“Ah, you noticed that Mom/Dad and I don’t agree about everything. We each have our strong convictions, but lucky for you, we both want to make sure you’re safe.” This is classic Faber-speak from the bestselling co-author of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. To build a  long-lasting relationship built on honesty, trust, and mutual respect, and to help children build their problem-solving skills, Adele Faber emphasizes that parents work with the child towards a solution. Here’s how Faber suggests following up:

“Now, about crossing that busy intersection by yourself: I’m okay with it, but Mom/Dad feels it’s too dangerous. She/he may be right. Suppose we do some practice crossings together when the traffic isn’t so heavy? We can review what to look out for, time the lights, and figure out the safest way for you to get to where you want to go. Then we can show Mom/Dad what you learned and see if that gives her/him the confidence to give you the go-ahead.”

Here’s how 4 other parenting experts say to respond…


Richard Weissbourd
“Are you on the same highway with your partner?” asks The Parents We Mean to Be author Richard Weissbourd. If not, make sure you get there to avoid constant conflict. Format: Video (1:20)

Erica Reischer
Give kids credit for trying to get what they want, says parent coach and psychologist Erica Reischer. But to keep the endless back-and-forth in check, follow this one guideline. Format: Video (1:37)

Jane Nelsen
The bestselling author of Positive Discipline says that by keeping your response short and sweet, you’ll avoid unnecessary conflict. Format: Article

Heidi Allen Garvin
Heidi Allen Garvin, founder of the popular website Mormon Moms, says parents should avoid creating a dynamic that pits parents against each other. Here’s how. Format: Article

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