By Jan Baumel, M.S.
Are there times when your child seems to willfully defy you? Do you receive frequent notes or phone calls from school about those same behaviors? Out of frustration, do you find yourself raising your voice or saying things you later regret?
Behavior is a way of communicating with others. It can be aimed at getting something, such as your attention or a snack. You may have experienced this when you're talking on the phone and your child just has to speak to you. Behavior may also be designed to help him escape doing something that's really hard or would keep him from having fun. You may have noticed this when you ask him to do his chores, but he'd rather play computer games.
As a parent, you may think you understand what your child's behavior is telling you. But even though you know him well, there will be times when the message isn't clear.
If your child doesn't follow directions, it's easy to believe he's being stubborn or ignoring you on purpose. But his behavior may be covering up problems remembering or understanding directions. Perhaps you're talking too much — giving him more than he can handle verbally.
Next time see if these strategies help him:
If your child doesn't start homework until the last minute, you may think he's being lazy or defiant. But maybe he doesn't know how to get started. Perhaps he has problems with the concept of time or can't decide when his work is good enough. Some kids think the "due date" is the day they're supposed to "do" the project.
These ideas may help to make homework time a little less frustrating:
If your child just can't seem to sit still to get anything done, it's easy to believe he's just being difficult. But he may physically need to move more than his brothers or sisters because that's who he is. Here are some ways to help:
Sign up for our free newsletter and we'll send you
more just like it every week.
Thank you! You will begin to receive newsletters from us shortly.
Great work! Only one more step. Now we just need you to verify your email address. Please click on the link in the email we just sent you to complete your registration.
Great work! Only one more step. Now we just need you to verify your email address. Please click on the link in the email we just sent you to submit your review.
Please click on the link in the verification email we just sent you to complete your change of email address.
Whoops! It looks like we still need to verify your email. To do so, please click on the link in the email we sent you. Can't find the e-mail? Click the button below and we'll send you a new one.
Thanks for registering. Welcome to GreatSchools, the largest online community committed to improving educational outcomes through parental involvement.
Thanks for verifying your updated email address.
Oops! You haven't verified your email address yet. To do so, please click on the link in the email we sent you. Can't find the email? Click the button below to receive a new one.
Oops! That email verification link has expired. Please click the button below to receive a new one.
Create an account to submit your answers.
Sign in with an existing GreatSchools account or using Facebook:
Your review has been posted to GreatSchools.
Share with friends! Post your opinion of on Facebook.
Welcome to GreatSchools!
For principals and school officials, we offer a special Enhanced School Profile (ESP) which allows you to update and add information about your school, as well as respond to reviews. If you are a school official, click Continue to start.
Please note that it can take up to 48 hours for your comment to be posted to our site. While you're here, we'd like to invite you to fill out a survey on your school's programs, activities, and extracurriculars. It only takes a few minutes and will help parents get a full picture of your school.
Get started now! You have successfully registered and can now start updating your Official School Profile. The information you provide is extremely valuable in helping parents and students learn more about your school, so thanks for taking the time!
Thank you for registering as a school leader. We just need to verify your email address. We've sent you an email - please click on the link in that message to get started editing your school's information!
Thanks! We just sent you an email – please click on the link in the email to post your answers.
Get timely updates for , including performance data and recently posted user reviews.