexual development without having to be worried that the behavior would be
"Very good article. This info needs to be at the front line of educating
kids about what is out there that can harm them, as well as family. In my
opinion, the teaching should be done as boldly and forthright as possible.
Children are a precious gift from God that are to be cherished and
protected from the vile preditors that are so ramport in our society
"I know a lot of kids who do that kind of thing, I am not necessarily
friends with them though and I don't own a cell phone. Personally I don't
mind cell phones or ipods as long as they stay in the lockers all during
schools. I find the issue is in how much of a taboo nudity and sex is in
our society, really if it weren't a almost illegal topic teenagers would
not use it as another way to rebel. Now I do not support porn in any way
because really use your common sense it is not that hard, if you don't
have any that is a different matter entirely, and I wish there were a way
I could help."
"Yes, most certainly the availability and proliferation of cell phones and
other technology have brought this problem to a new level. But to put the
blame on the cell phone or the technology itself is wrong. What happened
parents teaching kids plain, old moral behavior? Back when you were in
middle school would you have dreamed of baring any part of your private
anatomy and showing it to a member of the opposite sex (or anyone)? Or
sending a picture to another kid? I'm quite sure that most people out
there say no, so why are kids so easily tempted to do that these days?
Perhaps it's a lack of moral education! Let's turn off the TVs with the
smutty talk and constant innuendo; It's inappropriate for children. Ditto
for the video games. Let's stop dressing our pre-teens (and younger kids)
like they were adults. Don't be in such a rush for your kids to grow up!
And most of all - talk to your kids about what's appropriate and what's
not - this doesn't start when the kids!
get into middle school, it's a part of parenting that begins when they
are toddlers. Get a clue out there, it's not the cell phones that are
causing this problem!"
"This is another timely article. I have interrupted sexting pics as well
as explicit messages and called those that sent it and told them I would
be contacting their parents and the school if they didnt want to give me
their parents info. I used it as an opportunity not to just scare them
straight but opened a dialougue with each kid and everyone of them are not
able to talk to their parents about sex. I believe that cell phones,ipods
should be banned from school totally. We had no phones or ipods and if
there was an emergency out parents were contacted via the school phone.
Our kids would be able to really focus minus those technical distractions."