Summer planning for tweens and teens
Too old for camp. Too young to get a job. What to do? If you start early and know where to look, there's plenty out there to keep older kids happy and busy during summer break.
Tips for a "learning" summer
- Let your child take the lead. Your role in the process should be a supportive one: help your child brainstorm ideas and find resources, but don't do all the work. If your colleague is looking for a teenager to help him paint his deck, find out the best way for your child to contact him. Then let your child take it from there. "You want your child to learn to talk to adults and ask for information — these are essential life skills," says Henzel-Sello.
- Reinforce job skills. Whether your child ends up with a volunteer position or a babysitting job for the family next door, encourage her to take it seriously. This is an opportunity to reinforce jobs skills like showing up on time and being a go-getter employee.
- Ask for a recommendation. Remind your child to ask for a letter of recommendation for every position he has, whether he's volunteering or getting paid. It's always better to have a letter in hand than to have to go back and ask for one later. Remember: that letter will come in handy when he applies for his next job.
By Connie Matthiessen
It's a parent's summertime nightmare. While you're at work all day, your tween or teen is at home. Alone. With nothing to do. So what does she do? She turns your house into party central.
This nightmare is exactly what happened to psychologist John Duffy's clients, a family in a well-heeled Chicago suburb. "Every day when the parents went to work, their two teenagers invited all their friends over and had drinking parties," Duffy says. "Some days there were as many as 100 kids at the house." The couple didn't learn about the parties until halfway through the summer, when another parent alerted them.
For kids, there's nothing more delicious than summer vacation: two-plus months free from school. But for parents of older kids, the summer months can be fraught with very real hazards: from drugs and alcohol to ill-advised risk-taking to auto accidents. (Most deadly car crashes involving teens age 13 to 19 occur between Memorial Day and Labor Day, according to the American Automobile Association).
Other summer perils are less dangerous, but alarming just the same: the National Summer Learning Association (NSLA) reports that kids lose significant ground academically when they’re not engaged in summertime educational activities. NSLA also found that kids gain weight two to three times faster during the summer months, likely because of inactivity and poor food choices.
For younger kids there's camp. But for millions of tweens and teens? They exist in a summertime no-man’s-land: too old for lanyards and too young to get a job. Even for older teens, the job market is bleak. "In many cases, camp counseling jobs and other jobs traditionally held by teens are being filled by college students and recent college graduates," says Gabriel Hanzel-Sello, a counselor at Enterprise for High School Students, a San Francisco nonprofit that helps teens learn job skills and find employment.
So how is an idle teen supposed to pass those summer months? If you're lucky, he can visit grandma for a week or two. Maybe you'll take a family vacation. And sure, a couple of weeks of unstructured downtime is welcome after the pressures of a long school year. But that still leaves weeks, and more weeks, to fill. The best innoculation against summertime shenanigans? Duffy advises: keep them busy! Plus, by finding inspired activities, your child will develop invaluable skills for high school, college, and beyond.
Happily, summer opportunities for tweens and teens are out there. The trick to homing in on the right ones is to get started early. Registration for most summer jobs and internships starts sooner than you might think — as early as January and February. Kate Shatzkin of NSLA suggests asking your child's teacher for ideas during the spring parent-teacher conference. "The teacher can talk about areas your child needs to work on, and skills essential for the next grade," she says. "She can also tell you which subjects make your child come alive in class — because she has a perspective on your child's interests that you don't have — as well as ideas for classes and other resources to encourage those interests."
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