Richard Weissbourd on “I hate you!”

Kids will "go through moments when they are really angry and hate their parents," says Harvard psychologist Richard Weissbourd. But that doesn't make saying it OK.

by: The GreatSchools Editorial Team

Here’s how 4 other parenting experts say to respond…

Christine Carter
“When somebody says something so hurtful, your response is going to be… ‘I hate you, too,’” says Raising Happiness author Christine Carter. But don’t go there, she adds. Take this approach instead. Format: Video (1:38)

John Duffy
“Usually when a child says this… they mean something different,” says psychologist John Duffy, author of The Available Parent. Here’s how to read between the lines. Format: Video (1:04)

Erica Reischer
Is it time for a stern lecture or a time-out? Neither. Parent coach and psychologist Erica Reischer says by taking this approach, you’ll get beyond these three ugly words. Format: Video (1:42)

Madeline Levine
“Disagreement is tolerated. Disrespect is not,” says psychologist Madeline Levine. Here’s her advice on what to do when your child utters these dagger-to-the-heart words. Format: Video (1:04)

About the author

The GreatSchools Editorial Team

GreatSchools.org is a national nonprofit with a mission to help every child obtain a high-quality education that values their unique abilities, identities, and aspirations. We believe in the power of research-backed, actionable information to empower parents, family members, and educators to help make this happen. For 25 years, the GreatSchools Editorial Team has been working to make the latest, most important, and most actionable research in education, learning, and child development accessible and actionable for parents through articles, videos, podcasts, hands-on learning resources, email and text messaging programs, and more. Our team consists of journalists, researchers, academics, former teachers and education leaders — most of whom are also dedicated parents and family members — who not only research, fact check, and write or produce this information, but who use it in our daily lives as well. We welcome your feedback at editorial@greatschools.org.